I was talking about Virginity with a friend. We're both female, and I am so lucky that we can talk about everything with each other, and as straight females, I'd like to think that there are other people lucky enough to have friends that you can share your most intimate secrets with. Anyway, we ended up talking about virginity. She has slept with others, whereas I haven't. She said she thought she'd lost her virginity before sex. She explained that she did all those things, such as horseriding, and biking, etc that are meant to rupture the hymen before sex. That got me thinking, and after a lot of discussion, as I did gymnastics, competitive horse riding, and a lot of biking, and energetic excercise, when I was a lot yonger, she suddenly and rather over joyously, declared that I am not a 30yr old freak, afterall - I am no longer a virgin, as my Hymen has probably already been broken ! I explained delicately that nothing - ever - has been 'up there' and she said that it didn't matter. The Hymen was the indicator of Virginity in females. Ok, so what about guys ? Well, she said that they lose their virginity the first time they are intimate with another, which includes penetration. So that would mean "I'm still a virgin then ?" I asked smugly, she said no because of the Hymen thing. These maybe the niave ramblings of an in-experienced one, but you guys know what you are talking about, so I have questions : 1) What exactly is Virginity ? Penetration of any orifice ? Point of 1st Orgasm ? Rupture of Hymen ? First groin to groin experimentation ? 2) Does it mean that you can effectively lose your own virginity via sex toys ? If that's the case, why aren't we told about this, so ladies can get over the painful stage on their own, in privacy if thy chose, and then enjoy their 1st proper intimate encounter, without concerns on pain - which a lot of my friends were very worried about before and after their first time. 3) If the Hymen is ruptured, does it make sex any less painful 1st time ? 4) Why are we so eager to change our 'status' ? Is it like smoking when you are a kid ? - it seems to make a lot of the kids in my area think they are all grown up, giving by the tales they tell. 5) Does losing your virginity change your thoughts and way of being ? Does it really signify a coming of age, and if so why ? 6) Why is it deemed so important to lose your virginity ? Why does society outcast you if they know you are still a virgin at 20 or in my case, 30yrs old ? Ok, it's over to you, Guys. What do you think ?
Surely the amount of effect of losing one's virginity depends on the context: a rough first time with some guy from a bar when you're 16 and drunk probably isnt going to do much good for you! although it'll then of course be down the the individual as well... early experiences probably attract and repel even amounts of the public. Human individuality combined with the number of us on the planet mean that there will probably be at least someone for every possible opinion. Of course, society and our local environment will hve something to do with how we react to out first times. The rest is probably down to family life. As for actully responding directly to your questions, dictionary.com will define virginity for you because it is a word that describes something therefore its meaning is not up for public debate! As for pain of penetration, being a guy ive only lost my anal virginity but i can imagine that any hymen rupturing pain is going to be unnoticable compared to stretching issues. I base this on two things: the hymen is designed to be broken and there are VERY few nerves inside our bodies hence people not noticing internal bleeding etc... admittedly the vagina is bound to hve much more than most, id imagine it's less sensitive than the outer regions. As for will it change you views on things, probably slightly, yes. This will depend how you lose your virginity and any external influences. But as i said, you may be a generally resilient person and purely hve your contextual feelings: was it nice, was he nice etc... I have no virginities left to lose and feel that it should be like anything else that's the first of something - it should be the most intense time you do it whether good or not!
1) What exactly is Virginity ? Penetration of any orifice ? Point of 1st Orgasm ? Rupture of Hymen ? First groin to groin experimentation ? to me, it's penetration with the penis of either the vagina or anus. Which means that by my definition, a lesbian can still be a virgin... but that's just how I've always interpreted it. 2) Does it mean that you can effectively lose your own virginity via sex toys ? If that's the case, why aren't we told about this, so ladies can get over the painful stage on their own, in privacy if thy chose, and then enjoy their 1st proper intimate encounter, without concerns on pain - which a lot of my friends were very worried about before and after their first time. Toys are toys, not a person. Doesn't mean you lose your virginity. The first time with another partner is always going to be strange and new, because you've never experienced it before - that's just anxiety. My first time wasn't at all painful. 3) If the Hymen is ruptured, does it make sex any less painful 1st time ? Maybe. Some people aren't born with a hymen, a lot of others lose it through bike riding etc. I think that a lot of the times it's painful the first time is because one or both of the people are too anxious to relax and enjoy it, too stressed out to get turned on enough to be comfortable. And not enough lube! 4) Why are we so eager to change our 'status' ? Is it like smoking when you are a kid ? - it seems to make a lot of the kids in my area think they are all grown up, giving by the tales they tell. Well, since I never smoked nor felt the urge to... I did it because my hormones were raging, and I loved and trusted my partner. I felt like it was something I really wanted to share with him. 5) Does losing your virginity change your thoughts and way of being ? Does it really signify a coming of age, and if so why ? I don't think it really changes who you are. It may open the door for you to expand your sexual self... but I was already doing that for quite a while before actually engaging in sex. 6) Why is it deemed so important to lose your virginity ? Why does society outcast you if they know you are still a virgin at 20 or in my case, 30yrs old ? Because it implies that no one wants you, that you can't get any even if you wanted to. Which is ridiculous, since so many choose to save their virginity and there's nothing wrong with that.
