I’m new to this forum and I apologize if this has been posted before. I consider myself a feminine gay so I gravitate and respond better with trans/cd. Whatever happened to conversation, romance, sensuality? You talk with some guys and try to be cute and build up the mood and all they want is the physical stuff. I like sending cute message and being sensual. I think it adds so much to the physical part when you do get there. I’m turned off by just wanting the physical talk. Then there are guys “hey send me a pic”. Even worse. so am I missing something? Am I the only one that feels like this? Perhaps I’m the strange one. Thank you for listening to my vent. I apologize if this has been posted before. I’m new here and haven’t reviewed all posts.
Yes they are. Having said that it is possible to go from there and create a real relationship. My girlfriend and I started like that and went from sex to love.
Did that ever exist? And now with our electronics people get instant gratification through cyber sex. No strings no commitments. I don't understand it but it's not easy to talk and express feelings for some people either.
In these days of Covid, technology is all that is keeping romance alive. I chat with my girlfriend for two to three hours a day and that time is the best part of our days. It keeps our love alive and flourishing.
We're men...[shrugs]...and many of us are visual creatures with high sex drive. It is what it is...but we are individuals who have our differences, naturally. I can only speak for myself...and I'm a romantic...as long as there is an attraction. Some people are attracted to wit, charm, intelligence, etc...and that's enough to spark a romance which leads to affection, sensuality and the desire to go further. Others...won't give you the time of day if you aren't physically beautiful. Some just want sex and aren't interested in a relationship of any type. Sexual attraction is very important to some people just like having sex in a relationship. If I don't find you sexually appealing then I have no interest in wasting yours or my time in trying to develop anything further. There has to be that *spark*...that little something that creates desire...which leads to wanting to be sensual with that person. Sex leads to passion... and if something develops then so be it.
My most rewarding relationships were not initiated on the internet. I've tried that approach, and it simply has not worked as well for me as getting out and meeting people in real life. Remember that old saying "Tune in, turn on, and drop out"? I recommend that if you are not getting anywhere with on-line relationships, tune in to that evidence and drop out of that approach. When you meet people doing everyday activities, you learn from the beginning who is a good listener and who isn't. You quickly learn who you have good chemistry with. You immediately begin to sense whether a person makes you feel better about life or worse. And, most of all, you get real in-in-the-moment feedback, both verbal and non-verbal, about how engaging you are. Gradually, you make a list of what is really important to you in a relationship. And here is another observation: Not all men are srictly sex/genital focused. There are some very considerate men out there, men who are not jaded on internet porn and internet snarkiness. I know. I've met them in the high Sierras, at music festivals, at campgrounds, at work, and even doing mundane activities like shopping or walking the dog. These sort of men do not depend on the internet for contact with others, and you won't meet them unless you turn off your electronic device and do the real form of "face time" with other people.
