What does she want???

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by ippn1, Jun 2, 2013.

  1. ippn1

    ippn1 Guest


    - girl (22) was very attracted to me, chasing me...
    - we started dating (1 month), everything super, she was very into me
    - got premenstrual (depressed), i figured out she was not over her ex of 3 years
    - saw her ex at a party soon after that (she texted him next day...)
    - told my she didnt fall in love with me and is not over her ex and cant be my GF
    - went NC

    The problem is Im stuck at home because I had surgery (foot) and cant do much but think about it. Im still not over it completely. Every time it gets better something happens: I saw her or she somehow contact me.
    2 weeks after we broke up she contacted me because i have some common stuff with her father (small town, I know him from before) and he called me he will bring me something, but then she texted me that she will (she didnt because it turned out that 'this thing' was not finished)...

    Then 1 month after we broke up i went to a party she knew I was attending so she came with her friend (my friends girlfriend) and they hung out in our circle whole party. We said just 'hi' to each other (her drunk friend constantly telling me to go talk to her, I didnt).Then next day after that party she texted me - she wished me good luck and stuff like that because she knew im going to have a surgery next week...

    I dont know why she does that. Its like remembering me all the time. I was thinking to block her contacts but that would be strange since there were nothing ugly between us.

    So is that her just being friendly or she still think about me (wants to have me for 2nd choice)?

    Now its been 14 days NC again...
  2. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    Ahh, still struggling with that problem, are ya...

    Dude, I honestly think she's fucking with your head, and this might even be happening without her even trying to. Is she a Gemini? OR did I ask this question already on your previous thread? lol xD I can't remember, haha. But the joke aside, this is where you stay strong and move on. If she's anything like the girl I know, then she WILL keep reappearing in your life, trying to resume interaction and such, every time you have something new going on in your life, and especially where romance is concerned. It's actually a bit scary, when you think about it.

    She probably views every guy she finds attractive as her potential backup plan. Although, she might be completely unaware of this. It's to do with the psychological stability aspect. If she's a psychologically unstable person, then she might always find herself lonely and unsatisfied even when she's in a seemingly decent relationship. She might lose interest in her current lover quick, or she might get excessively jealous over something trivial, or she might seek attention from other sources(guys). I think your situation might have been the one where I used the "Pandora's box" analogy... And it still is, in one way or another.

    I remember you saying you can't remain friends with her if you two can't date. Well, if that were the case then so be it. Forget about her. Acknowledge her as an acquaintance perhaps, but don't get yourself involved any further than this. She's a Pandora's Box. It may take time but you'll meet someone who will be upfront about what she wants, without all the drama and mind games. Wait for her, or seek her out; the choice is yours. But I don't think the girl in question is "it".

    All the best.
  3. Sassygurl

    Sassygurl Member

    I think she is a person who likes to feel wanted, she likes attention. And sounds like she would like you as her back up plan but she is really not going to make you her first choice. I don't know that she is being this way intentionally....but I do believe that if you pursue her its only going to end in further heartache for you when she continues to choose others and keeps you hanging on as back up.
  4. Cherea

    Cherea Senior Member

    Nothing weird about it. I do it all the time.

    I've recently blocked a college friend of mine of oh...I met 'em in 1997. So, over a decade. He started playing this teasing game, "yo let's talk man" and then make himself unavailable at the time we were supposed to hook up.

    Finally, I called him out on it and after he absolutely ignored my concerns; I blocked him. He's just the latest example. Either you commit to a time and a place or you can't be in my life. That's that.
  5. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    She doesn't have a clue what she wants.
  6. This.

    Especially this. Take the advice above, and things will get better. I'm sorry you're having it rough right now.

    Most importantly, never allow yourself to be anyone's second choice. You deserve better.
  7. Glasshopper

    Glasshopper Struggling for sanity

    Oh yes she knows EXACTLY what she is doing.

    You are her back up plan, she does not want you but does not want you with anybody else to keep her option open.

    Best plan of action is to move on.
  8. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    And she's doing it, because she isn't sure about what she wants and needs.

    If she knew what she was looking for in a man, she would be with someone who fit her, instead of being insecure about he relationships, having back-up plans and making other people miserable in the process.


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