What does it mean to be Gay?

Is being Gay more than just same sex attraction? By that I mean do we as Gay men or women have a certain social role or responsiblity to perform. At different times through history Gay people were often regarded as healers or Shamans. They were mentors for the young and had a social niche to fill. At present society is hell-bent to reduce the world to it's component parts, to reduce everything to an equation so that we can extract its value or utility. This leaves the animal and plant kingdom as well as the Earth itself as something to be used up with no regard for its own intrinsic value. We rape the forest because wood has commercial value...does it not have greater value? The Buffalo are long gone because they were a cheap source of food for white men. The sanctity of wildlands is forfeit for the benifit of petroleum companys.

So what the hell does that have to do with being Gay? I don't know if it means anything for other gay people. For me, being Gay comes with a deeper awareness of the world around me...A clearer sense of the plight of others including non-human others. (Yes, in fact, I am an old Hippie.) So it seems natural to me to assume the role of caring for other creatures, for conserving the Earth. I see a special role of nurturing as part of my being Gay.

So, does anyone else see being Gay as more than just attraction to the same sex? It well could be that this is just my own little piece of pathology though I hope not. Any thoughts?

 

Being gay can be an overlay for other drives that we have. I've certainly known my fair share who have gone on to become fahion-police and hair gurus. I don't believe we have a higher sense of civic mindedness nor that we throw ourselves into causes with a passion that is greater than that of our heterosexual counterparts.
So, to answer your question, I'd say being gay is nothing more than an attraction to the same sex.

 

I believe I have this awareness you speak of, although I am a "young" hippy, so maybe its just the meditation, psychedelics, and over-analyzing that I do.

 

My youngest son is Bi , and i have always made it clear to him that it just means he is more open to love , he hasnt the social barriers that straight people have that tell them they can only love the opposite sex , and it also makes him a much more sensitive person , not as quick to hate or judge , because he knows first hand what those things feel like.
Being gay myself , I think gay people are closer to the spirit world than others.

 

for me, being gay means being myself in every aspect of my life, not just in who i fall in love with or become sexually attracted to. it means that i am committed to taking off the masks that society gives us all to wear, and digging deep inside myself to find my true face. my true self. and then simply sharing that with the world.

because i think being gay gives us a valuable opportunity to be free from the cycles of fear, negativity, and repression that so many live by. we, more than many others, have a driving need to explore outside the normal parameters of society, since currently society's normal parameters regularly exclude us.

i have always believed that my being gay was a gift. i went through a period recently of letting go of that last little part of me that said "no, it would be so much easier if i were straight." and for 2 years i was miserable, playing at straight, living inside the box. it was tight and cramped and very grey and colorless. straight people who aren't around out gay people very much are incredibly repressed in their views of sexuality and relationship. no one is happy.

and i get very angry when someone says "it's great that you're gay, but i wouldn't wish that for anyone's child. it's ok if you end up that way, but we're not going to hope for it. that's just cruel." being gay is a gift. it's an opportunity to explore living and loving in a free way, not one based in fear, negativity, violence, and disappointment. i love it that the alternate meaning for the word gay is happy. and that the gay symbol is rainbow colors. i think we are a very important part of bringing the light of truth and beauty into people's lives.

 

I agree with you Yarapario and erzebet.

I think that knowing first hand what it feels like to be discriminated against gives you better powers of empathy.
Which in turn makes you want to help others who are being discriminated against.

Not limiting it to people either, because I agree with you on what you said about the forests and the buffalo too. Maybe it's just something deeper about fairness?
Be fair to people and be fair to the world.

Haha. Yes, young hippie (Y)

Although I'm not saying EVERY gay person feels the same way because THAT would be like stereotyping D:

 

I think being gay is much more complex than attraction to the same sex. I believe emotions play a powerful role. For example, there are many gay monks that live celibate lives. They love men, but don't act on the physical part. Yet they're still gay--even if they don't have sex with men.

--QP

 

It means to be free and open to another kind of love.

 

For me being gay is an insight into the plight of any minority who might be the target of majority distain. It opens a sense of compassion and empathy for people who might need an extra measure of understanding or compassion. It seems logical for me to provide care and nuturing for those who need it. I say this because I remember the pain of being young and gay, feeling alone and scared. Knowing that "my kind" were despised freaks. At that time being gay was a frightening and lonely experience, especially in a rural and conservative community. I was as different as anyone who was a minority only most people couldn't see that I was different. I fell between two worlds, different from white peers who couldn't see that I was gay. Different from people of color because I didn't appear a minority to them either. I defined my role as an "other" by exploring the history of people who fall outside of mainstream societys approval... Shamans, healers, elders, odd or ecentric people, artists, poets or any of a number of other "different people. I came to view being gay as a gift that allows me to travel between worlds, between groups of people.

 

to 'take one for the team' if ya know what I mean.

 

For me, being gay cannot be simply reduced to the same-sex attraction.

Being gay has been a completely liberating experience which thaught me that I actually can challenge many basic and overwhelmingly prevailing societal concepts, and not only live to see another day but prosper in the process.

Putting it very bluntly, I have learned that the conforming to the norms and prevailing societal mores may bring you the approval of your environment. When it came to the tangible values of this 'approval', which would have been bought at a huge price, and which could have been withdrawn without any notice, at any time; it strongly tended towards having a zero value. ("Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend on the permission of the others...")

By that very same token, being a very successful non-conformist who never attempted to actively obtain anybody's approval for either his actions or his behavior, brought me many very tangible benefits that have made my life, so far, a wonderful experience.

When facing a problem of certain magnitude most of my str8 friends ask themselves: "What am I suppposed to do here? What is it that the MAJORITY of people like myself would do here?"

When I face a similar situation, I ask myself: "What is it that I am NOT supposed to do here, and why is it that I am NOT supposed to take that course of action? What is it that the most successful MINORITY (success remains a pre-requisite of the elites), of people would do here?"

Go, figure...

KD

 

I haven't really read many of the other posts, but I don't really see much past it apart from being attracted to the same sex. I mean, I can understand how it may help someone be more tolerant of difference, change and other sexual "deviancies", but one can find that sort of wisdom through other sources. Possibly part of the reason for much of the prejudice experienced by so many gays (if not all, in some form or another), is a result of this artificial separation of the various forms of sexuality and comparing them to the "norm" of heterosexuality.

 

Well besides the fact that homosexuality is defined by one being sexually attracted to the same sex, I would have to agree with those of you who said that being gay can't be simplified down to just that. I don't think I'd say I have a 'responsibility' to anyone or anything because I consider myself gay. However, I'm not fond of labels to begin with. Gay is just another word that all of us give meaning to. Furthermore, I believe that everyone, no matter who they are or what they believe has the ability to love anyone else. I don't find women attractive in general, but if I were to fall in love with one, i would not deny myself that love just because she has a vagina and breasteses. I do feel like I have the ability to love more freely than someone who identifies themselves as straight.

 

It means you like dongs, come on lets not romanticize this too much.

I feel like we rape the earth as well, and feel that reducing everything down to an equation is a terrible thing just the same. It means your a conscious person. It's not because touching dongs is bestowing upon you some greater clarity of insight. I mean is this another one of those tricks that old gay dudes play on impressionable young dudes "here suck this dong and it'll make you more aware and give you more clarity on reality". You know this ain't ancient greece, that system of paying for tutelage is long gone! Albeit Aleister Crowley did say that activity with another dudes dong is a great way to break down psychological barriers for the attainment of better spiritual understanding... So... I'm still not doing it. I mean one thing leads to another and then 40 years down the rode I have to wear a diaper to keep my anus from turning inside out. I've managed to eat really well for the whole past month and not strain at all when defecating and it seems like my situation is improving. But still that was enough of a scare to keep me outta there forever. And why did you lock my thread I wanted to report back. Seriously I'm not no god damn christian, that was a serious thread, there was serious anal problems and I was seriously disturbed about all things gay at the time. Although I've calmed down a bit since.

However, being conscious might be intertwined with liking dongs because if you like dongs, then society will send you hate more readily, thus breaking the illusion of society, allowing you to see clearer. So I would assume that all homosexuals are much more conscious people aware of the real truth of our society because there somewhat more outcast from it. But it's not like you touching dongs is somehow getting you closer to greater awareness. There is no magical energy of awareness that comes from the dong. Gay is just liking dongs as dongs, for being dongs.

And Shamans are not gay. Were did you get that from. And healers? No, where did you get that from? Shaman and healers are not intrinsically intertwined with gay. Yes, shamans and healers may have had the illusion of the culture break down for them just in the same way it could for gay people, but that doesn't mean there gay. Many non-gay people can see through the illusion.

And no it's not just enjoying the company of dudes, cause I enjoy the company of dudes as well and I don't touch their dong.

 

Sorry, but the truth is in the history books. And those books were written by scholars: They did the research. In Native American cultures, being homosexual was not a bad thing. It was looked upon as something spiritual. If an individual had both male and female qualities -- it was something like a rare gift. Not a curse. And such a person was considered a shaman by his tribe.

--QP

 

sociology.

 

No fucking way. Shaman does not equal gay!

I'm sure some homosexuals are shamans, and some shamans are homosexuals. But shamanism and homosexuality are not inherently linked.

 

god damnit this appears to be somewhat true

you seriously just fucked up my whole life

Ive identified so much with shamanism and native american spirituality my whole life and making artwork and decorating things. And often thought of my societal role as being a shaman, and often felt that I am equal parts male and female. AND NOW I FIND OUT that these damn 'two-spirit' (male-female spirits in the same body) native americans were the artisans of the village and the most revered shaman and took the role of being homosexual.

the two spirit role in the native american tribes describe me perfectly

BUT I dont wanna bang men, damnit, you just collapsed my entire spiritual understanding, MY ROLE IS INTERTWINED WITH BANGING DUDES??!?! WTF

I wont accept this. That was the past and does not apply to modern world.

Or are all the books written on this subjuect and perpetuating this subject written by BGLT community people? This could just be them cherry picking facts to make it seem like gays held some important role in ancient society. This is very possible. I mean most scholars were gay werent they??!

 

I found this book about native americans and homosexuality and have been reading it
http://books.google.com/books?id=1h...Q6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=homosexual shaman&f=false


and I came across this snippet



what the fuck. Seriously, what the fuck.

This book cannot be fucking true.

 

Pochikuen when I first read some of your posts from today I was close to being pissed off. Pissed because you claim to hate sexuality and yet continue to post in a gay forum. Pissed because you claimed that Shamans, Healers, Elders, Brujos have no connection to gay people. I decided to wait till after work to respond and I'm glad that I did. To be as damned maddening as you are on the forum your human needs still come through. I wish we could sit down and talk face to face. I'd like to help you confront some of the things that seem to frustrate you the most. In my original post on being gay I made no mention about sex organs or sexual connections. Being gay, to me, is far greater than the actual sex acts that are considered "Gay". I posted because I wanted to hear from others if they viewed their sexual identity the same way I do. Some do, some don't, good information for me. I too have had a lifetime of interest in Shamans, Healers and Elders. To that end I have lived in the Amazon Jungle in Peru to learn from Shamans and Healers. I have taken part in ceremonies, sweat lodges and rituals with Native Americans to gain more knowledge for myself and about myself. You're right, not all Shamans are gay...but lots are. I could never be a Shaman, I didn't grow up under the tutelage of such a healer. I don't know the plant medicines, the spiritual connections that Shamans do. I am a healer though. I have pursued that throughout my life, both through formal education and apprenticing through older healers. Now that I am old, I refer to myself as an Elder. I value that status and I continue to learn more about it. I have adopted seven boys and raised more than that. My two youngest are from the Amazon Jungle, one boy is becoming a Shaman, graduating as a nurse next spring, he already knows many of the plants medicines. The youngest is a warrior who is learning what battles to fight. I learn from every encounter with Earths children, human, animal, plant or stone.

Being Gay has set me apart from others whether I wanted to be set apart or not. Being "apart" has given me a perspective I would not have otherwise gained. It fueled my curiosoty about the world around me...Pushed me to seek answers in different places, lead me to the path of a healer.

You need to find a healer for yourself. You need to figure out why you are at war with sexuality. You need to find your own definition of self. Relax and ignore the labels, the words, just find your spirit and see where it's going.

We are not your enemy here, we are your friends... the enemy is within you. Listen without your defenses being up, there is much to learn.