What do you want to do?

Discussion in 'Hippies' started by rebubla72, May 28, 2007.

  1. rebubla72

    rebubla72 Member

    On 16May of this year i was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer and started going through radiation this past week. it has reallt gotten me thinking that in my life i haven't reallt lived the way i wanted. don't get me wrong i've always tried to be kind and compassionate and live in a responsible way but now i'm really trying to think of the things i want to do with the rest of my life. the doctors won't tell me what stage the cancer is just that radiaition is my best shot. i'm NOT giving up & and i'm not going to die if i have any say so. i know i want to go back to school and finish my degree in biology. i know i want to work in a field where i can make a difference. beyond that i'm pretty lost. i'm also raising a really cool 10 year old son. has anyone else had an ah-ha moment that made them shake their head and say damn i really need to do something? peace.
  2. knotdirty

    knotdirty Over the Rainbow

    Yep. The last year of my life was pretty wasted...

    Cancer really gives you that ah-ha...whether it's firsthand or somebody you love, or just somebody you meet. My aunt has stage 4 cancer that started in her ovaries and has now spread through her entire body. It was a wakeup call for me. She was wasting away due to meth before they found the cancer...started REALLY living her life for a while, then she got really sick, but stayed positive. She kept saying "I want to go back to school and get a degree when all of this is taken care of." while the doctors were telling her she had 1 month to live. That was in November. :)

    Unfortunately, the cancer's inoperable and they stopped chemo...and she's spending her last days back on meth. I think she gave up. :( I'm really happy to hear that you plan on LIVING your life!

    Which has made me realize that life is short and it'll be wasted no matter what if I don't do something. It's crazy, I never realized before how much of our lives are wasted...drama, fighting, anger, all of these possessions...I'm really sensitive to it all now. What is all of that worth? Nothing. It's silliness.

    Love vibes, hon...I know you'll kick this thing in the ass, and kick ass at life. A long life, at that.
  3. Stay strong rebubla72! That is the only thing you can do. Don't give up on life because that is the only thing you got. I hope you make your difference in the world; than perhaps it might be a bit of a better place . :)

    I don't know your experience personally, however perhaps you should get another opinion. One doctor says one thing; another may say something contradictory. I was given medication by one doctor and than went to another doctor who asked me whether he could throw my medication away, because what I was prescribed was a terrible drug he would never even think of prescribing to anyone.

    Live every day like it would be your last. Last year I thought that my life would be over shortly. I’m still alive. Until that changes, every day is a gift, even if it may be ugly. As long as the sun comes up day after day; things are alright.

    Sometimes the desire to live is enough to get us through the hardships so that in the end we could keep on living. Don’t ever give up; it’s mind over matter.

    Stay well, peace. :)

    "Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
    Elie Wiesel
    " That quote really made me think. While it is true that neutrality helps the tormentor, sometimes perhaps it may be better not to pick sides and get involved. (if picking a side will make things worse.)
  4. Lady Neko

    Lady Neko Member

    yes live and love life as much as you can. after i have gone through many things i now try to do this. no matter what is happening in the world i know there are beautiful people like yourselves spreading love and peace. i know like what tresbizzare says that there are hardships and to never give up and i agree with him solely. i almost gave up but something inside me told me to push through and i did. i was to give you lots of *hugs* and lots of support rebubla. you are a beautiful person. lots of love sister.
  5. sanja_serbia

    sanja_serbia Senior Member

    Last year my friend got hurt and he was diagnosed consecutive quadriplegia so he stayed immovable...He's 18, great student, waterpollo player and a really great guy and his whole life and the future he planned broke in pieces in that one second...Now we're still trying to help him by collecting money for his operations, but there's no hope that he'll walk again...

    His misfortune made me live every day as it's the last I have, trying not to miss anything and take every chance I get because maybe I'll never get it again...
    Never give up, rebubla, stay positive, my friend, spend as much time as you can with your son, do what you wanna do, we all love you and support you!...
  6. airotciv

    airotciv Slowly Going Sane

    Rebubla, sooo sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Watch lots of comedy, laugh, laugh, laugh. It's good for the soul, not to mention the immune system. [​IMG]
  7. pianoperson60

    pianoperson60 Senior Member

    I have a close family friend who was diagnosed with lieukemia(spelling? sorry my english spelling/grammar can sometimes horrible after speaking so much gemran this past year) when I was much younger, and I remember her strong spirits and motivation...she pulled through it, and its been more than ten years since she had it, and shes healthy and living it up.

    i admire your optimism, and your hope: believe me, those two things are the only things that will save you! keep on loving, have faith, keep hoping, start fresh, question all your motivations and desires in life, create energy, dance, you know what I mean!

    I really wish you the best of luck, and send my good vibes to you. youve learnt something already from this experience youre going trhough, so put it to the test: go live your life, do those things you wanna do, take those scary chances, take that leap!
  8. rebubla72

    rebubla72 Member

    hugs hugs hugs to everybody!!! i'm not going to let this beat me!! they won't tell me what stage i am -i don't know of this is good or bad. so i go to radiation treatments everyday & eat healthy things and live like it's my last day every day. i look in my sons' eyes and know no matter what i made a difference. i'm not going to give up. you all are wonderful!!!
  9. you better beat it! my uncle died of small cell lung cancer at 44 last february. I don't think it was much of a wake up call for me though, i've always lived my life the way i wanted too. Maybe it has subconciously helped me though, because im giving up everything thats familiar to me next year to go to a new school where i will be able to better my dancing which will help my future career tremendously.
  10. rebubla72

    rebubla72 Member

    i did things the way i thought i wanted to when i was in highschool - i bucked the system for all it was worth. i still live on the fringes of society. i've never wanted the picketfence and SUV - not thet there's anything wrong with that if that's your deal. just always be true to yourself and stick to what you believe in. good luck in all that you do!!! peace.
  11. Faye

    Faye Member

    I don't know what your spritual beliefs are, rebubla but I will send out positive vibrations into the univerise and pray for your quick recovery. My mom was diagonsed with stage 1 bladder cancer. They know that she got it from smoking cigs. And I smoke cigs which I know isn't go but I like smoking. I think I should switch to the chemical free kind of cigs or quit. So far, the cancer is slow growing in my mom's case which is blessing. The treatment which requires that they put a little bit of the TB vaccine in her bladder to make her pee out the cancer is working. And most people sruvive bladder cancer. I hope that your cancer isn't too serious. As far as going back to school go for you do well and help the world. My mom's illness was a wake up call for me it has made me work hard and persue my musical talents and all artistic mediums that I enjoy as well as being free and easy living. I also spend more time with my mom. Good luck in all you. And remember that postivity really helps when fighting and hopefully beating cancer!
  12. Forget me not

    Forget me not Member

    I just want to say you rock! Don't give up, you're right to not let this beat you; With this attitude I can assure you that it won't beat you. Also, I would like to add that by raising a ten year old son you have accomplished more than most people ever can hope to. If you're an inspiration to people on the hipforums (which you are) then there is no doubt in your being an inspiration to him.
    Hats off to you my friend. If I ever gain even half the courage and determination that you have I will consider myself very, very lucky.
    Peace to you and all your kind.
  13. VegOut024

    VegOut024 Member

    Sorry to hear about it, but I'm sure you'll kick this thing's cancerous ass. Live you're life to the fullest even though I'm sure you'll beat this, because once you do get done with the cancer, you'll have a new take on life.

    Peace out, and I sincerely wish you the best
  14. Box Of Rain

    Box Of Rain Member

    i really do wish the best for you.

    just keep your chin up and don't let it take over your life.
    you can overcome anything, just don't live in fear of dying.
    your a strong and beautiful person :)

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