what do you think of my poem?

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Carlfloydfan, Jan 23, 2005.

  1. Carlfloydfan

    Carlfloydfan Travel lover

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    Someday I'll write something like this to someone, till that day I'll just write for fun. Now it's not my best one, I will post better ones soon:

    Your presence sends my heart into flight
    as past girls who made me cry
    become a distant memory.
    Your ability to heal
    what some had wounded
    astounds me and leaves me speechless.
    No words could ever justify
    your beauty, grace and intelligence,
    topped only by your caring ways.
    The ability to change one person
    the way you have changed me
    can not be expressed,
    in just one lifetime.
  2. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

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    I like it. I wrote a poem like that once, you know for someone I hadn't met yet. Tell me if you like this one, if you do you can use it one day if it comes in use for you.

    A Dream To Dream

    Look deep into my eyes,
    And know that I'm for real,
    Look closely and see my intentions,
    Your heart I want to steal.

    Put your heart in the palm of my hand,
    Let me show you how much I care,
    Allow me to prove that my love is true,
    I promise I'll always be there.

    May I run my fingers through your hair,
    May I feel the softness of your cheek,
    May I enter your mind and soul,
    May I render you defenseless and weak?

    I can love you the way you want,
    Trust me with all your heart,
    Believe me when I tell you,
    My heart aches when we're apart.

    Can you feel the power of my simple words,
    Reaching out to fulfill your desires,
    Can you feel the warmth and passion inside,
    As your heart sets afire?

    The skipping of your heart beat,
    The tingle in your spine,
    Examples of feelings I want you to feel,
    And I promise you, if you're mine.

    This is just a vision of love,
    So much still left unseen,
    All I ask is one opportunity,
    Let me show you what I mean.

    Let me feel your body close to me,
    Let me hold you in my arms,
    Feel my gentle touch of security,
    Let me keep you safe from harm.

    May I whisper to you softly,
    May I say what's on my mind,
    May I take this moment to convince you,
    That my love will grow with time?

    Your smile takes my breath away,
    You're worth more than silver and gold,
    Your hands are so smooth and precious,
    Too perfect to kiss and hold.

    Your eyes are warm and inviting,
    A future seen with just one glance,
    We can experience happiness for eternity,
    If we only take the chance.

    Peace and love.
  3. Carlfloydfan

    Carlfloydfan Travel lover

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    that was beautiful! Thanks
  4. Burbot

    Burbot Dig my burdei

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    i love it carlfloydfan
  5. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    i love both of them. very inspirational.
  6. Carlfloydfan

    Carlfloydfan Travel lover

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    Thanks for the kind words!

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