What do you say when

Your obviously overweight friend sais (while you're doing her hair) "Can you believe my mom sais i'm overweight"?

I just....I didn't know what to say because she's a bigger girl so I just said.

"No way?.... That was pretty mean."

I might have said something like oh you're not.


But if I just said

"Ya, you are"
That would be jerkish.

Wouldn't it?
Like i've gained some weight
but my friends are quite a bit bigger then me
(the ones I chill with the most)

How do you go about that....\


and not even these type of situations, how do you in general tell a friend something they probably don't want to hear
or do you just not say things to prevent them from being hurt

 

"Do you think your mom is doing you any favors by telling you that you're thin?"

Does your friend even acknowledge that she's overweight? She doesn't need more enablers.

 

"ya, you are"
perfect

 

look at the mirror mate

 

Hello,

well, stating that someone is overweighted is neutral, isn't it? One don't say things like you are fat, you are ugly etc. to people.

I would not do that. Maybe I would paraphrase the term overweighted.

Depends on the overall situation, on your friend's mood, on the tone of your voice and much more.

Regards
Gyro

 

Its not illegal to be overweight. Its a little harsh coming from her mum. Thats going to stick, and probably why she mentioned it.

 

That's a tough one. Overweight folks --even grossly overweight ones can somehow deceive themselves as to the state of their weight. I once looked in a full length mirror and I could see that I was losing what I considered "a man shape" and I took measures to correct that immediately. Maybe you could say something like "well,there's only one way to tell FOR YOURSELF. Stand in front of a full length mirror without clothing and see what YOU think. Never mind what anyone else thinks.". Don't know if it would be insensitive or not, but it's pretty hard to see what "you " want to see when confronted with evidence to the contrary. Hope this helps.

 

you should tell her she is not overweight, simply allergic to junk food

 

you should always be honest with your friends

 

Perhaps she said "can you believe. . ." because it was unbelievable to her that her mother said it. . .like maybe her mother is twice as overweight.? I think your response was perfect. What may be obvious to you might not be to others.

Other responses that work are: "Why'd she say that?" "How'd that make you feel?"

 

Very difficult situation.

I might have said "were you fighting?" or something.

I try not to talk about weight to my overweight friends because I am thin without trying and anything I say would just be insulting. They know the way to the gym if they want to use it.

 

To be perfectly honest, I don't think I could be friends with someone like that. I've been friends with overweight people, just not with people in denial.

I would probably say nothing and proceed to distance myself until the friendship was no more. If pressed, I would tell her what I said above. Harsh, but true.

Honesty is very important to friendship, in my book.

Edit: I probably wouldn't even find myself in that situation, to begin with.

 

Same here

If I was in that situation I would probably have just mumbled something about 'that's too bad' and then changed the subject. But I am a coward. Maybe you could have asked 'Do you think you are overweight?" or something... I don't know. I'm not good with confrontations of any kind.

 

i'd grab a double handful of fat and give them that look

you know that look where you convey this thought - "yea, come on now...you're a fatty"

 

You could've just deflected it and said something like "man, I wish I could put on some weight. I'm too skinny". lol

 

you tell her that she is. I was friends with this one girl that was 5' 228 lbs and swore she was 140. One day she told me we were the same body type so she could wear my clothes, i was like yahhh noooo mannn you can't do this to my stuff.
be honestttt

 

being friends doesn't mean you only say nice things to each other

beings friends means you care about the person enough to tell them something when they need to hear it, not when they want to hear it.

tell her she is overweight, and it's ok, and if she wants help losing weight ever she can count on you for help.

 

honesty is a quality to be appreciated. i dont consider anyone a friend unless i feel that we can be honest with each other

 

What's your bank account number?

 

We could say that moms intent was not mean spirited, insensitive perhaps.