what do you do...

...when you've wanted something for years and then you fuck shit up and might not be allowed to go back?

 

That would really suck..

Try to plan a way back... what was it?

 

stop. lick your wounds; then move on.
i'm sorry to hear you may have fuck up something really good, and you may not be able to fix it.
i have fuck up some good things in my life that, i could not repair... IT HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER TOO!
i did what i stated above and, i also learned from my mistake.
life can be one hell of a bitch at times.

 

More info, please. I need details

 

I know the feeling of total despair when something totally fucks over, dude i hope for you that you can turns things around good luck