What are your thoughts on marriage?

Is it a good thing?

Should marriage be abolished?

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days?

Would you want kids?

What are some good reasons for divorce?

 

Is it a good thing? sometimes.

Should marriage be abolished? no.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? people rushing into marriage for the wrong reasons, people not putting enough work into their relationships.

Would you want kids? absolutely, when im mature enough.

What are some good reasons for divorce? infidelity, lies, etc.

 

Is it a good thing? If both people are truly in love and realise exactly what it means to them.
Should marriage be abolished? No.
Why the divorce rate? People don't communicate, people believe that they are truly in love when they are just monogamous fuckbuddies, we live in a disposable society, people are selfish and treasure their own satisfaction over their partners.
Would I want kids? Got one who I truly adore.
What are some good reasons for divorce? Infidelity, lies, violence, lack of trust.

 

Is it a good thing? sometimes~for some people

Should marriage be abolished? guess not

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? jumped marraige to soon & to easy to walk away instead of trying to work it out

Would you want kids? already have 7

What are some good reasons for divorce? when spouse would rather lift a hand to slap u around instead of lifting a hand to help around the house.

 

Is it a good thing? It can be~but it can also be a nightmare

Should marriage be abolished? No

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? Because people think marriage is easy until they are there and then suddenly it is something you have to work really hard at for the entire marriage....and learn the meaning of compromising!

Would you want kids? I have 2 and that is enough (cant have more by choice)

What are some good reasons for divorce? The marriage isnt working, infidelity, spousal abuse, addictions, etc.

 

Is it a good thing? Definitely. I may be going through a divorce, but I hope to get married again someday. May not be a traditional "church with priest change name" marriage, but it's a marriage nonetheless. Committing your heart to one individual for as long as you love each other is a wonderful gesture to make.

Should marriage be abolished? Why? There are plenty of people who are quite happy with their marriage and families. There's no reason to abolish it.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? It's too easy to get a divorce nowadays. People get pissed off for one little thing and it's "I don't need you anymore, I'm leaving." People are much more casual about divorce nowadays.

Would you want kids? I didn't have kids in this marriage, and I'm damn glad of it, becuase if I did have children, I would've stayed with him, I know. I think he even tried to get me pregnant just before I left, but I wouldn't let him.

What are some good reasons for divorce? Abuse, neglect, lack of love, mistrust. My husband lied to me constantly about everything and anything. I also fell out of love with him. He just isn't the person I wanted to spend my life with anymore.

 

Is it a good thing? For some people, yes. I believe it's definitely a good thing when kids are involved. For my soon-to-be ex-wife, no, I don't think she should ever be married. It makes her feel too trapped. She can't compromise on her lifestyle, and I don't think any self-respecting man will ever put up with the entourage of male friends she always keeps hanging around, the eight to twelve animals she likes to have running through the house, and her "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, too" attitude. As for me, I haven't decided if it's a good thing or not. I've only been married once, and it only lasted a few years. Right now, I'd say if I met someone much younger who wanted to have kids with me, I'd do it again. Otherwise, no.

Should marriage be abolished? Hell, no. Although I would say, if they're not going to give gay couples the same tax perks and other Man's World advantages straight people have, at least in the form of civil unions, then maybe they should get the government out of the marriage business completely, abolish marriage licenses, not give anyone any tax advantages, and leave marriage as a purely spiritual/religious institution, where it belongs.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? Radical individualism, laziness, culturally-approved self-centeredness, and the fact that mass media keeps reminding everyone that there's a smorgasbord out there.

Would you want kids? Maybe. With the right woman. However, after almost 30 years of being sexually active and having been with at least 30 different women, I should add that I wouldn't have wanted any of them to be the mother of my hypothetical children. That's my own fault. I'm attracted to women who are a little on the wild side, and I've paid a price for that.

What are some good reasons for divorce? When trust, sexual fidelity, and respect are gone, it's over.

 

Is it a good thing? I am on the fence on this one. People don't need a piece of paper and/or a priest's blessing to love each other ... and the tax advantage is rather ridiculous.

Should it be abolished? I think the advantages given to married couples should be abolished ... or else given to all "common law" couples as well.

Why the high divorce rate? Shattered illusions. People get married too young for the wrong reasons. I think people ought to "shop around" before they marry (not necesarily even sexually, though I think that is a good idea too) -- to make sure they know themselves and what they want.
Too many people rush into marriage because they want a guarantee ... or think marriage is a fairy tale of happiness, and that people who marry will automatically know how to get along ... or believe the other person will change.

Would I want kids? I would not want to have children if I were in any type of long-term relationship. Too often children are used as levers, especially if the partnership dissolves, and the simple situation of raising a child can cause such a dissolution. I have seen too many children in that situation (myself included) to want to put another child through it.
Besides ... there are so many unwanted children on earth right now, why make more babies when there are perfectly good ones who need homes?!

What are good reasons for divorce? Abuse or fear of any sort. Usually fear results from mistrust, which often stems from lack of communication, and which cyclically can cause lack of communication. That being said, sometimes just "talking it out" cannot recify the problem ... whereupon it is time to walk away.

 

Is it a good thing? Absolutely. But it's not for everyone. Not to mention, you don't absolutely have to have a piece of paper proving your love and dedication towards each other. I know a couple who have been together for years, never married, and they're more loving and happier than most married people. In my mind, marriage is just a legal contract that is decorated by a fancy wedding.

Should marriage be abolished? No, because it's right for some people. I do plan on marrying one day, even with my strong beliefs on marriage. It's still something I want to do.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? People rush into marriage carelessly, people change over time and some can't handle those changes, abuse has become something women fight back about now, infidelity...the list goes on and on. Marriage isn't taken nearly as seriously as it should be anymore and it's become a huge joke. Just look at Hollywood.

Would you want kids? Eventually, when I am more mature, have settled down more, and am financially stable. Right now, I'd gladly take the responsibility of having a child, but I want to make sure my kids never want for anything (food, shelter, warmth...I'm not raising materialistic children, heh).

What are some good reasons for divorce? Lack of trust, infidelity, abuse...divorce isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just because people make mistakes doesn't mean we should do away with the one thing that can fix the mistake

 

I dont think so.

Yes the divorce rate is at 65% as of now.

Yes I do want kids.

Theres to many reasons to divorce to list them all,but some good reasons to divorce a person is if they cause you or your family physical or mental harm,if they are cheating.

In my eyes marriage is only used for legal benifits,but thats just my opinion.To me all I see it as a peice of paper,you can be married to someone and they can still cheat on you,they can still beat you,they can still leave you,to many people think that getting married to the person is like fixing their problems.People think that being married to their husband or wife will stop them from cheating on them or they think it will stop them from leaving them and trap them by being married,some people think that once they get married they will "change" but in almost all cases they dont.Alot of people get married for the wrong reasons.To some people getting married to their partner is scared and an honor and those people have the right idea .But this is all only my opinion and i dont force it on anyone.

 

What a narrow view on what is a serious, emotional and loving commitment to each other. If you love each other and want to spend your life with each other (for how ever long doesnt matter) then theres nothing wrong with getting married. Everything eles is irrelevent. Im on my second marriage, the first was crap (it happens), the second is great. Its how those concerned feel about it that counts. And theres no law which says you have to marry!

 

Is it a good thing? Yes, but marriage is obviously not for everyone.

Should marriage be abolished? No--anyone who wants to marry should be able to.

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? People get married for the wrong reasons (such as an unplanned pregnancy or family pressure), or they see how hard it can be to keep a marriage together and punk out.

Would you want kids? I do. I have names picked out too.

What are some good reasons for divorce? Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, infidelity.

 

marriage is very important it shows that you are together with that person for life..if you find the right person and you love them so much, then you can get married because you will know you are gonna be together forever...i sound so cheesy serously lol.

 

Yeah, you do sound cheesy, kid, because absolutely nothing you posted is true.

Marriage can be a good thing, don't get me wrong, but unfortunately it isn't a guarantee and does not mean "together for life" by any stretch of the imagination. There's no "knowing" about the "forever" part ... sorry dude. :&

 

ok well marriage has its own different meanings for everyone...obviously you dont agree with me. I think your concept of marriage is fucked up and not true.

 

Sorry about that. let me try to clear this up.
I think that your view is WRONG, as in incorrect, in the sense that it's optimistic, it's idealistic, it's what marriage SHOULD be -- not how it IS. But it's RIGHT, as in GOOD, for precisely that reason -- it is the ideal.
I strongly believe that my view is regretfully CORRECT, in terms of realism for modern society -- but WRONG because that's a damn shame.

(Oh yeah, by the way -- I know this post is kind of arrogant ... but of all the hundreds of marriages I have seen firsthand or heard about secondhand, none of them have fit the ideal. Hence I believe wholeheartedly that the ideal view of marriage is just that -- an ideal, not real. Which is a shame, and something ought to be done about it.)

 

I'm not good at *just* answering questions, so I'll just give a few opinions.

Of course I think marriage is a "good" thing - if I didn't, I wouldn't be married. I think too many people (especially young couples) go into it with the idea that, "If it doesn't work, we can just get a divorce" and that's VERY wrong. To my husband and me, divorce is NOT an option - especially since we do plan to have kids together. Obviously, we went into it with the idea that we ARE the ones for each-other, forever, and divorce would never be an option. If we can get married, especially with financial problems and other things standing in our way, we can work through anything. We love each-other enough.

And to me, there is almost NO good reason for divorce. I say almost, because of course there's always going to be a good enough reason when a couple wants a divorce. But in MY mind, a good reason for divorce would be, say, if one of us had serious issues that we absolutely could NOT work out (if he kept cheating on me and just refused to stop, or vice versa... or if one of us had serious psychological problems to the point that we couldn't deal with a relationship beyond close friendship) ... or if, 10 years or so down the road, one of us went "Okay, I have something to tell you..." and said that they were gay or something, and were just scared to come out (we've already established our places in the relationship and our sexual orientations well enough that it WON'T become a problem later on). Y'know, stuff like that. Divorcing over a couple little arguments or something is totally out of the question, though. Marriage is like an agreement to compromise, too.

 

Just to kinda clear up the argument a bit... trust me here, I'm married...

It's kind of an agreement between two people. "Okay, now that we've gotten REALLY good at fighting and still sticking around, I think we're ready."
No, serious. Not to say that married couples fight all the time, we certainly don't... but we sure are good at it, when we do.

 

Is it a good thing? If done in love it is a beautiful thing

Should marriage be abolished? Choice should not be taken from people

Why do you think the Divorce rate is so high these days? People mistake attatchment, passion and co-dependence for love then sign a contract binding them to these things. Of course people want out.

Would you want kids? Yes

What are some good reasons for divorce? Once again, choice lies in the individual. You cant force people to stay together.

 

Well said, Echo.

That's exactly why I have such a cynical view of marriage. What most people consider "love" is not love, and I think a good half or maybe even three-quarters of the marriages today are born of this pseudo-love that quickly sours.

It's not realistic to expect people who don't really love each other, to stay together. (Of course, some people who really DO love each other, can't stay together either, but that's a different thread altogether.) That is why: