What Are Your Thoughts About This?

I was at this event last night. It was a fundraiser dinner/auction for a women's homeless shelter (great cause). I should say that I hate doing shit like this and only do it to support the various causes. But last night kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. It was at the country club and you can imagine who all was there. At our table was the president of a large bank and his wife, the president of a very large chain of grocery stores and his wife, me and my wife and a good friend of mine and his wife...whose business was one of the sponsors of the event. So that's the kind of place this was and I was ready to leave as soon as we got there.

As we were walking around, mingling (meaning my wife mingling) we were introduced to a few ladies who clearly were not people you would expect to be there but....I thought....hey...good for them. Three black ladies and one not very well-dressed, obese white lady (in fact...the only black people and obese person there) I only point that out because if you were there you probably might have noticed. So they were seated all the way at the back behind a glass wall outside of the rest to the dinner (a couple of other tables were there also...to be fair)

So here is where I feel something was kind of fucked up. We have the dinner and some of the auction and then those ladies took the stage one by one and spoke. All but one seemed fairly uncomfortable. They talked about how the shelter helped them and thanked all of the people. One talked about how she was very close to earning her GED and might get her kids back. I'm sure they were genuinely grateful and nobody forced them to be there but something just seemed so fucked up to me about that. Even tonight...it kind of still bugs me because I just can't put my finger on it. I don't think anyone was judging them or anything like that. I just felt like it was kind of inappropriate and possibly even humiliating for them. When we left, we and my buddy and his wife went to another place and it came up in conversation. They felt the same way. The ladies were grateful and being helped, the people were happy to help and yet....something just seems really fucked up about the way that happened. I can't say they were exploited or taken advantage of but in a way it kind of feels like they were. Like....go up there and tell all the wealthy white people how much they're helping you.

Am I out of line in my thoughts about this? I'm not the only one who thought that. My buddy was a sponsor and he thought it wasn't tasteful or respectful to those ladies.

 

Maybe they just felt the need to make a public thank you appreciation talk somewhat, so it was ful filling some need they had? I don't know.
The haves and have nots.....some people just had some better breaks than others in some cases......some worked harder and some had it handed to them.....does not make a human being, though, necassarily......what makes that is the soul within......rich or poor.....

 

Yeah, it does seem kind of fucked up. Almost like they were being used as the brunt of a cruel joke disguised as something well-intended.

 

That's kind of how it seemed. I don't think anyone intentionally meant it to be that way but here are the "haves" bidding hundreds of dollars on cakes, pies and other dessert dishes (that was part of the auction)....like...I think the cheapest one was a pumpkin pie that went for $165...many of the others were much more expensive. Then you have the ladies who could not even imagine bidding $300+ for a fucking small cake. That's huge, huge money to them.

Maybe part of my issue is that I grew up fairly poor and depending on a lot of the same things as those ladies depend on so I have a lot of compassion for them and then I'm sitting at my place in life now and watching what happened. But I guess at least they got to be there and have the same food and drinks as everyone else and maybe they really enjoyed that experience.

 

The testimony is to advertise the cause. Like commercials with hungry kids that claim you can feed a child on pennies a day etc...

I don't know that promoting charities is essentially demeaning but the fact that charity needs promotion points to a level of essential disinterest.

 

What a long post!

 

i with thedope. seems like a way to help raise money for the shelter...show off some of the people that it has helped.

i don't deny that it probably felt really weird though. but maybe that's because you felt bad for those ladies, or the fact that you didn't feel comfortable in that place around all the rich, snoody people to begin with.

 

When I read a long post that doesn't interest me very much....I mostly just skim over it and then don't post something notifying others that it's a long post. I kind of leave it up to them to decide because it makes me feel good to have faith in humanity. But thanks for dedicating your time to my thread.

 

I might have been a little heavy-handed with that last post.

 

it doesnt sound much worse than the parade of retards on jerry lewis telethon...

or all the sick kids on the sick kids telethon/fundraising material

 

i don't think so. or maybe i think piaf could use a heavy (back) hand to the mouth sometimes

 

I struggle to read these as well XD

No offense or nothing, just I'm tryin' to keep whatever youth I can ya know? XD

 

I read this post with interest.

I understand what you were talking about...and even though I doubt anybody seriously pressured the ladies to talk, I bet someone told them "it would be So Nice To THANK those who helped you! Don't you and you and you want to do that?!?" Too bad the emoticon is gone now.

A film/video would have worked just as well and wouldn't have left as bad a taste in your mouth, probably. At least the ladies wouldn't have been there with their noses rubbed in the fact of how (very) "different" they are from those that have helped them. I tried to come up with a nicer way to state that, but nothing would come that was as effective.

Those commercials that advertise feeding the children for cents a day or help out the abused animals for just next to nothing make me just damn sick to my stomach, and I would literally NEVER give a penny to any organization that is behind those commercials. It seems to exploit those in need AND the people that would want to help.

 

My main thought was why were they made to sit in Siberia behind a wall....like some leppars......?
Really?

 

i always find that kind of thing a bit awkward and kind of defeating the point too. like, "we helped you, so now would you do us a favor and go demean yourself for us?"

but, it's pretty common at that sort of event i think.

 

In all fairness, I can't really say why they were seated there or if they were seated there. They may have seated themselves there and there were a couple of other tables there too. The seating was kind of odd because it looked like people mostly sat where they wanted to but my friend "bought" a whole table and then the other two couples were seated with us. Shit...I don't know what the hell was going on with that.

 

If the rich wanted to poke fun im sure they could have bought a clown. IMO the ladies showed up, To assure the rich people and yourself, That the money is going to good use. They are a product of a great outcome thanks to you and the others who have helped.
Just keeping the doors open and money coming in is thanks enough, But they went out of their way to show they took advantage and are not living in the gutter milking the system. They are doing the best they can with what they have, And most likely felt honored to speak in front of the rich people, Not all are good public speakers, But she did her best.
Id actually feel better after seeing/hearing their thoughts and more of a reason to donate to them in a blink of an eye. Took balls, Or big camel toes, To get up and do what they did, In front of a crowd they know is six and seven figures deep!

 

Sometimes, when I travel to odd locations, I offer to help in the kitchen. Even if I just chop onions. What's funny is when one of my coworkers sees me. I was trimming lamb chops in Turkey when my supervisor walked by and did a double-take. I was there to explain equipment maintenance to a bunch of oil drillers. But I like being able to say I have worked in kitchens around the planet. I'm not a chef, barely a certified cook. A life I left behind 20 years or so ago. I never stopped cooking though.

 

I agree. There can be something rather fucked up about this "look how good we are" type charity thing.
1stly these women were being treated like freaks and clearly being demeaned.

I don't like the way charity fundraising is now a lucrative career for some. Nor do I like the "lets flaunt my wealth for charity - aren't I generous and smart" type shit.

I remember watching a TV programme about this newly rich dotcom guy, worth several 100m. Anyway he reckoned that the taxes should be cut to as close to ZERO as possible, so "wonderful people" like him could spend money better thro their so called charities. Obviously a disgusting form of narcissism from him, shouting "look at me".

To me, charity should be about people doing things NOT for the publicity, and NOT as part of some pr stunt.
Ironically, its these so called socialites that are the cause of the need for so many charities in the 1st place. Because of their parasitic, destructive and dishonest tendencies. It all reminds me of nuts like Leona Helmsley, Paris Hilton, "Prince" Charles and Diana Spencer, and a whole load of other English upper class pricks who never did a days honest work in their lives.

 

It was probably uncomfortable for people on both sides.

It would be a great thing if it lead to more interaction between the two extremes.

After all, we're all just people and dividing ourselves by class is a huge mistake, in my opinion.