What are the major hurdles with transitioning?

Discussion in 'Transexual and Transgender' started by secretasianman, Jun 24, 2020.

  1. secretasianman

    secretasianman Members

    1. I feel like coming out to friends and family is the first hurdle.
    2. The second hurdle, at least for me, is the financial part.
    3. Another hurdle is what I want at the end of my transition. For example, I don't want surgery done on my body, only facial surgery (and throat). I'm not ashamed with the nether regions I already have.
    4. I think my last hurdle, is that I live out in the country, and I don't think it's as accepted out here than in the major cities.
    5. I'm 41, so I'll probably not look like those that transition when they're younger.
    6. Sexually, I don't care what gender I'm with. However, I feel as though it will be more difficult to find relationships after transitioning. It's easy for me now to be with heterosexual/bisexual women, and gay/bisexual men. After transitioning, I feel I'll most likely be with lesbian/bisexual women, and straight/bisexual men, but with some added drama/confusion during my confession/reveal.
    I just want to behave and look like how I want to look like, and not have to act and look like how I'm expected to. I feel as though I know I'm trans because when I'm by myself or with someone I'm open and intimate with, I like to do what the social norms calls "girly". I like to garden, cook, dress up, flirt, dance, act sexy, etc. Ever since I was a teen, I bought panties, dresses, and wore make-up when I was by myself.

    Anyone here have helpful advice they can share?
    subshawn41 likes this.
  2. KathyL

    KathyL Members

    I would say that deciding what you want should be a very early step. It can be helpful to talk to a gender therapist to help you decide that.
    Coming out, especially to those closest to you is a difficult, early step.

    Most people who transition will start by take hormones. Many insurance policies will cover this, but you have to follow the standard procedures or they won't. If you don't have medical insurance, then transition gets very expensive.

    Surgery is expensive, and insurance does not usually cover facial surgery. (On the other hand, genital surgery is usually covered, if you change your mind about that.) The biggest uninsured expense for most people is electrolysis to remove facial hair.

    Your appearance is limited by what you have to work with. But it's not a big deal. The majority of trans women I know transitioned in their 50s or 60s. Transitioning is not about trying to become a fashion model. (If it is, you have other issues to deal with.) In any crowd, you probably won't be the ugliest woman.

    Living in a rural area is not necessarily a problem. I live in a tiny fishing village full of fishermen, farmers and hillbillies. I have been out for three years, and I have not had any problems at all. My friends who live in the city report more harassment and lack of acceptance than I have had.

    Sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identity. I know gay, straight and bi trans people. It's all good.

    Good luck!
    secretasianman likes this.
  3. subshawn41

    subshawn41 closeted sub

    Coming out to people you care about is first and foremost for me, especially as a parent with two kids (mom is primary caregiver). I wouldn't even be comfortable talking to a therapist about it.
    secretasianman likes this.

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