What advice would YOU give in this situation?

If a teen male (who was gay/bi) came to you, as an older, mature man, and asked you what would be the best way to handle their sexuality in a largely straight, bigoted world, how would you answer?

If the young person had parents that were supportive, I would tell him to look to his dad as a best friend, and also, hold his mother in the highest regard.

Trust them all the way.

I would tell him to keep his sexuality as "under wraps" as much as possible; though; of course, he's done nothing wrong or to be ashamed of, and, also, to be VERY careful in choosing his friends.

Friends MIGHT be very close and trustworthy IF they believe you to be STRAIGHT, but, on the OTHER hand, you have no idea how they will react if you "come out" to them.

It can be a frightening.....and devastating......total about face.

I would also tell him to enjoy his pasttimes and hobbies on his own; UNLESS he KNEW he could REALLY trust his buddies (OR, if they were gay/bi themselves) the less he would find himself in harm's way.

Even in today's so-called "tolerant" age, there are still so many gay/bi teens who suffer from ostracism, abuse, or suicidal tendencies.

Look at how many gay/bi teens have committed suicide, simply because they could not take the pain nor the loneliness.

Recall, some years ago, the unfortunate gay NJ teen who, caught by his college roommate having sex with another male, ended up ending his life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge?

What a sad, senseless waste of a promising young life!

Just imagine the pain and anguish his parents still deal with, even today.

Trying to guide a straight teen in today's unstable world is difficult enough for good, supportive parents; imagine how difficult it is for supportive, loving parents trying to guide their gay/bi teen safely into adulthood?

God bless those parents who support (and love) their gay/bi children; they are truly rare gifts to be treasured......

 

In such a situation as this, it is important to tell the individual you are advising NOT what he might WANT to hear, BUT, what you HONESTLY feel would be the BEST for him in the long run.

You cannot downplay HONESTY is such an instance, nor can you "sugar coat" your HONEST opinions.....

 

As usual, you speak with a very mature attitude.

Nowadays, in so many ways, kids really have no time to enjoy the CHILDHOODS, as we once did, long ago.

Too, too much sex is out there, in so many venues these days, that many young kids know more about sex these days that I did at 21!

By the time I was in high school, no one thought of me as "gay" they just thought I was too wrapped up in my hobbies to be interested in girls (this turned out to be a godsend for me)

"Don't label too quickly"........

EXCELLENT advice; labeling, IMHO, can be so demeaning and distasteful.

With young minds, it is so very important to steer them into the safest waters possible, and to encourage them to follow their "gut" feeliungs as well as their common sense.......

 

I know what I wouldn't tell him: I wouldn't tell him to run and hide who he is as a person. Humans like to kill that which they don't or can't understand or that which isn't like us and it's unfortunate that so many men and women have lost their lives due to our built-in bigotry and fear of the other. But a lot of people who aren't all that straight live full and exciting lives even though we live in a world that knows nothing but hatred, prejudice, and violence. So I'd tell him to be who he needs to be but to be smart about it and, yeah, be very aware of what's going on around them - and then focus on enjoying being who they are as a person and not be of a mind to cower in fear and as a matter of course. Sure, I'd tell them about the good and bad of things and I wouldn't pull any punches, but I'd not tell them to run and hide because the world we live in is so fucked up about something that it can't understand even though, again and again, this isn't rocket science.