what’s behind you wife’s “need” for spanking?

When we got married my wife my wife bought me a cd. It was Madonna’s Hanky Spanky single. An odd gift but not too unusual.

The first time she screwed up at home she explained that since she was little she got spanked when she did anything wrong and she felt better afterwards, a form of absolution.

I wasn’t really into spanking but did as she requested. I didn’t really do it right as smacking her bare bottom was more sexual for me and what she really wanted was punishment.

She explained to me that she had always been spanked over the knee on her bare bottom by her father. I said that happened to most people when they were little. She said it wasn’t just when she was little. It continued through her senior school years and beyond.

I asked her to expand.

She told me her father was a very strict disciplinarian with a short temper. He had experienced tough discipline as a child and saw it as “normal”.

He was an unusual man, brilliant mind but socially awkward with impossibly high standards. Nowadays he would probably be diagnosed as Aspergers Syndrome.

She gave examples of not getting the right mark in a test or exam would result in her being taken to his study, laid over his knee, skirt lifted and panties pulled down and a forceful spanking.

She also mentioned when she failed her first driving test. He was very angry at her failing after all the money he had spent on lessons. She was marched through to the study and pulled across his knee. Except she had on tight jeans so he made her stand up while he unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans pulling them down to her ankles along with her panties. Then back over his knee for a firm spanking.

When it was finished she would, as usual, stand in front of him and apologise. She was almost 18 at that point.

We met when she was 21 and quickly moved in together. Despite that, she experienced another episode of spanking when she was visiting her parents for a weekend and “disrespected” her father. He lost no time in taking her to the study, flipping up her nightie and bending her over his knee.

Unfortunately, she starting laughing at the absurdity of the situation and that made him more angry. The smacks were more frequent and she continued to laugh until a badly aimed one landed on her pussy. That made her jolt and squeal in pain.

she subtly moved position to take her pussy out of the line of fire but still half the smacks were hitting her pussy. She moved again but was still squealing when her pussy got hit. So she surrendered and moved position again to get comfortable and then opened her legs. Six well aimed and firm smacks on her pussy accompanied by six squeals of pain and her punishment was over. Apart from her apology.

She had an elder brother and sister and they both rebelled and refused punishment as early as joining primary school. But she accepted it until her early twenties. I could never understand that. Why was it?

her father is no longer with us and I did not have the right mindset to provide her needs for submission, punishment and sexual humiliation so she sees other men with my permission. It works well for us.

She regularly sees a former boss who retired from her workplace. Office gossip suggested he was a bit “kinky” and into Dom/sub and BDSM.

She contacted him, met for a drink, chatted about work and then asked him if he was into Dom/sub because she was looking for someone to look after those needs for her.

He didn’t believe her and thought she was winding him up as a prank. She had to convince him she was serious and offered to do anything he told her to do. He sent her to the ladies room to take off her bra and panties and she duly returned and handed them over.

Since then he has taken care of her submission and punishment needs as well as sexual humiliation.

Her need for spanking and punishment clearly come from her childhood but why didn’t she rebel like her siblings when she started attending school? Why did she accept it through her teens and into adult life.

She is 100% certain her father’s motives were about absolute authority and punishment and not sexual.

She admits the humiliation was arousing for her and sexual humiliation is hugely enjoyable for her now so maybe it was always about that.

What do you think?

PS this is not to titillate as a taboo topic. It still puzzles me and maybe others understand it better.