akin to someone else here i just wanted to say somewhere.... i am bisexual!!! there, there we go, its out there! *massive sigh of relief* its been playing on my mind because im currently in an incredible 2 year relationship with my man- which im very happy in, and have no desire to end- just over time ive come to realise im attracted to woman as well as guys. id like everyone just to know (and i dont think anyone would really have a problem with it at all), but i feel like while im already in a relationship it would somehow be inappropriote or weird? or make him think i was simply trying to tell him i was gay? it really irriates me when im out with a paticular gay friend of mine because she always makes a massive point of telling any1 we get talking to when we're out "shes straight so leave her alone, haha!"- all i want do is start shouting; "no im actually not! shut up!"- but somehow i never seem to be able to get it out, and wind up cross for the rest of the night. also, nobody has ever actually *asked*- people have just assumed. its not that im ashamed or have a problem with my sexuality; i just think people wouldnt get why id be bringing up, or suddenly reaslise it or whatever when im in a relationship. has anyone else got/had this problem?! *shakes head* lol. well i feel alot better for getting that out *somewhere*!! thank u
Well, unless you're looking for a new relationship, which you're not, I say that going around telling people out of the blue is a silly idea. It'll just make people uncomfortable or angry or make them think that it's an open invitation. Whether you're straight or not doesn't really matter, does it? Of course, if they ask you then you should tell the truth. Truth is good. As for your boyfriend...I don't know. To bring it up out of the blue might cause some problems. You could just hint around...like while you're watching a movie or something you can say "she's hot." or something along those lines. Either way you go...it's not a big deal. If your boyfriend is comfortable with himself he shouldn't have any jealousy problems. Attraction isn't cheating.
In responce to knotdirty I STRONGLY disagree: You stated: "Whether you're straight or not doesn't really matter, does it? " IT REALLY DOES.....I tell you why. Bisexually-natured peoples are the most "invisible" among the three (or more as some believe) sexual orientations. Because of this "Don't ask Don't tell" policy for Bi's makes it more difficult for Bi people to meet other Bi people just for "SOCIAL" reasons that have nothing to do with sex, like heteros do. So to say: "Well, unless you're looking for a new relationship, which you're not, I say that going around telling people out of the blue is a silly idea" Being the idea that most Bi people subscribe to, DOES NOT help the GREATER cause of our sexuality being known outside of sex circles. This in turn is why NUMEROUS Bi people are invovled in heterosexual (straight?) relationships and live in quiet despiration just "longing" for complete fulfillment. AND STILL WORSE...little Bisexual/loving children who come into this world will be LOST to the SAME tradgedy. So Wheather one is "looking" for a same-sex partner OR not, we need to start letting our friends and relatives know (an educate them) that there is MANY MANY MANY more people in the world other than just so-called "straight" OR "gay" Bi people make yourselves KNOWN at EVERY opportunity REGARDLESS of your circumstance OR what people think....In the long run the day will come when people like Feather will not have to sit quietly in there chair saying in thier minds only - all i want do is start shouting; "no im actually not! shut up!"- Remember the gay anthemn: Life ain't worth a damn til you can shout OUT...."I AM what I AM". PLEASE won't SOMEBODY think of the children? LOL ---BUT SERIOUS "This has been a mrREAL4two presentation"
Mrreal4two,...It's not that I disagree,...As a matter of fact I strongly agree,.. but I like so many others I'm sure find it hard to be known and open,.letting the world know where out there.It's can be hard enough to let our friends and family know were bi.Not to mention how easily our sexuality is misinterpreted.I will say I often feel like shouting from the rooftops cause I'm sick of being silent.I don't know why I don't,but I try to slowly come to terms with me and the rest of the world regarding it.And look for safe ways to begin to let the world know bi's are here.I agree with you 100% I'm taking it a little slower though,.actually it was inspiring and motivating to read your post.I wish more of us felt that way! Hell yea, Joey*
I agree with mrreal... if you don't say something, you'll just feel more ashamed. I have noticed that a lot of guys are more open to girls being bi, than the other way around. And guys are more likely to say it's nasty for a guy to be bi than to say it's nasty for a girl to be bi. Your boyfriend might actually be secretly thinking "I'd love to see her with this other girl," but afraid to say anything to you because he thinks it would scare you off. If you already know he's turned off by bi girls, because of a previous experience with a girl he's told you about, you should probably still tell him but assure him that although you're attracted to other girls, doesn't mean you're going to cheat on him with one or leave him for one or anything like that. If he still freaks out, then obviously his love for you is not unconditional like it should be, and although you're happy with him, you could be happier with someone who is more accepting. I definitely don't think it's possible to be happy if you're hiding your true self from the people you love most. My family thinks I'm a lesbian just because I've joined some bisexual groups on yahoo and it shows up in my profile. I even have an uncle that has my grandma convinced that I'm advertising "lesbian sex services" on the internet and he knows it's me because he saw my picture. Unfortunately I'd never be able to convince her that he has raped his own daughter and that he and his wife are both bisexual swingers. Nothing wrong with being a swinger, but if he's not going to admit the things he does, he needs to keep his mouth shut about other people and let them decide when is the right time to "come out."
hmmm well thats certainly no good about your uncle! also, you're very right about the whole thing to do with partners responses. i know hes not into watching women/women (as hes mentioned plenty times he duznt c why guys r into watching it since its not like theyd be interested in u joining in, lol) etc. so i dont think hed be excited in that respect- i just wished id said when we first met bcoz im sure he wouldnt have batted an eyelid about it. its just ive sort of began to realise it about myself since... and somehow any way i could tell him seems like im trying to say i want a break or something. so, for the moment, (like i think somebody else was saying above?) im taking things a bit slower! at the moment its great firstly to have admitted it somewhere that isnt the inside of my head!- lol, and as time goes on i can get around to dealing with people i actually know knowing and accepting! one day it shall be out there and i suppose thats comforting for the moment. i was just curious if anybody else had come to be in the same situation to see how they handled it
i haven't really ever had to tell anyone. they pretty much figure it out. this has been known to cause some women to run away quickly, others to cozy up too quickly, and men to think i'm some kind of porn star available for an easy lay or tell them all my female on female sexual episodes. but whatever, you know? i'm just me and can't control how other people respond to me.
