Alright, well...I'm feeling horrible lately. About a week ago, I pretty much lost feeling in my body. It's strange...I can still kinda feel, but not well. My pain tolerance is pretty high and I can't really feel pleasure as well as I usually do. Besides this, I just feel really drugged, but I'm not at all. I feel like I'm living in a dream and that everything that's happening each day might not really be happening. Also, when I drive, I get disoriented and I'm not exactly sure where I am. The other night, I was driving late and I got paranoid. I thought I was being chased by FBI agents or something. Then, I saw a police car that my bf says wasn't really there... Besides all this, I feel really frustrated most of the time. If I can't find something, I feel like I'm going insane. Also, sometimes when I'm trying to find something, I feel like if I think hard enough, I can make it appear, sort of like magical powers (yes, I know it sounds stupid). It's driving me absolutely nuts. I don't feel like myself at all. I've been so depressed. Plus, I just graduated from college and I need a job and can't find anything to make me happy. I hardly have the drive to even find a job anymore. On top of all this, my parents are splitting and my dad is moving out of the house. Alright...well...I know all of that sounds ridiculous, but I just don't know what to do. I feel so paranoid, frustrated, depressed, unmotivated, and all-around pathetic. I've never seen a doctor about my depression, but I've felt it for many years. I'm afraid to go, though...I don't want to be put on medication. I'm afraid of losing my personality and changing into an entirely different person. I don't know what the side affects of meds are, but I've read and heard some pretty bad stories and I don't want to deal with any of that... If anyone has any advice on what could be going on with me, I would be really grateful. I can't take this numb feeling anymore. I know I need to see a doctor, but before I do that (IF I do that), I'd like to hear any advice or insight any of you might have. Thanks very much in advance.
See a doc! There are alternatives besides medication, such as psychotherapy. Don't be afraid of the meds, though. They can cause side effects, but the overwhelming majority of patients do not. Antidepressants do not cause you to loose your personality. They may make you feel a little strange at first, while your body adjusts, but any personality change will disapear after two weeks or so. Good luck to you!
Aww, thanks for responding. I was beginning to lose hope that anyone would. But thanks, it's appreciated...
I would say a good start would be with your family doctor or general practiconer. You described many situational things that can cause some types of depression, only a visit to the family doctor and a good series of blood tests or panels could also help to rule out things you described that are some warning signs such as diabetes or high blood pressure or thyroid gland disorder. Depression can also be resulted from a physical ailment, then once the doctor is able to rule out physical problem as being the cause of these, to then begin with the emotional or mental type possibility's. Peace and good fortunes to you RxHEAD
Hey, thanks for responding. I know I don't know have high blood pressure, since I tested for that just last week, and my pressure is actually only 106/60. Diabetes is a possibility since it runs in my family. Then again, I've been under a lot of stress with my family and with finding a job, so it could be because of that as well. Thank you for taking the time to write, and for the advice. It's appreciated...
stress, depression and anxiety all together can cause a lot of those symptoms. as previously hit on here... you should get physical tests done... including one that mentioned on here *well two of them*- anemia and thyroid disorders.... after that.... i mean, you gotta figure out if you wants meds or not if you find out it's def. depression and/or anxiety (i mention anxiety cause they run together so much). i take lexapro and as far as i know i have no symptoms from it. i DO see a great change in my life though.
Thanks for writing. Yeah, I've had depression for a good many years, and boughts of anxiety as well. I'm most likely bipolar or/and have borderline personality disorder. Medication would probably help me...but can I just ask...what kind of affects can it have? I've heard people can gain weight, or have sexual side affects, and have really bad withdrawal if a day is missed.
i don't like to mess with illness of any type - you know yourself best - but, it also sounds like you need a major change of pace. have you thought about taking a different next step? maybe finding a job somewhere else, or doing something that you'd consider to be FUN? i worked in a pizzaria for a while in the east village just because it was fun. it did make me money, so i saw it as a viable time passer till i could move on...have you thought about going somewhere else and finding a job? maybe teaching in another country or a beachside town or something? for this, well, obviously you'll need to work out some of the things that have been going on first, but it might be a good step to take once you feel more stable. i was just out in the woods for 5 days and i feel great; much better than i was here. now that i'm back, i feel way less great and feel the need to get back out there, anywhere, just not here, where everything happens the way it always does!
Yeah, I've definitely given that suggestion thought, but it just seems like everything has obstacles, and it's driving me nuts. I've been so down that I don't even know what I WANT to be doing. I did apply to my local newspaper for a job, but I'm just doing it to do it...I'm not passionate about it, and that just makes me sad. I get these moments where things seem clear and I have these ideas of what would make me happy...but it seems like the next second, I feel like it can't happen and I give up. I really would love to do what you did...go out in the woods for a week and just relax and breathe. And I know I shouldn't be thinking about it, that I should just go ahead and do it, but I don't even know how I'd go about doing that. I just feel so down and unlike myself. I feel like I'm being pushed to do some stupid job just to have money, and I'm not happy and I just feel anxious and nervous all the time, like I have no future. Alright, enough melodrama...sorry. I really do appreciate all the feedback, thank you all. I guess I'll work it out somehow. I'm just waiting for the rollercoaster to go back up so that I can be happy for a few days until it comes crashing down once again.
