Watching Myself...

Stephen brought out the new video recorder again.

I watched it last night after he went to bed and I was a little surprised. I got to see myself being fucked doggie-style, from a guy's perspective, and that was pretty hot. He finished by having me kneel before him while he came on my face. And I have to admit that I was a little disapointed by what I saw.

See, I pride myself in my ability to act submissively and to be the perfect "living doll" for my Master. I've always thought my performance while letting him cum on my face was perfect. But I saw myself actually flinching, and not looking as submissive as I would like. In fact if I didn't know better, I would think the girl on screen wasn't enjoying it at all.

Just a thought: take a look at yourself sometime. You might be surprised at what you see. I'm going to work on my submissive performance and get it right!

 

Damn! That made me all horny just reading this! I must break out the cam-corder again tonight!!!! - just for the sure fun of watching it later!!!!

 

Maybe you flinched for a reason. I dont believe making love should be a performance. I believe it should be real and true to him and yourself. But then im stuffy like that.

Xx

 

When do I get to receive that video in the mail? ~wink~

 

I think it's difficult for non-submissives to understand, but giving myself over to him is being true to myself. Being submissive didn't make me flinch, being struck between the eyes by a stream of cum made me flinch.

 

As soon as you and I make one!!!!

*giggles*

 

oh nice! how does 5:30 sound?

 

Fair dos...I wasnt picking up on the fact that submissiveness seems unnatural to me(although youre right, it does. But i completely understand how it can work for other people.) I was actually picking up on this idea of the "performance". I dont understand how you can "put on a show" yet be true at the same time. Maybe im looking at this too simply or something.

Xx

 

Great! Now all you have to do is figure out how to get where I live (a state away) and we're golden!

 

Thank god for google maps! haha

 

Thank God for sexy men like this!!!!!!!!!

 

I see your point.

Not everything I do, or have done to me, is always enjoyable. Sometimes, in the case of hot wax or the cat o' nine tails, he wants me to feel uncomfortable. In a case like that I would have no problem showing my discomfort. But this (coming on my face) is VERY special to him, and I know he wants me to accept it as though I absolutely love it.

I intend to make him happy by being the best submissive that I can be for him. Sometimes love means playing the part.

 

Where does a guy find one of these submissive women? My girlfriend seems really happy with me, but to even get a basic blow job where she finishes it with her hand only happens like every three months, and even then i have to practically beg for it. I think im the one being dominated here even though thats not what im into. I do stuff for her whenever she wants.

 

I've heard that there are actually more subs than doms. Homosexuals refer to their sense of reciprocated attraction as "gadar"; knowing someone's a submissive is similar. If you're a true dom, you'll find someone.

BTW, a submissive won't just give themselves over to anyone. You have to prove yourself worthy of a sub's loyalty, and you can't fake it. You either have it or you don't.

 

But youre flinching for a reason, because you are recieving a shot of cum in the eye, doesnt mean youre not enjoying it, it just means your body is responding to a shock to some tissue, thats normal.

 

Tell him this. That ought to do it. The fact that you are even thinking about this kind of stuff for your man put you in a league of your own. You are ALMOST the hottest person here, Robyne...

DAMN...

 

Well its not that I cant tell her to do what I want and she'll do it, she will, but even when she tries to act like she likes it, I can tell she hates it. Shes really kind of a dominant type herself i think. I dont want to be making someone truely unhappy. I want someone who enjoys for their partner to take charge. Not so I can be selfish all the time and make it all for me, I would of cource want to see her enjoying it. The thing is I love the girl im currently with, even if sexually, me and her dont match that well, so Im going to stay with her.

 

Oh, and don't forget to "rwite your posts in a word processop." That's hilarious!

 

I still have no idea who said that, probably one of those types that makes fun of your grammer if they dont like your opinion. For all I know maybe they were trying to be funny, but either way i thought it was.

 

i don't mind watching my face so long as im well trimmed...i don't mind when im super hairy when i look in the mirror but if i look at a vid or pic of me when im super hairy i look pretty blech.