Ive known a girl since me freshman year im an upcoming junior and i fell in love with her freshman year. we stopped talking for a long time bc she would never be in a relationship with me we would tell each other we loved eachother allthe time but she would see other guys. i couldnt get mad at her bc we werent dating. so imma bout to be a junior and shes about tobe a senoir weve worked a lot of stuff out. then one night im about to go to a party and drink and she tells me she has no where to go tonight. i invited her to the party ths was our fis=rst time drinking together. after we started drinking she started leaning onme and kissing me then soon enough we got in bed and she said she wanted to fuck me. shes flatout drunk. and istarted fingering her then she took off my shorts and we had sex for our first time. every sexual emotion i had locked up for about two year on her i unleashed. it was amazing she loved it and so did i. oh and she wasnt a virgin and i was. then when morning came we woke up and i told her what happened. she wasnt mad she was happy that she was my first she said shes glad it was her and not some other hoe haha. she still wont be inna relationship with me but she wants to have sex with me again. she said that i dont need to do anything that its all for me. im worried bc i get so upset when im not around her i get depressed that i cant tell her i love her or see her as much as i want. she says she loves me but isnt in love with me and it hurts her that shes hurting me. but i cant go away from her. shes my frist and true love. please help me with this situation. i can give more info if needed.
Will she not be in a relationship at all, or just not with you? If the former, try and find out why. If the latter, I guess you're stuck: she's not into you, for whatever reason. The fact that she said the sex was just for you is weird though. I'd be put off by that, personally.
She doesnt want to date anyone until she goes to college bc she cant find a guy that will treat her right. she knows that i would treat her like a queen. that i would treat her better than any other guy she told me that. but she said shes indecisive and doesnt know what she wants and that she doesnt want to hurt me or lose me she told me this. "Cody i love you. im not in love with you but i love you. i consider you an amazing friend. i dont ever EVER want to lose you. i hate it when we are fighting, thats all i want cody is for us to stay close." inever realized how much i really meant to her until she told me this. i would get mad and quit talking to her bc of my jealousy. and she said it would make her so sad. she would say she never had anybody to talk to and that she couldnt stand it. i guess you would have to be in my shoes to understand the sex. its a friend thing she wants to give me bc ive wanted it so long. ive never told her that but she knows it.
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I think she values you and your friendship but does not see a permanent relationship with you. If you can deal with that then continue to be friends with benefits. If you can not, then it may be for the best that you stop having an intimate relationship with her. Hope it all works out for you.
you're getting sex WITHOUT needing to be in a relationship or having to tell someone you love them, what is wrong with you seriously, man up.
Cody, I think you should try to accept what she said. She feels love and friendship for you, but not a romantic girlfriend/boyfriend thing. Just respect her and be her friend and enjoy the wonderful feelings of sharing sex with her. You can both have a wonderful time and share a deep friendship. Face it, high school romances do not last but high school friendships can last for a lifetime. You are a very very lucky guy. Don't blow it by trying to force her into some teenage romance straitjacket.
She isn't a thing that you can have though. If she chooses to share her life with you in an intimate personal relationship, that is something that she decides she wants for whatever reason. If she chooses to only have a friendship (with benefits or not) with you, you have to respect this and understand that there's nothing wrong with you, nor is there anything you can do about it. Badgering and pushing her will only ever make things worse. That's just her personal decision for whatever reason. Most people don't want to "let go" of their first, but everyone does, and everyone has a first who is very special. This doesn't mean that you have to forget her, or having good times with her, but you have to respect her decision, whatever it is, and not get hung up on her if it doesn't work out the way you want it to. There are a lot of special people in the world that will treat you right, and who will want to share their life with you.
