Voyeurism with a twist

I'm new to this forum and am trying to understand my emotions. I'm a widower in my 70's. For 9 years I've been seeing a high end prostitute and have developed a strange relationship with her. She's 40 years younger, a long time heroin addict, and has been seeing other customers with my full knowledge. I've spent about $400,000 with her through the years. I've saved her life after overdoses several times, have traveled on vacations with her and I can say we both care about each other. She has been working on her sobriety and realized she needed a new start in a new state.
I drove her car with her to a new start 1300 miles away. She got a job, got an apartment and is now 10 weeks sober. I've continued to send her money as she built a new life. She met a "hot" guy and they started seeing each other however she swore they weren't having sex for the first few weeks. Then they began living together and she indicated that they were falling in love.
Recently she sent me pictures of her sucking his dick with his cum in her mouth. It turned me on far more than I expected and I told her. She then indicated that they had quickly gone from straight sex to enjoying inflicting pain. I then received a short video of her dripping hot candle wax on his naked body. She said she's sending me a 20 minute video which she says is VERY good. She says that during sex he degrades her, spits on her, and calls her a dirty whore. Then he's effusive about his love for her. I've asked if I can "order" videos fitting my wants & wishes for payment?
I really don't know what to make of all of this. She and I have had sex in every position and in every orifice I could imagine and it's been wonderful, but I never considered such abuse ( if that's what it is). Any thoughts or suggestions?

 

Do it! Id love for an ex to offer me the same