Virgin at 40

Hi. I am 40 years old and I am still virgin. Never had a girlfriend. Actually, I've never kissed a woman. I am not ugly but socially awkward. But I don't want just sex. I want to find my life partner and a woman who doesn't judge me, but without any romantic and sexual experience it is really challenging to find a partner and I am really worried because I am not precisely a spring chicken and I don't want to get too old before finding love.

 

Hey, I saw your movie! The one that also had Catherine Keener and Paul Rudd and others. Loved it!

Seriously, you are leaving something out of this tale--just what do you mean by "socially awkward"? What are you judged for?

The ONLY way this could ever change is with you first taking an unflinching look at yourself to identify what you're doing that keeps women away.

I'll wager that desperation is one factor. Instead of looking for a "life partner", dial it back and just look for a date. Or a friend.

 

Yes. I am in the same situation of the movie.

 

I was being fah-see-shus. Nevermind.

How did you get there?

 

I suffer from social anxiety and I was very sheltered in my childhood. But I don't want to sleep with many women until find the right one.

 

I don't want to lose the woman who take my virginity, so i can't sleep with a random woman.

 

You've kinda put yourself in a difficult position.

Since you're a virgin, you're (no offense intended) gonna suck in bed. Most women aren't going to find teaching a virgin to be an attractive proposition, since he may never get to be good.

Your best bet would likey be a woman in the same boat. But 40yo female virgins aren't exactly common either.

Consider ditching the plan to cleave to the first one, and experiment until you find Ms Right.

In any case, your best bets are to use internet dating sites or to put yourself into target-rich environments. In other words, go where you might find single women who are compatible.

This may sound snarky, but I think you might have good odds at this country's largest gatherings of virgins--a Con.

Think of the things you might find enjoyable and manageably comfortable, and go to those. Your female counterparts will be there too.

And never give up.

 

P.S., I'm only partly joking about Cons. Find nerds, my good man.

 

I got $20 on a hooker!

 

I am not from the US. I am from Argentina.

 

Okay, skip the part about American Cons.

You're still going to have the best results with women who are similar to you.

If you practice a religion, try church socials. If you like to read, try book clubs or author events.

Classes, speed dating, volunteer gigs, and, of course, the internet all provide possibilities.

The more proactive you are, the better your chances.

¡Buena suerte!

 

Thanks for your time and attention.

 

De nada.

Echale ganas. Y que la suerte este de tu lado.

 

Hoping the best for you as you turn the tide;-)

 

I was going to suggest finding someone like me with no strings attached to get a little experience…I’ve had a few that are in his predicament.

 

Thank you for your words but I only want to have intimacy with the woman who will be my life partner.I am not going to give my virginity to a woman who will not be my life partner.

 

Sorry…just thought I’d help. You are on a liberated, “hip forum” complaining about being a virgin at 40…so most likely this isn’t the place you’ll get the advice you need to satisfy all of your requirements…just my practical opinion

 

Oops I didn't know that It was a liberated forum. I just wanted to vent and searched for online forums and this came up. Anyway, I really thank you for your kind words. At least I could vent a little.