Useful Things To Do With A Dead Person

1. elect to public office
2. realistic Halloween decoration
3. coffee table - requires a stack of 2 or 3
4. extra weight in back of 4WD vehicle for off-roading
5. target for bow and arrow practice
6. set up as blind date for your ex

 

Eat them

Use the bones for furniture legs, skin for leather

skull bowls for cereal

Cut open a fat one to keep Luke Skywalker warm while you build a shelter

 

sex

 

Sew a few together and use for a room divider

Use them for a toboggan in winter

Stuff them and put them at the table to use as a family for lonely people.

 

carpool lane decoys

 

Hang them around outside in front of your property, like by their necks or hanging from a cross etc. This will scare potential no-gooders who step on your land.

 

babysitter for mean kids

 

Give one or two of my ex girlfriends a couple of lessons on what to do in bed, besides lay there like a corpse.

 

compost

 

remember

 

Tell them all your secrets.

Use them as a piggy bank.

Movie props for the next apocalypse film.

Parachute testers.

 

lol zinger

 

parade them around town in the back end of a pick truck.. with a big ol' sign: the honorable Donna ho McDaniel cant murder anyone now can she?..

 

pick axe parking

 

Keep frozen and break off pieces for protein rich dog treats

or

A Piñata

 

you've been shagging corpses?? :frown:

 

take it to the cinema as my date

"you'll love this film, it's dead good...... sorry
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... popcorn, corpse? Fuck."

 

Christmas gift for a Wall Street banker
fake border guard for South Korea

 

Christmas gift for the person that is hard to buy for...