this is to mi dad shut up u dickhed wen will u lern to respect me im just a little kid like u so stop thinkig ur abov me i can fly too u go fly upstate to ur woman i fly in my mind higher then u can evr hope too go so get in ur car and fly ill be waiting in teh sky wen i come downstares i see the food prosesser on teh counter how many carots have died so u can eat sallad i am a carot to u know but im peoplecolored insted of orenge stuf me in ur food prosesser chew me up ill be ded by thirten u dickhed
This is to my Dad Shut up you dickhead When will you learn to respect me? I'm just a little kid, like you So stop thinking you're above me I can fly too You go fly upstate to your woman I fly in my mind higher then you can ever hope too go So get in your car and fly I'll be waiting in the sky When I come downstares I see The food prosesser on the counter How many carots have died so you can eat salad I am a carot too you know? But I'm people colored instead of orange Stuff me in your food prosesser Chew me up I'll be dead by thirteen You dickhead ....Now it's a little easier to read....
it certainly does sound like the poetry of an angst filled 11 or 12 year old girl... go listen to some 'taking back sunday' or something, you dad hating, mashed potato eating emoxcore (with the silent x) little kid. your poem is t3h suck. so is your grammar.
Most kids type that way today because they text message so much. Instead of telling her she sucks why doesn't anyone acknowledge the fact that she is writing and getting her anger out in a good way? She could be taking it out the wrong way and hurting someone,maybe even herself.Sounds to me her dad is an ass....
I assumed it was intentional, and it works, for me. Loved the subject changes, the anger. Good poem, I say!
Yeah, I liked it too even though I can't exactly explain why. It's such an angry poem but I think the way she spelled things might have softened it a bit in a good way. As for some of the other posts..... whoa man, I had a hard time following that.
you ass. apart from that unnecessary and extremely judgemental comment, i really liked the poem. so many kids, teens and even adults have been in that "dad hating" situation, its ridiculous and insulting to force her into your narrowminded slot. and you should NEVER knock a poem that came so truly from the heart. you dont belong here if the point of your existence in this forum is to insult people brave enough to submit their work.
Wow, it's hard to imagine someone is this damn dumb. Don't pretend like you know anything about this kids life. (I say this to ALL of you.) I felt like this when I was younger and more than likely you did too. Almost all of us go through a time when we are mad at our parents and feel like we hate them. So, shove it up your ass buddy! And.. by the way.. its grammar. You nitwit. Okay, just because it is from the heart doesn't make it good. I don't really like this, but I can't rightly say that I consider it a poem. No matter what, the person belongs here. Be it to say bad things or good. It's all opinion baby.
d00d... how many carrots had to die? what the fuck? HOW MANY CARROTS HAD TO DIE FOR YOUR SALAD?!?!?!?!?? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!??!!??! and yeah, my parents piss me off sometimes, but i dont hate them. never have. kids think they're being so deep and cool when they write shittty poems (atleast from what i've seen. i could be wrong), but they dont realize what superficial conformists they are being... EVERYONE is emo or goth or angry metal head now adays... they all write shitty poems... i found this packet of poems this one kid wrote at my school the other day... the stuff was like norwegian death metal, but it didnt flow AT ALL... but yeah. its cool now adays to hate your dad (FOR MURDERING CARROTS!!! ((shes a carrot too you know)) OH NOES!!one1!1), its cool to write poems, songs, and other shit... but shes not even 13 yet... barely hit puberty, and she's allready an angst filled teenage emo kid. not even 13.. she prolly hates preps too...
criticism dude... she'll continue to keep cranking out shit if everyone accepts her shit. and just because a poem comes from the heart doesnt mean you cant knock it. anything can suck, even if it does "come from the heart"... so yeah. she'll fix herself, and maybe even turn into a real goth/emo/metalhead.. or better yet, a real person...
since when is there a goddamn age limit to be angry?! jack, you sound to me like someone who has never had it rough. you know what, a lot of kids go through shit before they hit the age of thirteen so have some goddamn humility, you jerk. and poetry is a form of expression you may not understand. so you dont get the meaning of her carrot analogy. BIG FUCKING DEAL. get over it. its not your poem. she can write whatever she feels like.
