I know I haven't been on here in awhile so some of you may not remember what this has to do with, but to those of you who gave me encouraging words this is whats up. I won my court case. It was dropped to a misdemeanor because the estimate on the lap top was wrong, but anyways I don't care about that. I can say after these past few months I still think about him, but not in the same way. I'm content to not have to worry about "dating" a man at this time, even though I have been "seeing" his best friend (also a long time friend of my own), which is the best part for me, hehe. And no, my ex does not know, yet. They say revenge is bittersweet and I agree. But the more my actual feelings develop for Josh, the more confusing it's becoming for me. I mean, I still have my hangups, which brings me back to thinking about Chase (all bad things now. I can hardly recall the good ones). I don't believe in love anymore, but then my heart is beginning to love again, or is it simply infatuation? But at the same time, we're both uneasy about calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, because not only have we both had our share of dating baggage, he is Chase's best friend for Christ's sake!!! But then again, I can tell he feels for me too, just by looking into my eyes, how sweetly he kisses me, how tightly he embraces me. Neither one of us saw this coming, but then again NOONE can wrap their heads around what Chase did either. I'm enjoying it, and I don't want to stop it, but it's a new kind of relationship, and lately it has me thinking. For example; I don't ask him where he's going, or who he's talking to. I have not asked him to be faithful, or to exchange vows of love with me, or even give me the time of day if he does not wish to. It's nice because I don't HAVE TO WORRY about what my man's up to. But then again, as my feelings grow, sometimes I wonder how I should play it out. He's already my roommate, been so for a year; so I find myself not wanting to go out if he's home, not hanging out as much with others, even my other roommates, if he's around. He's making me fucking content just to be around him, even if it's just watching t.v. bored as fuck. That seems to be the down side of relationships. I don't call my friends as much, or blow them off altogether. I think about him constantly; my feelings for him, how he's gonna handle Chase when he finds out, if that will hurt what we have when he goes toe to toe with my ex, his best friend, and how far will this actually lead us. I wonder if I should text him, and how often, or if I should let him come to me. And then I wonder if that may make him feel as if I'm uninterested, so I try to find middle ground where I'm speaking to him but not harassing him. It is a pro and a con to have him as a consort, than an actual "boyfriend". So I'm learning to deal. Any suggestions? How would you all handle this situation if you found yourself in it. p.s. Oh yea, and my ex is officially dating the hoe he cheated on me with. So he is far from passing judgment on us in my eye.
Just take it day by day, your ex has nothing to do with you or what you do behind closed doors. You're not doing anything wrong, although it may seem that you are. Try not to care about what he will think, 'cos that doesn't matter, all that matters is what you think. You only got 1 life chick, live it! Peace.
Thanks but it's Josh that cares, not me, about him finding out. Posting that though kinda helped me figure out what was jumbling my thoughts. I don't want to be too introspective because it would be like hiding my head under a rock. But at the same time I need to allow myself to work out whats going on under the surface, ya know. It is taboo for your best friend to hook out with your ex, though I'm sure it happens more than people let on Plus the sex is like 100 times better, and that is definitely a plus!! And to be guilty, I kinda want him to find out, but at the same time I worry how it will affect Josh when, not if, he has to face that reality. He already knows it's gonna end up in a fight, but yet he still comes to my bed.
Yeah, he is obviously going to care, it's his best friends heart he is going to destroy. But then again, Josh may also want to get him back because of the way Chase treated you, now that is a best friend. A true friend will tell him what is right and what is wrong, maybe he's prepared for that, I don't know. It definately happens often, my friend is in a situation similar if not the same to you. Just keep your chin up. You can't have a future if you keep looking to the past.
Exactly, he is right. You just have to do whats in your heart. Don't feel bad at all, if you and Josh have feelings for eachother then I say go with it.
