-i couldnt think of an appropiate title (any suggestions?) but can u tell me what u think of poem blank as the white walls that stand before me heavy as the world that rests oh his shoulders deep in the depths of your shadow you will see your heart darkening as the years make you older every morning you wake to the face of a stranger not remembering the night before you yourself are the ultimate danger and your lifestyle is now a sickness you cannot ignore as the mirror of your soul begings to shatter and the lines of your life fade no longer will you grace the steps of your wooden ladder now you have been assigned and confined to a cage what is lost is gone forever there is no taking back the things you said burried your heart is by the soil of regret that once familiar soul is now dead
There are some parts I really liked here. Regret and loss are universal themes. Just avoid stooping to lecture.
'every morning you wake to the face of a stranger not remembering the night before you yourself are the ultimate danger and your lifestyle is now a sickness you cannot ignore' I related to that stanza... my younger self experimenting with promiscuity, love, life in general... Struck a chord with me! Keep writing.
