Untitled (very mystical)

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by iscreamchocolate, Jan 22, 2005.

  1. iscreamchocolate

    iscreamchocolate Senior Member

    Untitled
    By Damaya

    Tree’s turning to snakes
    Coiling themselves around the sun
    Squeezing out its magical rays
    Making the sun drop its fire
    Onto a lake of shining water
    Turning the lake into a glistening fire bowl
    A fire bowl of emotions
    The fire bowl turning into a circle of water
    The circle spinning faster and faster
    Turning into a purple cloud
    The cloud transforming into a tasteless drink
    A drink sweet but strong
    A drink the color of mortals blood
    A drink that sends you motionless
    Your thoughts are racing
    Your eyes are flickering
    Your temperature flowing between cold and hot
    Until
    Nothing
    Your motionless
    Your mind is mindless
    You sink into nothingness​
     
  2. Rayeine

    Rayeine Member

    very nice, i like it.:)
     
  3. kidder

    kidder Member

    It's a nice example of shape poetry. Love that concrete tree! I like the first part but once you get into creating a drink you lose me. I guess I'm not mystical enough.
     
  4. sylvanlightning

    sylvanlightning Prismatic Essence

    Wonderous, thank you.
     
  5. Burbot

    Burbot Dig my burdei

    sh'es a beaut
     
  6. iscreamchocolate

    iscreamchocolate Senior Member

    thanks guys for the comments :)
     
  7. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

    I loved it. It reminds me of times I've been on drugs. Peace and love...
     

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