Untitled New Poem

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Firebelle, Jan 23, 2005.

  1. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    In the bath, I curse as I cut
    my thigh, suddenly a
    ballerina twirling scarves of blood; surrounds
    a reddening lake
    in which I lay, painfully awake

    Put down the razor
    thrilled and appalled by the dancer
    she whips like a fish and curls
    I dab, flounder, at the flow of a wound
    with such poetry, but no music
     
  2. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

    ~* Only you could take something this mundane and make it picturesque. Thanks sweety and about time too,lol.*~
     
  3. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Ooooh I can see it, Firebelle...

    I love it!!

    'thrilled and appalled by the dancer
    she whips like a fish and curls'

    *delightful shudders*

    blood makes me woozy, but i like this poem anyway.
     
  4. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Thankyou. I have to say I don't think the subject matter is mundane, I mean it is in a way but, after all...blood is life, and life is far from mundane! It is the poetry of life! (How bad does that sound!)
     
  5. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

    LOL, well maybe mundane to me cause a the way I shave my legs...theres damn good odds I will be bleeding. Wreckless hair removal, hehe
     
  6. Rafaela

    Rafaela Member

    I really enjoyed the imagery
     
  7. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

    As a poem it was wonderful, but the thought of my beloved firebell cutting herself is most unpleasant to me. You are such a wonderful person, so alive, so fresh and young and positive, such depressed deeds dont become you.
     
  8. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

    Bravo! For a second I thought it was about suicide, but I'm glad you brought it round. P.S. Try wax;)
     
  9. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Oh Scorpion, that's funny :) I did worry people might think it was related to suicide in some way, but let me reassure you it's nothing but my clumsiness! Don't worry Bhaskar, it didn't really hurt, like Momchild said it's actually a regular occurence. Women and their vanity, eh? If only I was one of those hippies who didn't bother with the drudgery of shaving, and kept my body lush as a rainforest :) Oh and by the way Scorpion...have you ever tried wax? Because believe me, wax brings its own brand of pain! One, two, three, altogether...RIP...OUCH!!! ;)

    X Mwah! X
     
  10. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Oh, and another thing...does anybody have ideas for a title I could attribute to this? I hate leaving peoms untitled!

    Much Love XxX
     
  11. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

    Thanks Firebelle. My other 'alf does bikini lines, so although I can't say I have the experience of the pain involved, I have an idea. Anyway, she's a ninja master at it so there's minimal pain when she does her customers. Please don't turn into a hippy forest of hairs. I know we're a sexist society at best, ruled by fashion whims and Alan Partridge clones, but your femininity is precious and appeals to one and all. Everyone can admire a woman. And they should. But they can't if she turns into Chewbacca. I know that's a sexist thing to say, but as a species I don't think I'm being negative in saying that we're a long way from evolving to something less superficial. OK, I've said enough poo-poo so here's a few ideas for a title:
    1) A close shave.
    2) To Bic or not to Bic.
    3) Beauty is in the eye of the laser hair remover.
    4) Beauty is only skingraft deep.
    PS. How's my old town? I ain't been there for donks.
     
  12. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Yeah, I wax my bikini line - I'm no expert, but it doesn't really hurt. Shaving-cuts when immersed in soapy bath water, now that stings like a bitch! In fact, it hurts enough to cause me heartache...hence the poem ;) I won't turn into 'a hippy forest of hairs' although I must say that sounds appealing! I like the feel of my skin when smooth and unencumbered by hair (though I know what Freud would say about my preference for hairlessness!) I can appreciate a woman who doesn't shave, however, and find her immensely beautiful in spite of - or because of - her hairy state.

    Thanks for the titles, they're hilarious! If I may, I will show them to my friend and see what she thinks.

    P.P.S. Your old town? You mean London? I'm confused! (It doesn't take much ;) ).

    X
     
  13. White Scorpion

    White Scorpion 4umotographer

    I was born there. Went to Greece. Came back. Stayed 20 odd years in Camberwell, Blackheath, Brixton, Streatham, Arnos Grove, Swiss Cottage and West Hamsptead. Got fed up and now live in a small village in Greece. Still I miss my fish n' chips, British TV, the pubs, the theatre, getting on the bus and sitting on the top deck, going out for an Indian, going to White Hart Lane to see my team get stuffed, listening to Caesar the Geezer on the radio, going to Chinatown to eat etc. Amazing place. By the time you've seen it all, it's all changed. Can I presume that you're studying something to do with psychology(ref.Siegmund)? If so, good luck. Fascinating subject.
     
  14. browneydgrl

    browneydgrl Member

    beautiful imagery. i could picture the entire scene perfectly. wundaful!
     
  15. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Thanks Browneydgrl! I have to ask, would you want to picture the scene really? You know, of somebody shaving in the bath and then swearing themselves silly when the razor cuts deep? At the time I wrote the poem I was all seriousness, but now it just makes me giggle for some reason...thinking back to something like that, and how it inspired me to write, just seems a little crazy :)

    And 'Scorpion, now I know what you mean, yes London is just fine! Though I don't actually live in London, more Brighton. Nevertheless I love our Capital, from its red telephone boxes and double-deckers to the tourists in Oxford Street and the boutiques in Covent Garden, and the pubs and theatres and whatnot...*sigh* I was at The Palladium just the other day, I went to see 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' :) Excellent stuff. Oh and Chinatown! I adore the way you can walk straight into it and it feels like a whole other place, presumably somewhere in China (though what would I know?) I've never been. I could wax lyrical about London all day...but I won't.

    And no, I ain't doing no psychology...I have done it in the past, but not to any real depth. Doesn't everyone know Freud?

    X
     
  16. Firebelle

    Firebelle Member

    Shit, sorry that message was full of mistakes. Hopefully you'll know what I meant!
     

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