Life in general was on my mind, so I wrote this. There is no title because I couldn't be bothered creating one, it is just as it is on its own. Let me know what you think. We are all ghosts, whether we know or not. Lost, searching for some answers in desperation. Wandering in our own cosmos. The unwitting sheep follow appraisal of others beliefs. Convinced of the guiding light at the end of this seemingly pointless realm. Ready to do or undo to others in the waking hour of judgment. To be swept away by the hand of god. Their lack of knowledge is substituted with belief to give them consolation. A better understanding of the unknown; warm conviction. But the shepherds are just as blind as the sheep. Their guess is as good as yours. Nothing may be something but there’s always nothing. And to deliver here the idea that there is something is nothing at all. There needs not to be substance. We are all ghosts, whether we know or not. Lost, searching for some answers in desperation. But are there answers? Or is our own reality all we need? Life is only what it is made to be.
This was pretty good man, I agree with what you're saying here, and I like the repetition at the end of the first stanza. It really fits in well. Two things bother me, though; one minor one major. The minor thing is you say "But the shepherd is just as blind as the sheep/their guess is as good as yours" but you should say "his" not "their" as you only named one shepherd. The major thing is, the ending, for me, was weak compared to the rest of the poem. "life is only what it is made to be." sounds an awful lot like that cliche: life is what you make of it. Based on other poems I've read by you, I feel you could do better. I hope you understand I'm not flaming or bashing you or your poem.
I like it. It's a lot like the way i write sumtimes with a sense of seeking the truth and knowing it's somehow outta reach or if there even is one. And at the end i don't think ur sayin life is wat u make it b/c that statement holds goals and hope. I think u might be kindof indifferent when u say "Life is only what it is made to be". Am i close.
Yes, I meant life is as great or as big of a deal as you make it to be. You can make it pointless or create purpose. You can just go with the flow or think your life as some sort of meaning to it.
Thanks for pointing out the singular plural mistake, it always seems no matter how many times I read things over it takes another person to read it and find the mistakes lol.
Preachy, does anyone else find it preachy? Maybe I'm just uptight but it sounded like a long attack on organized religion and an entire way of thinking. I mean, you can do that, but it's a lame subect for a poem, IMO. And the sheep metaphor is violently cliche. It's a fine idea you have, but it's hardly novel. I kinda like the ghost thing though.
Well the point in writing sometimes is to give your view, when I write I dont hold back so I dont offend someone. Dont know if you are religous or not, but if you are and didn't like the topic then so be it. But you are entitled to your opinion just as much as I am entitled to mine. Thanks for the reply.
I like the way the poem wuz done. I luv ppl who aren't affraid 2 hurt sum1's feelings or make ppl upset. Damn rite u have the right 2 say wats on ur mind no matter wat others think. I commend u Imagine17
