I need to have a little ramble about my current relationship - maybe you guys can shed some light on what I should do or even your opinions - I met my current partner in late 2006, we were friends for a little while before he started to ignore me (for reasons unknown to myself). We started talking again late last year and started seeing one another shortly after. We've been dating for about 8 months, and it’s taken him all of that time to find a job (after I had a huge rant at him – he’s incredibly lazy). We never go out anywhere together because he never has any money and never wants to go out. Our sex life? None existent. I have to make all the moves, he never does to me. I’ve never been on a proper date with him, in fact our first “date” was a drink at a pub before he took me around an electronics store to find a cable for his stereo. Oh, and he asked me for bus fare home. I just feel like there’s no effort between us, no passion or anything. We’re more like friends. I really care for him but I don’t feel happy, I just feel like I’m dating a loser who only cares when I tell him I feel neglected. I don’t know if I want to continue it, I kinda feel like its ran its course and its time to move on. But part of me feels bad, because he treats me well. What do you guys make of this?
ditch him. people don't change unless they want to. i doubt he will turn into a hopeless romantic with a good work ethic.
Ditto. And it's really not a matter of who's right or who's wrong. It's a matter of who's happy and who's not.
um, so, why are you with him? all you got are (legitimate) complaints... i dont see any reasons for you two to be together from waht youve said so far
In the words of Snoop Doggy Dogg Drop it like its hot... you're wasting your time on a loser. He's probably nice, but that's clearly not good enough. There's like half a billion good men out there looking for a good woman. don't settle if you think it's not cuttin' it, it's probably not. btw if you feel neglected, he's probably not actually treating you that well...I like that you are honest and not overly demanding but according to what you've said he just isn't putting the necessary effort in. So drop him, if he can't change for you he doesn't want you enough.
Thanks for all your advice - Austinn, he's 26 years old. It's pretty pathetic really that it took me - a 20 year old - to boot him up the ass into finding a job. It's really making me evaluate this relationship. I don't ask for much, but I seem to be in a habit of getting into relationships with jobless guys who sponge off me. I need to set my sights higher.
My advice:Kick him to the curb...people rarely change. If there are rocks in the bed you'll never be happy. I have been married 25 years and my husband is my best friend. Don't marry anyone unless they are your best friend and you can talk about anything and everything!
26 year old dude, has no job until recently, doesn't want to have sex, no passion, no effort, sponges off you. you probably would do yourself a favor by moving on.
