Hello, I am a 19 year old lad who until recently has considered myself 100% straight but recently I have been having thought about men and having sex with them. These thoughts happen generally when I am masturbating and these thoughts are quite intense and whilst I still fancy girls I am still finding men a huge turn on. I am so confused at the moment as I feel I may be bi-sexual but I am finding that hard to accept. I have never have any sexual encounters with any girls so I am a virgin but until the past years my thoughts and fancy’s have all been girls but now boys are starting to cloud my mind and I am pretty sure that before I die I want to have sex with a man and give oral sex to a man. I feel like I am at a crossroads and I am struggling work out what way I want to go with my life. I have had problems recently in other parts of my life and people think all my frustration is about that but some of my frustration is the issues I have with my sexuality and to be fair I am bottling this all this up as I have told no-one about my issues until now. Any help or advice would be helpful Cheers Torres
Hey Torres..........Hoping this isn't an over obvious suggestion, have you considered counseling? Perhaps a nonjudgmental third party outside of friends and family members may bring you ease enough to share what's going on with you along with a possibility of some helpful feedback. I know I've been able to have great counseling experiences during times of trials and tribulations. BTW (in my opinion) you’re COMPLETLY normal, having questions and concerns, going through life and self discovery isn't a breeze for anyone!..........PS If you ask, a lot of counselors will work within your budget, if that is a concern for you.
Hey Fernando Impressive first post! You are bi-curious. Just enjoy yourself and quit worrying about your sexual preference. That shit doesn't matter.
It may help to consider the nature of sexual orientation here. For yourself, you are, who you are. A changing being, registering and wondering about the changes. Having a firmly established sexual orientation seems to be a great idea at this time. When you come to think about it, to you, this should not matter. You are sexual and will enjoy your sexuality depending on the actual situation you are in or depending on the context you have helped to create. For all the other people, having a declared and firmly defined sexual orientation seems to be a desirable thing, too. Yet, when it comes to real life situations, the matter is of little relevance altogether. If you have a sexual encounter with a girl, she will perceive you as being a straight guy. Conversely, if you have sex with another male, he will perceive you as being gay. Even if you establish very firm sexual orientation as being a very straight male, the matter is of relevance only to the girls you find attractive enough to get involved with. Your "straightness" to everybody else is really of anecdotal importance only. Equally so, you may grow to be totally gay which still does not go on to say that you will find all the men who may be interested in you, attractive enough to date, have sex with, etc. Putting it very plainly, having a very defined sexual orientation is a vastly overrated issue. KD
For your age this is normal, .. I had this doubt too, so I'm sure that anyone had it like experience behind even the girls! I was talking with my wife for this issue and we share same opinion .. she had this taught with her friend too(other girl), about the age of 16, and they even were kissing like mad, so my wife ended wondering is she a lesbian ... ? So I think that you shouldn't worry so much it will pass and you will laugh with it some day ! The people like adventures, exploring things and places, some of us less some more !
I say live your life however you see fit. Labels are not that important. The way I see it labels are just that labels. I have to agree with Xlear you might want to consider counseling it might help to have a nonjudgmental party to talk about this with. In my option you are normal. Its normal to be unsure about things like this. I know on thing that helped me when I first figured out that I was bisexual was the help and support of my friends and what family members that I have that know. I hope it all works out for you!!
Nothing to fear. To some extent, a lot of people have bi-curious desires — to varying degrees, of course. Last summer I officially declared myself bi-curious. While masturbating, I began having thoughts of guys and it was such an incredible turn on. I then began to use a toy (I'll let you figure out where). It was an incredible experience and I never once felt terrible or worried about my identity. I saw it as a new chapter in my life and a whole new window of experiences. Don't be afraid. Explore for a while and see where it takes you. If you decide to go all the way with a guy, always practice safely. If you find you don't like it, then so be it. Life is a journey.
Yes, bloody counseling- regardless of one's age. Having a neutral third party to share openly with and receive helpful feedback (IMO) is a helpful, resourceful choice; Regardless of the person's age or situation. All I'm saying is if anyone at any time feels a lack of emotional support during any circumstance counseling is a positive option.
