Unsatisfied husband

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by JoeyTribbiano, Feb 19, 2019.

  1. The OP was looking at porn and caught by the spouse after just having a child. Psychologically the new mother is affected by this as if she is not good enough to please her man. She went through a major body change from before pregnancy, through the growth of a child in her womb, to postpartum and not returning to her prior physical self. Her thought is the porn women are better than she and he wants them over me. It's because my body isn't good enough since childbirth. Then when she thinks he should have stopped with the enjoyment of porn and he hadn't the mental attitude deepens in that she is not desirable. No matter how she is treated the deep psychological image of herself compared to porn women is there. She has the feeling of being undesirable and only as a tool for his enjoyment after the porn fantasy has him wanting relief. Her hormones are raging in all different directions as her body recovers from childbirth and she nurtures the baby. Breastfeeding, cleaning, caring, protecting, and not knowing what comes next with the child as she has no experience being a mother. All of this works on her mental outlook and the one thing that put her in this position, sex, is something she wants no part of right now. Each new mother needs time to recover from childbirth and every woman is different in how they recover. Some take longer than others.

    The OP's spouse needs space but yet she needs to be nurtured as well. Give her the space and time to get her new life in order. Continue with the help around the home, support emotionally as in "the touches, cuddles, arm wrapping & love all the time." Refrain for asking for her to have sex with you for now. Tell her how beautiful she is as a new mother. Ask what you can do to help. Hide any thoughts or actions you have about being satisfied sexually. It's not that you can't watch porn and masturbate. If you must do it do so without her knowing or finding out. As she nurtures your new child and settles into motherhood her body will return, not fully but will return, to wanting sexual relations in the future. Bide your time and when she is ready you may not be able to keep up with her.

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