10 years for my hubby and I. Wasn't exactly peaches and cream in the beginning, he's 4 years older than I, however he acted at least 4 years younger than when I first met him, I swear. But anyway, it's odd because normally it's early in the relationship that tends to be the best times, but I think it was the opposite for us, believe it or not. Anyway, Annie, are you concerned that you're becoming too comfortable as in a monotonous or predictable manner? Or that you're afraid you've put so much of yourself into the relationship that you're fearful of becoming too comfortable only to have things not work out like you may have hoped for?
I think it's becoming very predictable...almost robotic... Have you ever felt that way in your relationship?
Absolutely. Any long term relationship will have moments like that. I think the best thing to do is do something out of the ordinary, spice things up. Like if the two of you could get some time off of work, take a vacation together. Spend the time concentrating on one another, and nothing else. Too many times in life we've got so many other responsibilities and thoughts going on that we can end up taking our loved ones for granted and we just ramble on through the days, one day just mirroring the next. Devoting time just for the two of you in a different setting can rekindle what brought the two of you together in the first place. When you really think about it, almost everything in life can become predictable. I mean heck, we wake up every morning, many times the same time each day, we get ready to do what we've got to do, whether it be work, school, whatever. We eat, we sleep, we shower, we dress. Those are all predictable patterns too.
I don't know...it's like, when I'm with him, it's the same old stuff, we do the same old stuff together and we say the same old stuff. We're a lot alike and we don't really get into any good debates or too stimulating of conversation. When I'm without him I truely miss him, when I'm with him, it's almost like I'm not really interested in doing stuff with him...I don't know...it's weird. I feel like it's a lot of monotony...and I'm not that kind of person.
You're concerned about the loss of "excitement", how things have changed and become more like a comfy worn shoe I'll bet. Maybe you might not look at one another like you used to, or maybe you might not be all starry eyed every time you're together, and maybe your heart doesn't race like it once did. I went through worrying about that myself a couple of years ago. But luckily I had a few "seasoned" women who made me see that yes, things had changed, but it didn't have to be a negative thing. It's all in how you perceive it really. {{{Hugs}}}
Well, I think it all depends on what you want from a relationship. If you're not really happy deep down inside, or you feel dissatified with the path in which things have been going, maybe you need to examine whether or not you really want to continue in the relationship for the long haul so to speak. It's obvious that you love him, so you've got that on your side! Now it's just figuring out what you really want. What I'm thinking is, you miss the rush. That's natural. What you need to work on is finding ways to enjoy this new stage of your relationship.
We've had times like that, too, when everything's routine. I reckon you should take a vacation together, like HCM said, or just go out and do something; go seee a band or go for a bushwalk, picknick or whatever you are into, just go out and have fun together once a week or something, but make it different times, if you're free, so that doesn't become a routine, too. good luck.
uh oh is right- i had an uh oh moment a couple months ago and now that its over its REALLY uh oh, i dont know what to do with myself.
Ah, I see...well that makes things different. Have you spoken to your bf about this an gotten his point of view on it? Honestly, perhaps it's time to move on if none of those things are bringing you closer. Only other suggestion is a romantic night in, but I have the feeling that you've already tried, that, that you've tried everything you can think of, now, am I right?
what is wrong with comfortable? Why do you want to be uncomfortable. Isnbt that what most coupkes work to achieve... comfort zone?
I think Annie's saying she's getting bored, am I right about that, Annie? That's how it's coming across to me, now, anyways.
