Discussion in 'Relationships' started by nimh, Feb 1, 2005.
this is the thread about twin flames...
okayyy...can you expand on that a bit? what's your take on twin flames?
hm, the chart wont copy over...
and another site...
at some point we were/are/will be pure energy and we all came from the same source... a thousand points of light and all that.
twin flames are like one of those points of light that split into identical twins. soulmates are multiple splits from the same group of light or energy or whatever you want to call it. we all have many soulmates, but only one twin flame.
Our 1st date was Dec.13 2003, we're 13 years apart in age, she was 26 (13 * 2), I was 39 (13 * 3). Though we were together only 3 months, there was a Friday the 13th in there. When I asked her age she told me to guess, & I said "I bet I moved off Vanc. Isle (she was born there) before you were born", ( I moved when I was 13 years old). She asked when I moved, I said July 2, 77, she was born July 10, 77. My mom, Elna's birthday, July 13. My mom died the night of Mar. 20, at the age of 52 (13 * 4), Eileen was hit the morning of Mar. 19. Our moms both died from chronic alcoholism. That night the urge to find Eileen & befriend her came over me with such urgency that I knew I had to. The impulse to make sure I found her that night & do whatever I could to make sure we became friends was overwhelming, & unique. I'd never had anything come over me like that before. I refused to hit on her, being friends was too important. We both tried to hide our strong feelings. We'd only spoken 6 times in 1 ½ years, each too shy to say how we felt, & both sure the other wouldn't be interested. The need to find her that night was something I wondered about a lot fterwards, & told her about it many times before her injury. Our time together was like we were on a mission to spend every second together. We both practically feared being apart. I told her many times that I'd enjoyed the short time we'd been together more than all 39 years before, & that if something happened tomorrow, like she decided to walk out, I would not regret a second of our time together. She was constantly worried I'd change my mind about her. If she didn't know where I was sometimes she'd panic, & it would take me half an hour to calm her down, she was so worried.. We both acted like we had no time to waste, & talked about how we could not imagine anything keeping us apart. We both assured each other practically daily that come what may we were going to do whatever it took to stay together, no matter what. So, although we both felt this incredible love we were sure nothing could tear apart, we both worried about something happening, & talked about it a lot. She said she'd never felt like she was at home before she moved in with me. I told her the day she moved in that every single thing was half hers, including the actual condo. & that I meant even if she moved out the next day. She said she would never take a thing, & was always giving me little gifts. We shared many synchronicities each day. It was a 90 day waking fantasy. We couldn't get enough of each other, & were working on how we could be together 24/7. I didn't sleep much at all for that 3 months. I constantly wrote her poems, 15 in 3 months, when I'd written 4 or 5 for my ex in 5 years. I've had more dreams with Eileen in them in 5 months than in 5 years with my ex. & the 1st one was about the end of the world, yet we were both content to lie on the grass & gaze into each others eyes as the Earth's atmosphere dissipated into space. She said I was like a mirror to her. We agreed on so many things, it was a challenge to find differences, & we spent a lot of time trying to find things we differed on. She likes liver & peas, I don't. I like spicy food. She's afraid of heights, I'm not. We tried to find more but that's all I recall. I must've asked her 100 questions the 1st month, as they came to me, where my ex & I differed. We agreed on every one. We both had fantasies we'd wanted to fulfill for many years, & we did. It was not like real life. It was too good. I think that's what worried us both. We'd hold each other & both cry some nights we were so insecure. I said yes without a pause when she proposed, I didn't have to think. & having a woman propose to me was something I'd hoped for all my life, so of course it was her that did it. We both used to get drunk at lunch time in grade 6. How many kids do you know that did that? There were a million things like that. We were both beyond each other's dream partner. The 1st night she stayed over, I had the best sleep I'd had in memory, which I needed since I didn't sleep much after that. We were both trying to outlove the other, discreetly, of course. She amazes me every day still. When she let me know her feelings were more than friendship, I was already ahead of my goal. Yet each day she'd do something else that made me love her more. Today it was sitting up in bed so that for the 1st time in 9 weeks I could hold her in my arms. We both constantly thought about what we could do & did whatever we could do for each other. & that was all we wanted to do. About 4 days after the accident, I opened the closet where all my climbing & hiking, snowshoeing gear is, which is always just a big pile, & it was all organized. That broke my heart. We were never angry at each other for more than half an hour, & then it was like nothing had happened the next moment. I wondered why none of my other ex's & I could not do that. She knew EXACTLY what made me happiest, cuz usually the same thing made her happiest. We talked with our eyes, or in perfect stereo many times a day. We'd say the same thing in the same words, at the same speed, same tone, at the exact same time, or a fraction of a second off. At 1st it bugged us both. We didn't dare show sadness cuz we knew the other would instantly feel the same. We were very protective of each other, looking out for each other like you would a baby, from our 1st date we were like that. I know she'd have taken a bullet for me, & was practically eager to, I could see it, & besides I was ready to do the same. We both could not say I love you enough times a day, & never got tired of hearing it. She'd unlock & open the car door for me. We both never missed a you're welcome or a bless you, never mind a thank you. She's the only person more vigilantly polite than me I've met. We're both gentle, yet we've both been in many fights, & are both pretty tough. I saw how serious she became the second she knew someone was bothering me. I was the same, ready to take on the world at a moments notice. There was a constant underlying sense of urgency in our relationship; we acted like we were trying to meet a deadline every day. The day she got hit, my bike broke down 200 yards before where she was hit. A piece of aluminum as thick around as my thumb snapped off like nothing. Practically came off in my hands. She said I should walk my bike up to the gas station & she'd get her friend to come pick me up.It was only 200 yards ahead, but I said I would rather just walk my bike back home 1 1/2 miles in the rain instead, As she rode off she called out " Love You!", & I called back " I Love You!" both of our voices echoed off the buildings. I am glad I didn't see the car hit her. We both loved each other as we were, unconditionally, & didn't expect or require the other to change in any way. We were both motivated to find out what we could change about ourselves to please the other, & then did it. We were totally at ease & comfortable together that 1st night like we'd been best friends all our lives. It felt right, like we belonged together and had finally reunited after a very long absence. We knew each other that well, that soon.
When the ambulance went by me as I walked my bike home I thought `I sure hope that's not for her', then thought nah it couldn't be. She had been hit by a pick up truck four blocks up that same road two years ago, & almost died. It didn't make the corner & came up on the sidewalk, & if it hadn't hit a lamppost would have killed her. She had broken ribs, a broken hip, & other injuries. Witnesses called her the miracle girl. That was why I felt sure it could not be for her. Just as I have seen so many times before, when I'm absolutely certain, & would argue it to the death, I'm wrong. Pride goeth before a fall.
Yesterday, May 30th, Eileen said `hi' & then was saying hi to everyone who entered the room. She is now like a strong, 100 pound baby, & is rapidly healing. I am so proud of her. I call this a miracle. I have had at least half a dozen premonition dreams. Two days ago, I remembered a dream I had over 8 years ago, (5+ years before I met Eileen) where I was in a department store with the Fresh Prince & I held a black baby girl in my arms, I asked Will Smith if she was his & he laughed & said no. I wondered who's baby she was, & when I looked into her eyes I saw crystal snowflake things that were sparkling. She then spoke to me, & I thought to myself that this baby is special, babies don't talk. I never understood what that dream meant. Eileen has the most incredible dark brown eyes I have ever seen. Scary there is so much power in there. My girlfriend at the time I had the dream is black, same as the baby, & now Eileen, my partner, my fiancee, is like a baby, & when she said her first words last Friday night, it hit me. I no longer wonder. Ken
June 6th, Eileen is improving quickly, although she disagrees, & shakes her head when I tell her so. tonight she said many words, "more, please, yes, no, juice, candy, pudding( pretty slurred but recognizable,) & F___ off! which was recognizable by her one finger salute to go with it. Two things that stood out the most, she said what I thought was I love you, so I asked if that was what she said & she said yes. I told her she has a long hard battle ahead of her, & she said yes. I said, but you decided to come back anyways didn't you?, & she said yes. I asked why baby why?, & she said 'For you.' Ken
June 11th: Well, Wednesday night I went to see Eileen & said I love you like I always do, but this time she answered back, I love you twice, & then said kiss kiss. We hac a great visit, but it didn't end well. I have been giving her juice & pop, against the therapists orders. No thin fluids, she might choke. I have been doing it every night for two weeks, & sure she does have a hard time with swallowing, but that is why she wants to practice so much. Five days after I started giving her juice, they posted the now juice rule, & I was not happy, cuz she wants juice, so I kept giving it to her...Until wed. night. A nurse reported me, after trying to convince Eileen that she couldn' swallow yet. To which Eileen responded, yes I can. the nurse asked if we knew better than the doctor & Eileen said yes, I said, I have seen Eileen every day for 83 days, the doctor hasn't, so the nurse aslked Eileen, do you think Ken knows more than the doctor, & she said yes. She left the room & went & called security on me. Just before I left Eileen asked me to get a nurse ,s she could be changed. I went & told the nurse, & she said I a had better get going sinc the guards will be making their rounds soon. I went & told Eileen she called securiky on me. THe guard showed up & I had to go. Eileen kept saying no wait a minute. That nurse really upset Eileen that night, & I will not forget. A friend who has had astral contact with Eileen all the way from Texas emailed me that night, Eileen is crying, a night nurse is abusing her, she is very sad. I didn't sleep all night, & called the floor twice & had them check on her.
Yesterday, I asked her how her night was, No good, she said, why not? they're mean!, who? nurse. mean to me. you stay here. but I could not. so I have filed a complaint, & set up some meetings to get this dealt with. Tonight she said the same, take me home, stay here tonight with me, don't go... I can't... The guard that escorted me out didn't even recognize me one day later. I passed her in the stairs, she said how are you? Well, I didn't get kicked out I said. Why would you, she asked? Once i reminded her that 24 hours earlier she'd escorted me out for giving my fiancee juice, she remembered.
Today she talked about going to see ducks, & I said sure when you get better. But then my friend in Portland (250 miles south of here) emailed me tonight to ask if Eileen mentioned going to see the ducks in the park with her, because she really liked it. Yes, she did I replied. This stuff is not surprising me any more. Eileen came to me two weeks ago, , as I was typing out some of my dreams,and asked me if I remembered the dream about us finding a wheelchair in front of the Red Apple Grocery, & me lifting her into it.,,But I didn't remember. Still, I think the fact that I heard her talk to me is the main thing. & she has visited a woman across the country, at work, to talk to her about me. I asked Eileen if she went & visited someone at work & she said yes. Is she nice, I asked. Yes. Now I really do believe her. I always did like that kind of thing though. She wanted me to take her to the bathroom tonight so I carried her from her bed into the bathroom but there was no way I could do all the maneuvers required, so we just hugged for a while & I saw that she can stand up for brief moments
I had a dream that had the name White Bear in it & could not remember anything else, so i thought is must be significant, but couldnt figure it out. 3 weeks later on another site, i went to the This day in Native History board, & looked up the day Eileen got hurt. The Native Legend posted for that day, March 19, 04 is called " The White faced Bear", cool eh?
June 22nd: Eileen said the name Mike at least 5 times, & I did not know why. That night i had a really good chat with a member whose name, I found out later, is Mike. I had not met him before.
July 4: Well, I am so glad that they have moved Eileen out of the hospital, as the nurses there called security on me four times. After the juice incident, I was caught laying on her bed with my arm around her, & her resting her head on my shoulder. Of course we were fully clothed & in full view of three other beds at the time. The policy there was, call security first, ask questions later. If a nurse had even suggested I should not hold my fiancee in my arms as it was against the rules I would have been up in a flash, but no, security had to come. Then security kicked me out 15 mins. past visiting hours, when other nurses let me stay two hours past. The final security breech was to wheel Eileen in her wheel chair across the street. Though we used the crosswalk, & I was watching the vehicles like a hawk guarding its babies, it was a Big mistake, I should have known.I am one of those idiot savants I think, definitely idiot savant, but only on the driveway. My brother calls me rainman. After four security encounters I was shell shocked, so boy am I happy she is out of there. I did some research into names the last few days & came upon more coincidences. I mentioned Eileen's b'day is 3 days before my mom's & she was hit 11 years less 1 day after my mom died. Well my mom;s name was Elna, & when I looked it up on a name website, they had no meaning for it, but suggested other names to try, & of course Eileen was one of them. Next I looked up the name Seena. My grandma had a baby girl a month after I was born & named her Seena. They had no meaning for that name either. Now this is a stretch, but it is true. Eileen told me she did not like her name. SO I asked if she knew that Eileen was Shania Twain's real name. She was happy to hear that. Guess what suggested name came up for Seena? Shania. Seena died of sids at six months, & our families only pics of her are of me & her laying side by side on a bed. Each time I see those pics I feel lucky to be here. Blessings all. Ken
What is it that you fear the most? Elfilosophy
hmmm....possibly the fear of verbalizing your greatest fear for fear of it becoming reality... Lil Deb
Revealing it. Quite the contradiction yes? Purrr.
wow Purrrr.... Lil Deb
hehehe, you two kill me. Now, is that irony? How superstitious can one be?
Of course you are absolutely right, at least in my experience. It is a common occurence for me at work, the moment I say, well, this looks easy, or, this will be no problem, bingo! It turns into a nightmare. It was funny last month, my boss was about to drill his last hole, and said something like that and I remarked that he shouldn't have. He laughed and called me superstitious, then proceeded to drill into so many nails that he gave up on it for that day, and had to go back to finish it! I didn't have the heart to say anything. Lol
I have no fear of revealing my greatest fear, since I am happy to find I have one, if that makes sense. It is the fear of anything tragic happening to my true love, and since it has already happened, I will risk it and bet that there are not any more coming our way..... Ken
Oh ya, the most important point about Eileen's brain injury. Some time in the weeks before her brain injury we talked about what the worst thing that could happen to us was, and agreed that it would be if one of us got a serious brain injury, and also agreed that that was the only thing we both feared.
Coincidence? If not, that is some seriously personalized work by Spirit, and I'd be lying to say it is totally accepted by me. Ken
Separate names with a comma.