Turned on my wife cheated

Years ago my wife cheated. I knew nothing for a while. We then split up due to other reasons. Because we have kids we talked often and i asked if she ever cheated. She said she had. We worked through all our problems and got back together. A few times we have talked about her cheating and it has occasionally ended in sex as it really turns me on. We have discussed this and she knows it turns me on but with me asking questions she is fed up with it and now it is an issue in our relationship. Have any of you got any advice so i can move forward with our relationship. There is lots of stuff going on with this and how i feel. However i want the relationship to work, but i cant seem to get the thought of it out of my mind. Any help?

 

Yeah, years ago I got my wife (of 6 yrs then) to tell me some things about her one guy who fucked her for 2 yrs. Turned me on also. Then she shut it off. I just had to let it go for the last 28 yrs. I brought it up again few months ago and after a few episode of questions, like yours, she got testy and irritated with it. I suppose the moral for you here is, just let it go for now and work on the relationship, there'll probably be some time years from now to bring it up again, but for now,....fucking let it go or there won't be a 'years from now'

 

How did you manage it let ot go though. Thats the bit im struggling with. I can go for sometime without bringing it up then all of a sudden i will have an urge to ask questions even though i know i shouldnt.

 

Tighten up, buddy! Do a 'thread search' for the thread "wifes past". Then let reading the others of us and our experiences do for your imagination for now. Go and have a wank or two. But let it go for now with your wife's. Don't fuck it up just for now. You've got bigger rabbits to chase.

 

My wife is cheating on me at the moment and it turns me on.

 

Get a life. Forget her. Go for pussy everyday. Things will immediately lighten up for you. Let me know

 

My first wife cheated on me twice. Well, twice that i consider cheating. We were only married like 3 years. About a year into it she got a new job and started working late. She admit later that she wasn’t working late and that she was having sex with a coworker. She waited to tell me when we were swinging with another couple. She didn’t tell me in the middle of a swinging session persay. We were at the other couples house. We had all had much to drink. We had all the lights off and were watching a movie. Wife was feeling frisky and started going down on me. Halfway she said, “Hey honey, wanna know a secret?” I said, “What’s that?” She said, “You know Steve that I work with?” I said, “I don’t know him but I’ve seen him. Why?” She said, “I’ve been fucking him.” Natalie, the other wife said, “You fucked Steve? When?” Kate said, “Couple months ago. Company party.” She said, “That’s the reason you snuck off!!” The other time was about 3 months before we separated. She had been fucking a guy the 3 months before we separated. Like 3-4 times a week.

My current wife, I don’t consider any of it cheating. Yes, she has sex with other men and some women. She does some of it with my knowledge and some without. At my age now, cheating is a mental thing. She has sex with other men for physical pleasure. I’m not home because I’m at work. Or she just wants a different experience. She’s not in love with them. She doesn’t date them. Just sex

 

Forgive one another for simply being human, and don't look back. You're not going that way.

 

If she's testy when you bring it up, it's because she feels guilty about it. Try to help her feel okay with it. Also it may bring back bad memories for her. Maybe you can ferret those out. And she may be concerned that you're looking for justification to go cheating yourself. So that's another potential aspect to investigate.

 

In my wife's case, these are exactly why.

"...because she feels guilty about it...." and "... may bring back bad memories for her...."

Coming from a rigid, straight-laced country background, and still virginal at 27-28, then because of lonelyness, letting this guy fuck her 3-4 x week for two yrs, but never going out or dating, there's a strong guilt factor there. And I'm sure there are some bad memories as well, such as when she's said how he anal-ized her with no lube.

Fortunately, after all these years together, I can now tease and joke with her about it. Sometimes I hug her and call her, 'my little semen pouch'. I've also told her if I ever meet that guy, I'll break his jaw for him.

 

When my wife and I were dating in college, we agreed that we could date others because we only saw each other once or twice a month. I knew she would fool around, and I wasn't surprised to find hickeys on her tits, but she swore she wasn't having sex with them. After we married, she told me the truth...that she had sex on a regular basis with other men. If I had known about it when it was happening, I probably would have broken up with her. Since it was in the past and she was mine, I was surprised to find that it turned me on to think about those guys having sex with her.

 

"...she had sex on a regular basis with other men. If I had known about it when it was happening, I probably would have broken up with her...."

My situation was the opposite. If she'd have been the virginal country-bumpkin that I'd then have to deal with, I probably would have passed. Now I didn't know the specifics until years later in the marriage, but for those four years together before that, I'd noticed she'd certainly lose her mind when she got my dick in her. Probably a response to finally being treated properly.

"...that it turned me on to think about those..."

Now if I could just get her to tell me more of the specifics.......

 

Did you get over it or does she tell you about her encounters?

 

She has mentioned the fact she thinks i want to cheat or hold it against her, this is why i need to get over it

 

Message me

 

I got over it and she tells me about her encounters. I enjoy the stories.

 

Of course. Our imagination of our good, fully-grown woman, and dutiful wife, being in a less-formal, purely-physical situation, conjures up some great mental images.

It does for me anyway.

 

The turn on for me is the anti-establishment expression of rebellion against an unthinking hard system of people who want to control others and act like they think they know what's best for everyone else under every circumstance.
That and she's enjoying herself.

Not much for the kind who go behind their partners' backs or step out for vengeful reasons.

 

That's the usual female reaction. They are deeply insecure beings. Even into adulthood. Needing frequent reassurance, even with those in positions of authority (as my wife).

One of the oldest methods known for us males is this, "Touch them 10 times a day". No, not sexually. Just casually, in passing or a hug or some other way. It triggers some sort of subconcious, ingrained response.

And, yes, it's difficult to get it past that initial emotion-based reaction, even possibly not. So, work with what you've got for now, but try the technique for awhile. FWIW.

 

So far all I've gotten is the story of the devirginalization. (which was interesting). And just today, "I just remember he was long and thin compared to you."