trying to read her signs and body language....

Ok here is my problem.

At what the majority the posters here would call “college” this chick sits next to me in this cubical area and starts studying next to me. I notice something about her and start commenting on it, and basically we start talking about random stuff for 30 or so minutes – she leaves because she has a exam coming up and needs to study fair enough.

I see her in nearly the same place a few days later and again we have a very good conversation, even the librarian tells us to keep it down. In both conversations I think I made her laugh a lot, and everything seems good. I think I even mentioned to her once that she is young intelligent and pretty girl. Anyway I manage to get her mobile number.

A week later I ask her for a “friendly bite and drink and a few laughs”, she organised the time and date for when she was free, the day arrives I go to the place and 30 minutes later she tells me she cant make it because she is tired from work. Fair enough.

I text her again next week and ask if she wants to meet up again, she says yes and again organises the venue and time, it is at a college bar.

The day arrives I meet her, buy her drinks and food all day. The conversation is great, we talked for 3 hours. However I think it went to good… as in the friend zone good.
Basically I feel like I could talk to her about anything, we discussed sports, travelling, horror movies, then to silly subjects like aliens and body parts/gore (don’t ask), and then the awkward part about relationships and stuff like that.

I remember she told me that she prefers bad boys over nice guys as they have more confidence, but in the end of the day she said she wanted to be treated like how nice guys would treat a girl. Im not really to sure why this was brought up….. unless I was going into the dreaded friend zone.

Also i forgot to mention that when we first met and as we entered the bar she asked if it was ok if her 2 friends could join us later on, I agreed but later on she reveals that they lost their ID cards or something, I am beginning to wonder if these 2 “friends” even were going to come, and if they were really going to join us then im thinking it’s a sign that she sees me as a friend only….

There were some good signs I think, she said I looked younger then what I really was, brining up future events and partys she said that we should go together (as a joke maybe) and when asking about her cooking she said that one of these days she will have to cook for me, again this could all be jokes and “fun talk”.

I managed to build the courage and ask her if she was single, I forgot what answer she exactly gave me but I remember she didn’t really answer the question, and when I asked her again she said she was single. I then had the courage to tell her that I thought it was amazing that a beautiful and intelligent girl like her was single. I think I told her that she was pretty/beautiful about 5 times – maybe a over kill I think. I cant remember what her expression was.

Another problem is that she broke up with her boyfriend about 4 months ago as he had to go back to his home country, and they tried the long distance thing and it didn’t work. She kept bringing him up a few times and it made me feel like crap.

So basically it was time for her to go to class, and on the way out I told her that I really enjoyed the day and we should do it again. She said that would be good. I remember when we were getting close to her class with all the students outside the class it seemed like she was in a rush to get away from me, and I think when she said good bye I don’t think she looked back. I believe a few moments before that she said that she would call me, but I find that hard to believe.


So yeah, I came away with mixed emotions, both positive and negative signs.

Im thinking maybe to text her again for another meet up, and if it goes well ask her if we can catch up at a movie or dinner. But the problem is unless I am very certain a girl likes me I don’t have the courage to ask them out. I feel that if I don’t try asking her out soon and we keep meeting up I will be shelved into the friend zone.

Also I sent this girl a friend request on facebook after our lunch and she accepted, I see that she still talks to her ex bf once in a while, and ends all conversations with xxx(kisses). The ex bf is really playing on my mind, he is a very good looking, very rich person who is much taller then me, I feel like I cant compete with him

The other thing is that when we met at the bar she was slightly taller then me because of high heels, maybe its my insecurities but I think it might have put her off. I believe I am taller then her by a bit when she does not have high heels…

So whats every ones opinion? Do I have a decent shot? When it’s a random chick that I don’t care about im not to fussed on getting rejected, but when I like a chick, its hard because I don’t want to make it awkward if she rejects me….

Thanks and sorry for the long post

 

Ya know, just saying, but maybe /you're/ too good for this chick?

 

Attitude is everything. Listen..good guy..bad guy shit really doesn't matter. Confidence can go a long way. And...being in the friend zone could be a good thing....it most often leads to more. If you really feel that you deserve to be with this woman...let that be your confidence to kick up your game. She obviously likes you on some level...she gave you the right phone number..lol. I say ask her out...even her friends too...in the long run...it doesn't matter who she brings..she's coming to meet you.

 

did you make any sort of a move at the bar? if not, you're probably already in the friend zone, although it may not be too late just yet. if you haven't made your intentions clear yet though, you need to do so AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

just curious, what do you call what we would call "college?"

it has never ever led to more. ever.

 

Welcome to the wonderful world of dating! Insecurities, butterflies, mixed emotions, mindless spiraling of thoughts...

I guess all I can say is dont let your insecurities stop you (like wondering about her ex's appearance) from TRYING! Ask yourself this: If I dont ask her out, will I regret it for the rest of my life? Maybe yes, maybe no, but for sure, maybe.

 

The friend zone only exists if you let it.

But do make it clear that you have a sex drive. If you aren't the type to blatantly hit on her, ask her a sex-related question, or tell her a sex-related story (not one that makes you look bad), if you really can't think of one, tell her something is sexy, her shirt, her eyes, her legs, that look she just made, anything.

She wants a guy with confidence. Be a guy with confidence. What she doesn't know won't hurt you -- she can't see any worries you're having.

 

bff... pretend to be gay and help her change. it's a last resort but eh.

 

women subconsciously look for men who are confident, because this man will be a provider for their children etc. being the nice guy drip, it really don't work.

 

Hi,

Well i am not sure if you would call it a move, but basically i told her how it was strange that a young beautiful, intellegent and hard working girl like her was single. I also told her that she was pretty/beautiful about another 5 times during the 3 hour conversation. I would think that if a guy did this to a girl and paid for her drinks and lunch the signs would be obvious...

When you say make my intentions clear, do you mean actually just tell her that i like her?? I dont think i have the courage to do that and feel like i might scare her off. I think she mentioned something about how that kind of stuff scares girls off.
I was more thinking of asking her to come to the movies or dinner with me next time we meet, but i will avoid saying the word "date"......

Also i know this may sound sad but i have already created the txt that i will send to her in a few days, but basically in the txt i call her a hot (her nationality) babe, do you think thats too much or trying to hard?

Btw here we call college University

 

Thanks for the other responses as well guys, it means a lot

 

i should mention that i am FAR from an expert in this area.

i would think that saying those things about her would be a sign of your interest, but sometimes girls can be pretty dense about this.

there's several ways to make your intentions clear. telling her outright is one, or kissing her, or touching her a lot during conversation. just complimenting her without doing at least one of these still tends to lead to friend zoning in my experience.

i would have to see the whole text to tell you how she will take it, and then it would still be pretty much a guess. i don't know her or what you guys have said to each other, plus there are probably cultural differences to take into account.

 

um...it's called friends w/benefits......clearly she is not looking to be his gf...but sex is always an option. lol Anyways.... to OP ...good things do come to those who wait...but there's such a thing as waiting too long.

 

lots of fictional things still have names. a horse with a horn is called a unicorn, but in reality you're not going to find one.

 

Friends with benefits have become far more common than relationships in college-aged people.
There was an article all about in USAToday based on a nationwide study about it.

 

Peter Pan is fictional....friends w/benefits are very REAL....sometimes i wonder if some of you don't get out much.

Look...any guy/girl has a shot for friends w/benefits...that's just how things are these days. That friend zone shit has changed....friends get laid now...not just shoved in the zone. Either way...that's not the issue here..i don't think. It's lack of confidence.

 

be carefull with this friends with benefits, sometimes leads to more than anticipated; the chic im currently and been seeing for the last year and a half was a friend w/benefits originally. now we spend everynight together.

 

yes obviously FWB are real. i assumed that fact was obvious enough that i could get away with the "fictional" joke without having to explain that it was hyperbole.

my point was just that it still isn't that common, and that in my personal experience, the friend zone has been infinitely more likely to happen than FWB.

and i think the issue here is lack of confidence which may have put him into the friend zone.

 

Speaking from my own life, there's no such thing as the friend zone. Either she's interested in you or she's not.
If I'm going to be interested in a guy, I know pretty much immediately.
The hard part is just finding out if she is or not.

My advice to you:
Right now it seems like it's the deciding time because she's getting to know you. so, DON'T call her excessively. Let her figure it out. You'll know if she's interested.

 

I agree...most women know right away if they are interested. She did show some interest...which for his sake i hope is genuine. I still say he's got a good shot as long as he quits thinking about her ex..and gets his confidence up. And...bunnie's advice too...don't come on too strong and look desperate.

And i don't believe in the whole friends w/benefits thing...i just see a lot of friends living that kind of life style.

And....to tell a joke is to say something funny...i don't read in between the lines very well. And...i take everything for what it is.

 

to the OP...you remind me of every guy I never wanna date. You read too much into this. Stop over-analyzing. Stop getting offended over the ex-boyfriend thing-you guys aren't together so who are you to get upset over her past?

Keep it cool and stop telling her she's beautiful every 5 minutes...it gets annoying. Be yourself and don't hound her