Im starting to realize that when I was younger I trusted some people a number of times and a number of times its come back to bite me in the ass. I think this has cause me to be more shy and not open up to any people. Certain people I tell some kinds of stuff other people other stuff but nobody I feel really knows me that well and some stuff I dont talk to anybody about. Basically if I dont open up to people I cant be hurt if/when they betray me. I think Im getting to the point of really hating these shallow relationships. These arnt bad relationships I would do anything for any of my friends and they know that but I feel off on my own. I really want to open up to atleast one person but I'm terrified of being hurt again. If that would happen Id be afraid Id become a hermit and never leave my house. (I dont know about that but Im afraid how it would affect me knowing what its done in the past.) Anyone got advice on maybe opening up to someone. Should I tell them why I feel this way? Or just get back on the horse and try again? Thanks
Luke...from someone that's a decade older and still wrestling with the issues I didnt' take care of when I was your age...nip this in the bud now. seriously. It will cost you hardcore when you get to where you trust no one...eventually, it'll get to not even trusting yourself. come clean with one person about your trust issues, one person that you're sure you can trust, and I mean one of the drunk campfire shit talks. Trust me, you'll need the support, because that's a hell of a demon to wrestle with. That being said, there's nothing wrong with being a private person, and it doesn't' mean that people shouldn't have to earn your trust. I've found (in my own experience) that a lot of people have trust issues, oddly enough, because they have trust issues...confusing? here's what I mean... we trust easily...almost too easily, because we want to be understood. we often trust the wrong people, but just as often we trust the right ones...it tends to be a numbers game. if you constantly trust in people that screw you, then you might want to look at what your criteria is for establishing trust to start with...you might be, like I still am, surprised by just how easily you were willing to trust someone, especially someone you have an emotional investment in. Sad as it is, not everyone's worth trusting, and there's nothing wrong with being guarded, but just make sure that there's a way for your friends to get clearance, and make sure they know what the requirements are. dunno if that helps. It might not be wisdom, but it's experience. good luck.
yea luke i can definitely identify with you and your issues its hard to let people in and entrust them with valuable information but its so much easier once you do i know the exact feeling of knowing you have several friends but no one person that really gets you entirely i would try to establish trust with one person but make sure its the right person and yea its scary and if they were to hurt you hopefully you wouldnt be a hermit but since this is the case you have to find someone that is serious about being there for you i would say try to find deeper relationships but dont give everything away too quickly because that could scare them or something good luck and keep us posted please
