Trip Report: New Years Eve (long, but interesting)

I have nothing better to do, so i am going to attempt at explaining what the hell has gone on the past couple of days. sorry, it might be a bit long and extensive in detail

New Years Eve of this year:

We're getting ready to go a party at my friend R's farm. He's got a little shed that we generally chill at when we go over there.

I am sitting in the driveway of my friend G's house, waiting for him and some other friends to get ready to head over to R's. I get a text from one of my friends, A, who's inside of G's house, asking, "oy, are you still planning on tripping?" i answer yes. his response: "be warned, people are saying R doesn't want you to come over if you're going to dose". (i have been to the hospital twice off of mushrooms).

So me and my friend go to the store, he's 21, i'm only 20, so i give him 10 dollars and tell him to buy me two 40 oz. and that should set me straight for the night. But as he is in the store buying the beer, i have my tin-foil wrapped up in my middle compartment of 4 hits of some lucy that i have not touched yet and have been looking forward to gobbling up for a few days in preperation of entering the new decade.

I can't help myself, "i've been WAITING for this shit, it's now or never, either i'm tripping and expanding my consciousness going into the new decade or i'm not, what's it gonna be?", i ask myself. Before you know it i take one hit, put it in my mouth, and start sucking on it. "i just won't tell anyone that i'm tripping", i tell myself. i wrap the other three hits back up in the tin foil for another day.

A2 gets back in the car, with a bag full of 2 40 oz. i say thank you, and we head over to G's dad's house, B, before we head out to the farm. a bunch of friends are chilling there, waiting for R to get out of work so that we can head out to his farm to party for the night.

I start tripping over at B's house pretty quickly. i feel completely One with my surroundings. i'm looking around the room, with such clarity, wondering how i can't see this Oneness in my everyday life when i'm not tripping. i feel an intense euphoria, but i am at ease about it. i am relaxed, calm, cool, collected. No one knows i am tripping, and i am handling myself quite well, making pleasant conversation and feeling so open and light towards everything.

Someone gets a call from R, he just got out of work. so now we can head out to the farm. As i get up from the couch, i feel a dense weight on my sense of self, and i have to re-establish my balance of everything around me. my theory is that my sense of self began expanding to an extent where my "body" transcended my physical human and extended to every body and every thing in the room. This is confirmed for me as everyone is trying to figure out who's gonna give who a ride out there to the farm, and i could sense the Silence all around me. I come to experience directly that I am the only One that's actually here, and i make up my own plans all the time. It's only "me", or rather it's only the One, and i am completely all alone, yet i am not lonely at all, since all of my friends are here. But i am beginning to expand into infinite aloneness.

All of these realizations i am beginning to sponge in as i am tying my shoes, and since i realize this, i figure it would be easiest for me, Chris Smith, to give Rob a ride from work to the farm, since i am all alone anyway, and perhaps it is up to me to initiate any plans for the night.

So i head out to his work just down the road, starting to trip quite decently, yet i am completely fluent and totally fine driving my car. I pull in to the Relli's parking lot (a restaurant), and Rob is standing outside with another guy, C. I can tell C is drunk, and he's rambling on about something. R and C are shivering cold, and i come to a realization that i have come to and thought about many times while not tripping at all, and that is that temperature is somehow an illusion. It is real, but for me personally, it's not so real when i am completely One with my surroundings. The cold just sets the stage and establishes a vibe for the atmosphere around me, and as they are shivering cold, i am completely comfortable, not dressed any warmer than they are, and i even come to say out loud, "guys, temperature is an illusion." I've said this many times to them. The cold just doesn't bother me if my inner body is completely one with the flow of the outer environment; temperature doesn't even become an issue for me.

Anyway, i realize that we could stand here forever outside of Relli's if i don't initiate something, so i tell R we should head out to the farm, so we do. This is when things get real interesting.

We arrive at the farm, and on the way there i feel like the traffic lights and cars purposely made it very easy for me to comfortably arrive at my destination.

We walk into the shed, everyone is just chilling, as usual. I tend to get pretty bored hanging out with my friends, so i was happy to be sitting in silence coming up on LSD without anybody knowing.

I begin to really sense the undonditioned consciousness that i truley am; the ultimate observer that observes all things. I realize that i AM the party itself, there is no one actually there. With this knowledge in mind, the party begins to elevate naturally, as if the whole thing is actually a play, a silent dance, and i am the only one participating. Things begin to get really interesting for me watching all of this, like i am some sort of silent conductor of my own fantasy. The radio is on, and the music stretches out of its normalcy and echoes out into infinity. As i hear this, the room gets silent, and i look up to the ceiling of the shed, and i get the most eerie of vibes. Like i am in some sort of Playhouse or Dollhouse or something. It's very very hard for me to convey this vibe into words. I wonder if anybody notices what i notice about the ceiling and the music. Nobody seems to, or atleast they pretend not to. The party continues on as if nothing strange is going on.

my friend MR shows up along with his girlfriend, M. I've had my eye on M for a long time, and MR has beaten me up for it in the past. These days we're on good terms, along with M. She walks in, and the code of conversations that i begin picking up all around me lead me to some sort of realization that M would actually sleep with me if given the chance. It's like i am participating in some sort weird dance of silent masks, with the one Awareness behind them all. All of the conversations are interlinked, and i'm trying to guide my way through the dance to find out where to go next in order to initiate something with Mary. I'm just following my intuition.

I end up walking outside. The Blue Moon looks absolutely beautiful up in the sky. MR and M are ahead of me and we walk out to another part of the farm. I feel more and more that i'm in my own Alone adventure. I feel like i'm in some sort of real-life movie or fantasy or something. I begin to get this real sense of freedom that i have never felt before in my entire life, and the way i am talking sounds different than usual; i feel like an innocent Avatar Being waiting to clench his teeth into what Real Freedom is, and i feel as if some sort of higher intelligence from the Cosmos is guiding me, communicating with me, telling me where to go next. I am like getting all sorts of information downloaded into my psyche.

I come to some sort of realization that my friends don't know any better. They don't know about the shit that i think about all the time; that most people in the world don't know about what i know about. They're like stupid cattle that just simply don't know any better. They're not as smart as i am. They don't delve where i like to delve to. But i also realize that i am also just as dumb, i am also just some sort of pure Lifeness, and that this moment is the only moment there ever actually is. I feel less and less like Chris Smith and more and more like some tiny stupid cattle in the middle of a vast jungle of freedom in the open Cosmos. But the difference is that i realize this and most people don't, or something like that.

Coming to this realization, i go off on my own, i begin walking down the road, i say out loud to myself "where am i going?", but i just keep going anyway. I forget about the New Years party, i feel such a sense of freedom that i begin skipping down the road. It's majestic outside, the moonlit sky is blaring magic and wondrousness all around me. "how do i not see this all of the time??".

I begin getting visions of Jokers, cosmic serpents, witches, and carnivals, and Satan whipping his whip and the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse; they're all beckoning me to join them in their demented fantasy-land. And i begin to merge with this world within my own imagination. I feel completely part of it now, and i begin spewing this language out of my mouth out loud that i have never spewed out before in my entire life. I became a completely different being, my own Joker, my own fantasy character, laughing into the night sky, howling at the moon, and my laugh merges with the Witches' laugh, up in the sky and all around me. I can sense this Another-Land presence all around me. And i begin kicking my feet with my hands in my pockets and laughing like a Joker would laugh, loud and free. I felt like i was in the Nightmare Before Christmas.

I feel like i've opened up some hidden door to some secret paradise. I feel more and more like i am entering the same exact world that you see on the cover of Strange Days by the Doors. I feel more and more like Jim Morrison, and i sense that he's around the corner somewhere, beckoning me. It smells different outside, like a carnival; it all seems so fantasy but it's all so so real.

I begin walking down the road more, feeling more and more like the Avatar does when he first gets the hang of his new body and escapes the hospital, runs out past the basketball court, and really recognizes his own freedom.

I don't care about anything anymore, i'm free now, and to confirm this freedom even more, i stumble across some bar that i have never seen before in my entire life, a place called The Colonial. I have been down this road hundreds of times. i've lived in this town for 6 years, and NEVER, have i ever seen this place called The Colonial. a few days later, i get confirmation from my friend, A, that it has always been there, that his dad's band has played there many times and he has even helped him unload equipment into the bar. Of course, it's always been there, what else can i say to A? I feel as if i have entered my own episode of the Twilight Zone.

Back to the trip, i don't enter The Colonial. A car whizzes by me. I feel completely merged with my own freedom. I consider hitch-hiking, to see where else my adventure takes me. I end up walking up to a random house. This is all my own fantasy, what's the difference, right? I walk down the driveway, and into the opened garage. When i get in there, i scope things out; i get a broken home type of vibe. I hear a cat meowing in the distance. I feel so much like i'm in some kind of movie or something.

There's a door in front of me. I don't remember if i knocked first or not. It must have been unlocked, either that, or somebody let me in. But in one way or another, i end up walking through the door and into this random house. I walk into the kitchen. There's a black guy with glasses staring at me, wondering what the fuck i am doing in his house. There's a really short conversation between us two, basically coming down to the fact that i should probably leave, since he does not know who the hell i am and why i am here. I end up leaving. I never wanted to cause any harm.

I remember, saying, with my new-found confidence and sense of freedom, that "I'll probably see you later man", and i get ready to head on my way down the road. But for some reason, i ended up not leaving. I remember hanging around his garage even more, and i can hear him inside, calling the police. I light up a cigarette, still feeling completely One with everything. He's gonna call the cops? no problem for me. I'm free now. It doesn't matter. Might as well see where this situation takes me. Might as well scope this shit out.

Before i know it, i feel like i'm down the road just a little, but before i know it, i'm talking to a cop, he's handcuffing me, looking at my license, asking me questions. I still feel completely free. He asks me if i'm on anything. Do i have any drugs on me? I tell him i'm on one hit of LSD. he asks me where he can get some of that shit. He even asks me, "are you on acid or lsd?" i tell him i'm on both. I remember him saying he's never heard of this lsd nonsense, asking me where he can get some. I still feel completely Alone, participating in my own fantasy, my own made up Play. I tell him i'll get him some if he wants some. But i never ended up telling him what my source was. I realize now he was probably messing with me trying to figure out where i get my drugs so that he can bust them.

Suddenly, i realize that i am in the back seat of a cop car, handcuffed. But i still feel like i am totally free, and involved in my own fantasy. I start trying to think of ways to escape. i ask him why i am handcuffed. i don't remember what his response was. We're sitting there in the car for a long time it seems. I get a real sense of the Now, and of my unconditioned consciousness, and i try thinking of what way i can alter this aspect of the Now, since this moment is all there ever is. But before i know it, he drives off, driving me down the Old Highway a few miles up to St. Johns to the Clinton County Jail. On the way there, i'm hallucinating rather intensely, i feel as if the car is going to lift off of the road or something. I remain quite calm through all of this. On the way there, i notice it's 12:05, and i say out loud "Damnit!, i missed the ball drop!".

Eventually we get to the jail. The cops try getting me to undress myself. There's some confusion between me and the two cops, for a second i start wondering if they're going to try and rape me or something. They're laughing at me. But through all of this, i still feel completely One with everything. I still feel a higher intelligence conducting the events around me, guiding me through it. There's lots of confusion with what i am doing and what they are telling me to do. And then something happened, some kind of connection or synchronization, i don't remember what it was, but it lead me to saying to the cops, "do you guys fucking GET that??!". They nod very slowly with their eyes just as wide open in amazement as mine is. It's like the one Self is trying to help itself out or something. Our gazing eyes were a direct reflection of each other. It wasn't me, the criminal, and the cops, the good guys, seperate from each other. It was just the Vibe of Jail itself, yet the criminal and the cop is part of that Play.

Eventually things get sorted out and they put me in my own private "cellar". It wasn't really your typical jail cellar with the cliche bars and shit. It was just a white room, with a locked door, and a toilet and a sink. They give me a mat and a blanket to use to sleep on.

I never sleep throughout the entire night. I'm still getting so much information downloaded into me. Something is telling me that i'm some sort of proto-type of intelligence or something. Something brand new. Like an Avatar. I begin singing very loudly, and beautifully, with all of my soul, some dark and haunting tune, i can feel it vibrating the entire room and the windows around me. The cops are staring at me through the window, their eyes wide open, bewildered and amazed. I begin jumping up and down; I start talking to them with such enthusiasm that it's the new decade! it's time to get really pumped up! A lot of shit's gonna go down! 2012 is gonna change everything. Novelty! The end of time itself! I can see it in their eyes they know what i'm talking about. Something deep within them was responding to me. I still feel completely and 100 percent connected with them. We converse throughout the whole night.

When i'm not talking to them, i feel very sharp, very brand new, my awareness very subtle. I'm pacing back and forth in my cellar, excited. There's some kind of code going on, something higher is communicating with me. i can feel it. everything is a code of higher communication. I can see it out of the corner of their eyes that they're on the exact same page as i am. I start thinking about how it might be possible to bend walls, or create new rooms, that the Fantasy still exists, and i could perhaps escape the jail in that way. I feel so authentic, and so unprecedented. My singing harmonizes with the telephone calls in the distance and the small talk between the cops. It's all only the One. I'm thinking about how epic this decade is going to be, about how much opportunity is going to arise for me and the whole Universe.

in the morning, they put me into a new cellar with one other human being. His name is CE. we begin talking for a really long time, all day in fact. i'm explaining to him all of my thoughts, talking about Jesus Christ, and loads of other shit. he finishes lots of my thoughts for me. something is going on here! There's no more seperation between me and everyone around me. There's a secret communication taking place between us all, it's very intimate. Yet, the Play goes on between cop and criminal, as if it couldn't be any other way or something.

Eventually, they take me out to get my mug shot and fingerprint. it made me very happy that i was getting a mug shot for one reason or another.

Eventually, CE gets bailed out, and i fall asleep. i wake up, still feeling renewed and refreshed, yet wanting to get out of jail. Finally, they tell me my mom is here, along with my sister. i gather my things and leave. It's January 1st, 2010

This is all off of one hit of acid.

i will give my trip report of two days later in a little bit.

This isn't a complete description, but if anyone has any questions, or wants me to go further into detail about something, please ask, because i'm trying to figure all of this shit out myself, and i could use your guys' help.

 

kind of surprised there hasn't been any responses. too long of a read perhaps? lol i understand. if you do take the time to read it, though, i'd greatly appreciate any feedback anyone might have

 

bump

 

hahaha why'd you bump it?

 

So your experience with psychedellics is 2 trips to hospitals and atleast 1 trip to jail???

You want to steal your friends' girfriend Mary.

You lie to your friends about tripping and use Rob's farm for it when he doesn't want you to?

You get arrested semi-on-purpose?

I'd say your in need of some serious re-evaluation... seriously.

 

You should stay away from psychedelics man.
Mushrooms sent you to the hospital twice, you go to jail off one hit of acid, and then two days later you trip again? Don't you see what's wrong with that?
I have to admit, reading your report was kind of disturbing. You say so many things with such conviction but without any real substance, it's almost as if you've been brainwashed by new age philosophy.
I don't intend to insult or disrespect you, but I sincerely hope you collect yourself, stay away from the drugs, and question your beliefs while sober, because apparently, those beliefs are driving you to do some not cool things while under the influence, such as desiring another man's woman, breaking into houses, and demeaning your host by bringing drugs onto his property and showing up under the influence of those drugs when he has asked you not to.

 

i end up walking through the door and into this random house. I walk into the kitchen. There's a black guy with glasses staring at me, wondering what the fuck i am doing in his house. There's a really short conversation between us two, basically coming down to the fact that i should probably leave, since he does not know who the hell i am and why i am here. I end up leaving. I never wanted to cause any harm.

I remember, saying, with my new-found confidence and sense of freedom, that "I'll probably see you later man"




such acid stuff my gosh. what a great read though. seriously.

sucks a lot you are going to deal with a lot of shit regarding breaking and entering. and your family thinking you are crazy. i have a lot of empathy towards you right now thinking about that. well good luck with everything.

i'd suggest using new pathways to reach the cosmic consciousness that don't compromise your sanity and get you put in jail, personally.

-peace- and happy new year

 

wow, despite what everyone else said this sounds like a great night and a great story to tell.

 

yea, i don't know. it doesn't surprise me that people are disturbed by it. oh well man Jim Morrison disturbed people too. i have the best intentions and i just like to be honest. that's all. my girlfriend fucked four guys and one of them was a threesome. you don't see me crying about it.

as far as entering the house goes, i've done that before while not tripping. and i ended up getting in a three hour conversation about electronic music with a bunch of college kids. so, i mean, sorry if i offended anyone.

 

also, i've tripped many times. 2 of them happened to be me going to the hospital, and 1 to jail. but between shrooms and acid combined i've probably tripped, i dono, 25 times or something like that. just thought i'd clarify.

 

plus, i've "desired" this girl for a long time. it's not my fault, really. is it my fault that strawberry's taste good? no it isn't. i've stayed away from her. i already feel as if she has come on to me before, while not tripping, and i didn't act on it. Matt is a great friend of mine and i don't want to disrespect him. i'll probably never end up doing anything with her anyway. but i'm not really big on the concept of "relationships" in the first place.

and also, neodude, i don't have any beliefs about anything. i'm all about obliterating and eliminating my beliefs about the world.

i'm all about experience. And when you whipe out your beliefs about the world, and with the aid of psychedelics, you can get some pretty strange experiences like the one i just described above. I mean you guys don't really know, it's just a description. you didn't experience it directly.

and also, i'm not trying to prove anything to anyone. i hope you don't get that vibe. i'm just explaining what happened. and i thought it was pretty interesting so i thought i'd share.

but honestly, i completely understand where people are coming from in their responses.

no dude, it's great, because out of direct EXPERIENCE, i'm coming to realize, minute by minute, day by day, right NOW, that i don't need the psychedelics anymore. they've served their purpose for me. but i can still experience what i do without them, which is great news.

 

"I feel like i'm in some sort of real-life movie or fantasy or something. I begin to get this real sense of freedom that i have never felt before in my entire life, and the way i am talking sounds different than usual; i feel like an innocent Avatar Being waiting to clench his teeth into what Real Freedom is, and i feel as if some sort of higher intelligence from the Cosmos is guiding me, communicating with me, telling me where to go next. I am like getting all sorts of information downloaded into my psyche."

OH yeah awesome thing about LSD. Had that experience and feeling also on a trip that we called the Nightmare before Christmas, and we watched it at the end of the trip. You're also not in need of re-evaluation, you just may need to factor in precautions and respects that are necessary and real human feelings. You went with a true self and were illuded against the reality of our out of sync ways but also many respects for property. The cosmos will guide you where you should be and what happened unfortunately/fortunately was part of the plan to bring you to some new perspective. IN the long run you shouldn't be in jail unless you never really learn the lesson.

Just my opinion : the lesson may be something about combining the two worlds we are to live in. Granted there are impurities on the human level that are meant to be deconstructed, but you must balance in order for the true way to flow through you peacefully. When you have chosen one of the sides only you have chosen either disenchantment or pure insanity. Both offer delusions of either negativity or delusions of positive fantasy. The truth is all unfolds according to almost unexplainable laws and algorithms that will lead all through areas of light and dark. We are not meant to indulge in one side, that is unnatural.

Neodude is full of cynicism, which is bullshit. There is a lot of substance to your feelings, he wasn't there and apparently doesn't believe what you wrote about your experience.

Granted, you probably shouldn't be entering random houses. Lying about being on acid, who gives a fuck. Except I would understand if there is a risk of an issue arising that would put everyone else in a precarious situation, as it has happened with one of our good friends. Except with five hits....

My thoughts,
Brendon

 

i totally fucking agree with everything you just said Moksha. thank you.

 

If you can't recognize your own beliefs as beliefs, then you truly are insane.
Almost everything you alluded to in your OP was nothing but belief. Belief based on perceptions experienced during a drug-induced psychedelic trip.

 

So let me get this straight - because I realize that it isn't in the OP's best interest to break into people's houses uninvited, get the cops called on him, wander around town in a psychedelic daze, and then get arrested, I'm cynical?

 

what does OP mean?

 

sometimes you just need to break and enter

 

old pie

 

haha and what does "old pie" imply exactly?

 

OP stands for Original Post