Transgender - How old is too young ?

Has any of you watched the Oprah Show this week called "The 11-Year-Old Who Wants a Sex Change" ? I thought it was fascinating and controversial. There were some kids as young as 11, 8 and 5 who thought they were born in the wrong body and wanted to live as the opposite sex.

Two of the parent pairs who allowed their girls to live as boys, and they really acted as such and seemed so at ease, you'd never think they were ever girls. None were taking hormones or anything...But the father of the 5 year old boy was resisting the idea of letting him play with dolls...the experts said he should let his son be himself because the statistics show that 1/3 of children grow out of it; 1/3 turn out to be gay; and 1/3 are actual transgendered.

So my questions are
Would you let your kid play with toys or the opposite sex; or live as the opposite sex ?
At what age should one be allowed to take hormonal treatments or get a sex change ?

 

Just for hormonal and physical maturity reasons, it would have to be after puberty. Doctors probably wouldn't allow hormone treatment for kids who weren't physically mature already.

Mental maturity also really comes into it. If my kid really felt they were transgendered, I'd let them live as whatever sex they wanted to be. But hormonal treatment would have to wait until they were judged to mentally mature by their doctor. I have a feeling it would be around 18 years old. There's legal things there too... I might do some research on this as well.

hmm...yeah.

And when it comes to toys and shit... WHO CARES? I had one barbie as a child and I buried her in the garden. I preferred boys toys like cars and stuff. So much more interesting. When I have kids they're not going to be restricted to society's gender roles.

-Tamsyn

 

don't get me started all i wanted where dolls and dolls hoses and my mum was more worried about what the neighbours thought.
all toghether now BOO HOO
seriously on my 18'th birthday i said get me a model house or don't bother with presents i didn't want anything else
s

 

oh hang on i think most of those ages are too young a lot of people are still confused as young adults so my vote would probably be in the early twenties which isn't on your pole.
i'll have to ask my t.s friends see what they think.
i know after a certain age the body has developed so much into that sex its harder to reverse by hormonal treatments. but lets face it how many us wheren't confused about everything at the age of 18 i know i was
s

 

I'd say 11 yo is way too young to be bothered about sexuality at all. I've heard even mature transgender cases didn't reach the happiness they were searching after the operation was completed. So I'll have to go with 18 at least.

 

respectfully i think we need to think about the difference between sexuality and gender. for me sexuality is who and what one is attracted too and gender is the sex that one is.

so to play devils advocate and contridict my earlier message i would agree that 11 is young to be that bothered about sexuality but we tend to know what gender we are from an early age. at least most of us have a realisation about how society feels we should act if we're a boy or a girl whether that matches our inner feelings the way we see our selves is another matter.

s

 

wow what an awesome topic!! i definitely first of all am going to state that i can NOT stand when people don't let their kids play with whatever toys they want!! It makes me so sick! THEY ARE TOYS! Not only that, but especially parents that think Barbie is going to make their son GAY! News flash asshole, first and foremost Barbie is hot, and has boobs, ever think maybe your son is curious? lol not only that, but they get to act out real LIFE with dolls. UGHHH i so;dif[oiasdhkoashf that makes me soo frustrated!!!

ANyways, as for the whole age thing, i definitely think 18 should be an appropriate age where you can start taking the hormone stuff. Any time before that should be your time to explore yourself and decide if that's what you really want. and i also agree with the fact that even at 18 youre still trying to figure things out; i mean im almost 20 and i still know nothing about who i truely am. but at least by this age you have had the time to properly think about who you really are. i mean 18 years to get to know yourself, as oposed to only 5 or 11, is a great difference.

 

I feel as though it's very hard for me to say, as I'm not transgendered myself. It would be more accurate to ask a group of trans folks at which age they actually felt they were in the wrong body and absolutely needed hormones.

It seems a bit of a stretch to allow any sex changes at any age to anyone, but it also seems incredibly restrictive to have a "legal age" - 18 years is a long time to be completely confused, hurt, and struggling in the wrong physiology.

Seems more research and direct conversation "for trans, by trans" is in order to get to the root of the matter. Similar in that a straight man would not be the best resource on when one identifies with one's lesbianism, I am not the best resource on when a male identifies with her transgendered reality. The difference with the latter is that we're all queer, and in these progressive days, we can recognize the need to directly ask the people affected.

Excellent poll question, by the way.

 

LOL I wish I had told this to my parents when they would not buy me a barbie for Christmas.

Good point..maybe transgendered kids would not be thinking about hormones if they were allowed to dress however they wished and if their gender was respected and acknowleged by their community. Cause hormones seems like a drastic way to bring physical change when there is no exterior validation that what "has a penis" could still be a female, or vice versa.

 

I would say 21, but that isn't an option.

 

I have been remiss in my correspondence here so please forgive me if I'm bringing up an old topic.

My take on this is hormones are pretty heavy stuff. I am very hesitant to take them myself but then again I am OK with slow development in my breasts so herbal formulations are good enough for me. That aside. there is the questions of if the kid was absolutely sure that they weren't right for their born gender during puberty would seem like a good time to adjust their body to match their spirit. By not doing so causes the whole having a body that isn't you thing. FM bothered that they don't have bulkier muscles, have breasts, their hips to big for their persona & not enough body hair. MF having the hair, not being soft enough in general, not growing the breasts & hips. Then there is the voice thing. As teens grow older the effects of the born hormones just get more exaggerated. I know I'm stating the obvious but I'm just stream of consciousness writing here, like normal. To at least slow all of the process I think would help them feel better about themselves.

Clothing is another matter. I have been up in arms for a while now that people born male deserve the same fashion freedom that people born female enjoy. Sorry, ladies but when it comes down to it you can generally wake up & decide from a much more widely accepted group of clothing without anyone giving a second thought about it or questioning your sexuality or gender identity. If you are unlucky enough to have been born with male genitalia the mere thought of wearing so many things, even so many colors, & fabrics brings in such a pile of social baggage that you would think that the complete universe is going to cease to exist if your do it. IF you do you are subject to ridicule, violence from peers & often parents, often ending up being sent to a mental professional just because you want to wear a pretty skirt. I know many men who are in no way genderqueer but just want this freedom & have all their lives. The horror stories are voluminous. Sorry, I gotta get back to subject here... Regardless of born gender, regardless of sexual preference, regardless of gender identity if someone is happier wearing clothing that happens to be of the other gender they should. If you do happen to be genderqueer & wearing clothing to help your persona to reach your spirit it should just be a given that you should do so.

As for the toy thing; Gods, that pisses me off! I was lucky enough that when I asked for a toy ironing board & iron for my birthday Mom bought me one. There was a doll that Mom had around for us to play with. It was the one hand me down from my older brothers that was in nearly perfect condition even though my oldest brother is 11 years older than I am. When I hear some parent talk about not letting their kids play with toys that aren't their gender I just cringe. Sometimes I have to say something to them but if I don't know the person well I just let it go. The kid has to decide what they want to play with not some stupid social constrict. As for some toys, to use a term I have used since I read it here a while ago, giving the kid the queers. It's not the toy that gives the queers. The kid is or isn't queer long before they have even seen the doll or the truck or the rugby ball.

OK, now back to hormones. Even though the present hormonal therapies have potential risks. If a team of medical professionals are monitoring the patient generally there is a limited risk of the negative side effects. I can't speak for anyone but myself & what I have learned from other transgendered many did know by the time that they were teens that they just weren't in the body that their spirit needed. There are also quite a few that didn't figure it out at all until they were out of their teens. In my case it was because of the social stigma & all but that isn't always the case. Parents should support the feelings of their children in this. If a girl says that she would much rather wear a three piece suit than an Easter dress that is what they should go out & buy. Same goes for the boy who tells his Mom that he wants a pretty dress. Both should be able to tell their parents this freely without fear of rejection, repression, or reprimand. That would be a perfect world. We do have a ways to go before we reach that. I hear about it more often now than I used to so I guess like many other GLBT issues we are making progress. A heel click at a time.

I juat had this idea! For an adult to get SRS they have to live a year as the other gender. If a teen wants the same parents should be legaly held to allow their child to do the same.

 

A discussion on transgendered kids on OPRAH??? Wow. Oprah finally selects a topic that Jerry Springer and even Ricki Lake won't touch with a ten-foot pole.

-- Skeeter

 

Fortunately Oprah still tackles important topics when she's not busy kissing John Travolta or Julia Robert's ass.

 

Face it, no one is going to dare screw with the holy Opah. She says read & millions jump to find the book that she commands. She could even have you & me on there & people would end up crying or feeling warm & fuzzy because Her Holliness, the great Oprah tells them that they should honor diversity. If she would do that.

 

i say u can be seen and checked out by your doctor to see if u do have Transgender probalmes i say after they go throw puberty and then still determend on wanting to be a women then u do have Transgender problames and ure metal state is a women

 

What The Knive Butchers Is Not The Same Any More .circumcision Alone Can Have Significant Decrease In Sexual Pleasure A Total Sex Change Is Super Drastic And Well Never Function Like It Was Meant. If Your Dumb Enough Go For It.

 

It sounds as if you are saying that it is dumb to have SRS. I have through the years known, I'm guessing now, 10 people who have cahnged one way or the other. It certainly isn't anything to be undertaken without thought & in fact here in the USA & I suspect other countries it is darn near impossible to do without a lot of thinking.

They have a thing called the SOC which are are guidelines that require you to take certain steps before the medical profession will help you do certain things. You have to go to therapy for 3 months before the therapist will give you a referral to an endocrinologist to get hormones. You have to be living full time as the other gender and on hormones for a year before they will give you a referral letter for sexual reassignment surgery. This is called the ‘real life test.’ You also have to have 2 letters for SRS.
If you have enough $$ to go to Thailand, Thai doctors don’t adhere strictly to the standards. Most require either 3 or 6 months of living full time and on hormones. But if you’re sticking to U.S. surgeons, the SOC is something you’ll have to deal with.
There is one new loophole that allows a doctor to prescribe hormones if you are already taking them without a prescription. Maybe from an online pharmacy that doesn’t require prescriptions. This loophole is designed to get you to see a doctor so that they can monitor your health - which is a very good idea!

OK you can go through all of this & still manage to be uninformed but I'm quite sure that the medical/pshchological people involved would do their best to be sure that you aren't doing this for any wrong reasons.

On top osf all that. If you are living life in a body that doesn't match the real you it is something that drags upon your soul very much & you nearly have to do something to attempt to match your body with the person that you feel you really are. If you have the means & not to do so would be the dumb thing.

 

my first reaction would be to wait till at least 18, if not 21.

then i remembered something i read a while ago. apparently (and i dont know how acurate these statistics are, but i can imagine that they're about right) 30% of teenage suicides are committed by transgendered youngsters who feel they cant face living in the wrong body anymore.

if they've known from birth that they are in the wrong body, and it is likely to stop them from taking their own life, then wouldnt it be better to help them from a younger age?

peace and love
stardust
xxx

 

Transgendered people are dead sexy. They should stay just the way they are.

 

I played with action man and my bro played with my dolls and teddies - because we used them together to play some pretty manly games and look where I ended up. Turned out his actiona man toys were my aunt's from when she was a child, she lives with her long term girlfriend...