I haven't gotten a massage since transitioning. How does one go about finding trans-friendly spas for massages? Do we just ask a massage therapist if they're trans-friendly?
The best way is to get recommendation from friends. If someone you know has been there and was treated well, that is the most reliable recommendation. If you don't have anyone you can ask, then you can either disclose that you are trans on the telephone and ask if they have a problem with that, or you can just hope for the best and show up. Both approaches involve some risk. The telephone approach is the safer of the two, of course. But if you live in an area where people are generally tolerant or supporting of trans people, the hope-for-the-best approach will do the most for your self-confidence. Let common sense prevail. The well-publicized incident in Los Angeles a year or two ago is an example of what not to do. Whether that incident was staged for publicity purposes or involved a genuine trans person, it is an example of what not to do in shared spaces.
