Tons Of French Jokes!! Woo Hoo!!

Discussion in 'Pure Bull' started by USNavyDeadHead, Jan 10, 2005.

  1. Q: Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
    A: He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------How do you kill a Frenchman?
    A: Slam the toilet seat down when he's getting a drink.
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    The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemeies.
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    Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
    A: To see all their other ships.
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    Q: Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets?
    A: So you can see their white flags better.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
    A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers.
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    A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"
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    Q: Why is it good to be French?
    A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.
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    Q: How do you stop a French tank?
    A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it.
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    You really do have to hand it to the French...
    After all, they won't fight for it.
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    Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: One, Chirac. He stands still and Europe revolves around him.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Frenchman is there?
    A: He's the one with a duck.
    Q: How do you know if an Italian is there?
    A: He bet on the duck.
    Q: How do you know if the Mafia is there?
    A: The duck wins.
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    Q: What do you do if a Frenchman throws a hand-grenade at you?
    A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
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    Q: What do you do if a Frechman throws a pin at you?
    A: Run like hell. He's got a grenade betwen his teeth!
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    Q: What do you call a Frenchman with 1500 girl friends?
    A: A shepherd.
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    Q: Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
    A: Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris?
    A: Nobody knows, its never been tried.
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    Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
    A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
    A: So the Germans could march in the shade.
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    Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
    A: A bisexual.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: Why did the French agree to build the channel tunnel?
    A: To make it easier to escape to England when the Germans come again.
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    Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup championship so wildly?
    A: It was the first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.
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    Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
    A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
    A: You can make soldiers out of toast.
     
  2. bedlam

    bedlam Senior Member

    ha ha ha
     
  3. puddin

    puddin Banned

    Hehe, stupid french people.
     

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