Today I was woken up by the sun, shining in through my windows and over my 10 foot tall fig tree which sits by my bed. It felt so good to sleep in, usually I'm working at seven. I'm a cook, I guess you could say, at a place called the people's food co-op. It's just a little business, and I cooked mostly organic and vegetarian food from 7-3 most days. The work is nice, but it is tough. I have to run around the kitchen for hours sauteing multiple things at a time and making sauces, helping out customers, and I don't know, I always have ten cooking projects going at once, which the sounds of jefferson airplane blasting in the background. What's the point of this post? I'm just trying to explain how I feel. I got out of bed, and cooked myself breakfast at a slow pace.. salmon and aspargus omlette with slices of brie and apples on the side, with a big cup of green tea. My back hurt. I used to be completely vegetarian, and practice yoga every single day. Now I don't. The experience of the last 5 years have been a wild time. 5 years ago I was just entering highschool and I stopped cutting my hair and started listening to mind expanding music, and shortly after started taking mind expanding substances. I never really have gotten to anything past weed, but I smoke(d) a lot of it. Anyways, I surveyed my room. It's very tidy. I have art supplies and works in my closet. Oh yeah, I got accepted to art school in the fall after 2 years of community college, go me! I have artwork, and books by Tom robbins, hermann hesse, steiner, kurt vonnegut... alice in wonderland is there, howard zinn, bks iyengar, all books which have taken on different meanings in my life. My desk is wooden and neat, which pictures on it. A picture of me, my girlfriend, my grandparents and parents. Nothing psychedelic there, it just calms me to see the people who love me. A quilt made by my girlfriend hangs above my desk. We first came together over three years ago, then split up, and now we've been together for over a year. So much pain there, and so much joy. So much hope, so much jealousy and worry. She's in Europe right now, but will be back soon. The winter's here are harsh. I don't like them one bit. I have to bundle up and when I walk to work at 6am I curse the whole 2 miles. Now, spring has come. The trees are all green, and the weather is pleasant. I have a light feeling inside my chest, it's like the woods is calling to me. I couldn't possibly count the times that I've wandered around, alone, barefoot through the woods on days like this when I don't have to work. No body knows but me - It's like my own relationship with nature where everything is honest, or is it? Alright well I need to take a shower for real.
