To come out, or not to? (and what as)

Okay, so, here goes. I was a straight male, my whole life.

But, when experimenting with ass play in highschool, I did quite enjoy myself -- but straight guys can do that too.

Later, while high, I discovered the extreme sexuality of two men kissing.

This made me "confused" for a while, and slowly I started to develop a fetish for mmf bi porn (on top of my cum sharing fetish).

I can't decide if I would like being with a guy in real life -- I'm usually really good at guessing how I will react to things, but this one has me pretty stumped -- sometimes, I feel like I would, other times, I feel like no guy would "feel right".

I have a girlfriend, and though I'm a little poly-minded, she isn't (at least not yet *fingers crossed*), so it's not like I can go out and try it.


I'm very big for gay rights. I care more about gay rights than I do my rights as a recreational drug user -- and I mean, they aren't exactly getting jailed for it, so that's pretty significant.
Well, I was watching that documentary about closet gay politicians, and they ended it with Milk's famous statement about how if every gay person came out, to their neighbors, to their friends, to their families -- the fight would be over.

And I never saw that clip. And seeing that clip, completely brought those words, that idea, to life.

Now, I'm not even sure if I'm bi (or bi enough to call myself bi) but I want people to know. I think.

Here's where anything you guys (or gals) would have to say could be very helpful. Thank you in advance.

 

No advice. But I'm sympathetic.

 

I didn't know you had that emotion, so I am quite honored =D

 

Do what's going to make you happiest, and what you think is best for youself. It's okay.

 

Your'e Only 21, Please Don't Rush To Put A Label On Yourself..

Just Chill, And See Which Way Life Leads You...

In Your Post You Appear To Be Able To Think Things Over Quite Well, So

Keep Following That Line Of Thought And I'm Sure You Will Have A Long

And Happy Life.

And If Your'e Wondering What My Qualifications Are In Offering You

Advice, Well I Set Out Gay At The Ripe Old Age Of 10, Then As I

Went Through My Teens I Had Many Serious Girlfriends, And Boyfriends,

As I Emerged From My Teens, It Appeared The Boys Were Winning.

So Here I Am, Middle Aged, And Whilst I Do Not Have A Lover, I Am

Very Content In My Self, And Have Been For Many Years.

What I'm Trying To Say Here Is, A Lot Have Travelled This Path

Before You....

Take Care Mate...:grouphug:.



Cheers Glen.

 

What a co-incidence, I'm very gay for big rights

 

I don't believe in labels.


Just because I'm something one day, doesn't mean I can't be something else, another day.

I see sexuality as really being a spectrum, not a "this or that" thing.

Coming out as bisexual or bi-interested or whatnot, would be gratifying to me, in that I would no longer be thought of as "straight", which I feel does put inappropriate expectations on me (but maybe not), and that I would be standing up with my gay brothers and sisters on the social battle lines.

I am just not sure if it's inappropriate.

 

I'm not sure I see it as a label. I see it as a description.

What does it mean to you to be bisexual? You said that you aren't sure you're bi enough to call yourself bi.

My definition--and it's only mine, so you shouldn't feel obligated to apply it to yourself--is that a bisexual is someone who can be happy being with a man or being with a woman.

As I understand it, your girlfriend is the reason why you can't experiment with another guy. How would she feel if you described yourself as bisexual? That seems like something that would be very important to you. If I were in your position, I would want to sit down and have a really long and healthy chat with the girlfriend and at least another chat or two with some gay or bi men.

 

Just ask your girlfriend nicely to put things in your butt.

dilemma solved

I don't know if it would be worth breaking up a relationship
I don't really know though I don't really know anything about relationships

 

Thanks y'all.

All of your advice was helpful, and I have made resolution.

I'm not going to stress about what others think I am -- I'm not going to "name-tag" myself -- bi-curious would best fit, I suppose, but the way I see it, is that I can find the appeal in homo eroticism, and even enjoy it -- but it is not a part of my deeper nature -- and this is okay.

And I can identify as straight when convenient, and stand up for my gay brethren, and live with the fact that life is uncertain =P

 

My guess would be that if you get turned on by the idea of 2 men kissing, then you're probably bisexual. Most bisexual guys seem to be against the idea of being romantic/intimate with another guy, and that's something I really DON'T understand. I don't get how a guy can suck another guy's dick, or take another guy's dick in his ass, but be grossed out or suddenly think it makes him "more gay" if he was into kissing, making out or cuddling with another guy.
I agree with others here in saying there's no need to label yourself, unless you're comfortable in doing so.
If I had to put a label on myself, then I'm bisexual, but I just like to think of myself as an open-minded and SEXUAL person, as I'm attracted to women, men and transgender women.

 

I've considered myself bisexual for many years now. Currently single. I've always been in monogamous relationships. I find the female body very sexy. But I don't always feel I'm meant to be with women long term. I rarely masturbate to women anymore. Kind of afraid to have a bf, but think that might be best for me.

 

Are you "afraid" of having a bf because of other people's thoughts/opinions, or is it because it would be something new to you ?

 

It would be for both reasons and I'd say evenly split.

 

One of the best comments that I have read on HF.........You reflect my thoughts exactly. Everyone has a right to be happy without being judged..

 

I would suggest to anyone in a similar situation, to leave the doors ajar for t least a year until they are 100% certain.
Perhaps confide in a few close friends, but not someone who is going to shout it from the rooftops.

 

I am not new to being bisexual. I've just never dated a guy. Always just been sex.

 

A permanent relationship involves a lot more than just sexual preference, including inability to have your own children and everyday life together. So I would suggest not slamming the doors shut in too much of a hurry.
Over the years, I have seen things go both ways. Their is a lot more to life than just sexual attraction.

 

I already have kids, just was never married. I understand what you're saying though.

 

I hear that. Seems to be that a lot of us bi guys have experienced this. Only bit of advice that I could give/suggest is that other people's thoughts/opinions are never gonna make us as individuals truly happy. We have to do what's right for ourselves, regardless of other's opinions. In the end, we (as individuals) are the only ones who know what's going to truly make ourselves happy, satisfied and fulfilled. That's not a decision for anyone else to make.
As far as persuing your 1st boyfriend, it'll probably be a little awkward initially (like any other relationship really), but if you show a little patience, and your "not willing to settle"... You'll definitely know when the right guy for you comes along.
Good luck!!