time limits on getting back with an ex...

do you think there's a "time limit" on when you should try to get back with an ex? when do feelings usually die away for you? if the hurt and stuff is gone, and you're getting along just awesomely, how do you know if the other person wants to try to be more than friends? are there signals or anything?

weird question i know... just humor me please.

 

I've never successfully gotten back together with an ex, so I don't really know what I'm talking about. But my gut feeling is that there is no time limit. On the long side, the main thing you risk by letting time pass is that the two of you would continue to drift further apart, not seeing each other, dating others, etc. But if you're "getting along awesomely", then that's not the case. On the positive side of letting time pass while still getting along, is that the relationship might continue to grow as a friendship.

Now I do think there is a risk of getting back together too soon. Chances are the two people would not have resolved whatever problems caused the split, and the getting back together probably resulted from the fear and reaction to being "alone".

As for how would you know the other person wants more than friendship, I'd say just be open and talk about it.

 

I've heard of people getting back together after 20 years of being apart and then spending the rest of their lives together... it's just not something you can really set a time limit to or anything. It really depends on how long it takes both people to mature, or if they were ever even really that compatible in the first place. Time limits always fuck things up.... don't even worry about that stuff.

 

I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think there is a time limit... if you split up, that's the end of it. No point even trying to get back togther because it will never work... You'll end up just splitting up again, and causing yourself more pain.

(This is something I've seen that guys can never understand, if she's going to end it with you, that's it. no means no. no ammount of begging or pleeding will work.. you just end up making yourself look like an idiot, and pissing her off.)

 

I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with that last post. My parents had been seriously dating and they ended up breaking up. Then did get back together eventually and have been married for over 30 years now and still in love. Some people break up for whatever reasons and have grown from that loss. It's possible that one can learn from past experiences to become a better person, meaning that those relationships that didn't work out in the past might have a chance in the future. And I'm always a believer in second chances.

 

I don't think there's a time limit on getting back together with an ex. I've broken up and gotten back together so many times with the woman who is now my fiancee that it would make you dizzy. We're happy now and that's all that matters. You just need to know that if it's meant to be it will be. If not then don't pursue it.