I'm sorry, as I'm pretty sure this post isn't exactly suited here, but I need help. A good friend of mine, a 16 year old girl, has been taking emotional and physical abuse from her mom for 3 years. Today, when she requested her medical card to go to the doctor to take care of a kidney infection, her mom threw a fit. Her mom is a known drug addict. Her mother told her "Get your shit together and get out. I'm done supporting you, and caring for you. Get the fuck out of my house!". My friend, and 2 of her friends are on their way to the hospital to get checked out, but I was informed over the phone a minute ago that her Mother is tailing them the whole way. We're guessing to make a big scene and disuade my friend from saying anything to social services and/or the police. What can she do? If a mother refuses to take care of her daughter, and throws her out, what are my friends choices and options? This is in the state of Ohio by the way. Can she avoid foster care? Who should she contact. What should she say? We're all very afraid for her as her mom has threatened her life on more than one occasion saying "..I brought you into this world, and I can take your worthless ass out just as easily". Please, any and all advice is helpful. Blessed be. <3
Umm, wow. I am so sorry! Yes, there are a few other options. If she belongs to any church at all, I would check with them first. Most churches, regardless of religion or denomination will step in at times like this to foster a child within their own "family." Short of that if there is a close friend or other family member that would be willing to take her in, that would be another idea. Unfortunately, unless she goes to the police or child protective services with her story, there is nothing she can do that her mom cannot undo with one quick call to the police. I'm sorry, but it's kind of the way the system works. I would talk to someone while in the hospital. They're one of the best-equipped places out there to deal with this kind of crisis & could "get the ball rolling" for her faster than anyone else. All she has to say is "I feel threatened" and she won't have to go home with her mom tonight. I sure hope this helps. It's not a lot to go on, but there are other options. I'll be praying for you & your friend. ((((((hugs!!!)))))) love, mom
Drat! Lost my post!!! ARGH... Anyway, she needs to contact your local domestic violence helpline and shelter. DV is more than just women being beaten by their husbands, it also involves emotional and psychological abuse, and those people are trained to help people in your friend's situation. There is a book titled Toxic Parents, that might really help her heal, AFTER she gets out of that environment! Here are some phone numbers she might find helpful: Childhelp's National Child Abuse Hotline 1.800.4-A CHILD (1.800.422.4453) National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Ohio Crisis hotline 800-934-9840
in florida, a minor can be emancipated at 16 - meaning she'd have adult rights, able to sign contracts, rent an apartment, get a job, etc. and no longer be under her mom's sayso. contact legal aid in your area, it should be a pretty straight forward process.
I have had several friends kicked out of their homes at 16 or younger due to their sexual orientation, and many of them went to a social worker who then named a friend's parents as legal guardians. They are then required to care for the minor until he or she turns 18. I don't know how this works in other states or even if this is normal, but it has worked out well for all involved.
I used to work with child protective services in Ohio. they usually try to find what they call a "kinship" gaurdian if possible. They define kinship as anyone who has an ongoing relationship with the minor. Especially with older children they try to avoid foster care. Keep being a good friend and support your friend, but she needs to contact a social worker and report this abuse. Until then there is nothing anyone can do. I'll be sending good vibes your way. Feel free to use PM if you have any more specific questions or need to talk. What county are you in? Maybe I can refer you to someone who can help your case specifically.
In the state I live in, Emacipation is really difficult to do. The child has to prove that she can suppor herself totally (no public aid) have a job, and if under 18, still go to school. This is pretty well impossible. Also, you need a lawyer, and most 16 kids don't have that. It may be different on other states, but in mine, it is damn near impossible. I guess years ago, they had a lot of Emancipated kids ending up on the streets and Public Aid, so they made it difficult.
Anyway, my mother is going to speak to her mother later this evening. Her mom agreed to sign her over to someone. My mother happens to be that someone. The case worker we have said everything should go smoothly if the friends mom doesn't back out at the last minute. Hopefully the custody change/adoption will go over well. Any more advice is completely welcomed and appriciated. There are still plenty of bumps in the road here, and knowing her mom, some complication will come from this seemingly simple solution. I want to thank you all here at HipForums. You've helped me through a hell of a lot. Relationship problems, Picking baby names and helping me deal with the loss of that child and illness of my fiance, and helping me with my best friend. I can never thank you all enough. Hopefully I'll be able to post another pseudo-happy thread soon. Thanks so much.
