Why would any guy in a loving exclusive relationship want to have a threesome but want to stay with their girlfriend. To me, I feel my boyfriend may not be satisfied with who I am. I would like to give him this experience but just dont see why it is something he wants? I understand my thoughts on the subject are probably insecurity. But I love him a lot and would like to understand. So what I'm really after is this a common fantasy for men, where they really do feel love and commitment to their partner still?
It's very nice of you to try to understand, and even want to give him what he wants, but if you feel that way you shouldn't have to do it. If it feels like a sacrifice, or you're hurt by it, say no.
Hi Louise, Not only is it a common fantasy for men, but it's a common fantasy for alot of women too. You said in your post that you feel insecure about doing a threesome so definitely don't go through with it. If you think your insecure now, it will only multiply 1,000 times once it happens. I have even seen it backfire on the guy who wanted it in the first place. It all sounds good until your watching your significant having sex with someone else. Then the fantasy becomes a reality and some people just can't handle that. It can cause serious issues within your relationship. Threesomes are completely fine for people that are 100% comfortable in themselves and their relationship. Since your not, try and explain this to your b/f and ask him if you two can revisit the subject down the road. By then, you may be more open to the idea. But don't just go and do it to please him at this point. Best of luck.
If you aren't happy with it say no. I've found that men have a much easier time keeping sex and love seperate, so for them it is just physical. My beau wont bring it up with me, he's knows without asking that the answer is no.
I have to say from my perspective, that a guy could do a threesome and still be in love with his girlfriend. This is a common fantasy for men. Having another woman make love to you and your partner can be a huge turn-on. I would love to see another women give my partner an orgasim.
Thank you for all your help. We have decided on some rules (an experienced 3some woman from the net who wants no contact afterwards.) But it wont be happening anytime soon until I have more trust in him and confidence in myself. I feel a bit more calm now
My bf and I are experiencing the same dilemma. I feel the exact same way you do. We decided to start slow and see how things go from there. He wants to find someone online or hire an escort. I'm not too crazy bout the escort though. Good luck!
i have had threesomes with my bf and it doesn't mean that he wants to be with them but for one it spices up your own sex life and for another it brings you two closer together. its just a plus but def both parts of the relationship need to be comfortable with it for it to work out. i love them and i guess that's because i am a true bi but me and my bf have been together 3 years and things couldn't be better.
Hi There! Threesomes! well, I would have to say! Only if it is a mutual well thought out decision. Not one just to satisfy your partners wishes and fantasies! I had a relationship/ a threesome, when I was married I/E"WHEN I WAS MARRIED" It an amazing experience, sexually speaking! But with huge consequences! It cost me my marriage! for the same reasons, you were talking about! If I had it to do all over again, I would still have it as just a fantasy! Don't get me wrong! Sex and all the situations that can be thought up are beautiful! But only if the relationship is strong enough, or it is a purely sexual one(relationship) Peace, J
Men tend to have an easier time separating sex from emotion, women tend to have difficulty separating sex from emotion. When a man has had sex and later says "It didn't mean anything", he is probably telling the truth. Mind you, this is not an excuse for cheating, I am simply telling you men are more capable of having shallow meaningless sex than women are.
I've had 3 sums with women I loved (including a late wife.) It was all about sharing a sexual experience together. It was about being secure enough in our relationship to let each other know and live our deepest fantasy. It was very liberating to be with someone who I could really be myself and still be loved. The other person in the threesomes was essentially a sex toy from an emotional perspective.
My wife and I have had threesomes and we were nervous at first, but soon that passed. It bought us colser together. Why? No one can explain it to you. It just opens a door wider than it ever was before. But you must not be jealous. That is the killer. If your committed and secure, nothing better.
I would say go beyond rules and see what you might want to be brought to the table. Threesomes are always hard because there is an odd man/woman out and sometime if not careful, it can end up being one of the initial partners. Would you be interested in a threesome with another man involved? and that introduces the question... Would your boyfriend be comfortable with that. Maybe the answer for you two might be to meet a nice couple to share the experiance with. I understand his desire for this, I would love to try it sometime myself. I would love to swing, but my wife doesn't not have any interest in it. Therefore it is not going to happen, and I am okay with that. That is a big part of it too. He needs to be just as okay with the situation not happening. Good luck and I hope all goes well!
Let me begin with some background on our situation. Everyone has a different set of rules and it all lends to the final choice you make, so you have to factor that into the equation. My wife and I have been together for over eight years, married six. We have always had an open relationship. I wanted to enjoy the swinger lifestyle and she didn't, but allowed me to with other lovers. She would participate on a small level every once in a while but never really got in with both feet. Last year for her birthday, I arranged for a Tantra Massause to come and give her an erotic massage. He and I agreed to push it as far as she would allow, with the understanding that she might not go for more than a body rub. He was artfull in his approach, delivery and technique. It ended up as a full blown threesome with my wife doing us both right there on the massage table. Now she is ready to give me the same experience with another woman. And since her introduction to her first threesome, we have enjoyed a house party/orgy that included 3 other couples. She really did good after a slow start. We are now finally embracing the fun lifestyle that I had hoped for from the beginning. I use to tease her that she tricked me into asking her to marry me by taking me to HedoII for my birthday. I took that to mean that one day she would embrace the whole lifestyle adventure. Well six years later, she finally has, and it is GRRREAT. I should mention that there are many other factors that would take too long to explain, but my other postings might shed some light. One is a recent posting that includes my GF. All part of our open marriage agreement. As for whether a threesome is a good idea for you, it is hard to say. If he wants it, he is likely to find it at some point in his life. Ask yourself if you plan to be with him when that happens, and if it goes badly, is now a better time to realize that, or later. Also a huge factor is whether you have any bi curious tendencies. And would he return the favor with another guy in your bed? Communication is the key to making sure you both end up with something you can enjoy and live with. Good luck, and let us all know how it turns out. James
IMHO, all my readings and experience says that bringing another person (ie threesome) into a relationship is dooming it. Maybe not right away, but it will. I have been in threesome's with 2 other women and a couple. Great time, but I was not in a relationship with either pair. Personally, I could not share- at all. My wife is bi, but will not share me as well, so we are on the thoughts for that. If you have any reservations, do not do it. Live out his fantisy as a couple and be creative. It does work. Good luck either way
Guys do seem to love the idea of a three-way, for reasons that most of us will never understand. I have done it and it went okay for me, but you have to understand that the wife or girlfriend is always going to be the least important person in the bed. Don't take it personally. If you aren't sure you can deal with that, don't try it. Casual sex seems to come naturally to men. Most women have to make a real effort to adjust. Karen
I lost my virginity in a drunken 3some with two friends the night before my 18th birthday. I have wanted to do it again ever since, but never have My wife was one of the girls involved, but it happened several years before we got together. I still get in trouble for it these days when the wife is having an irrational anger day. "You fucked my best friend right in front of me!" Anyway, I still want to do it. Especially lately, where I've got this insane stamina and drive happening. I can fuck the wife into a sexual coma any night of the week, I did so last night and I'd do so tonight if I werent too damn sore. I'd LOVE to have two women to release this fury on. I feel dirty now.
