This...could very well be goodbye.

I really fucking hate to do this in here. I usually like to portray myself as someone very well put together who doesn't have any screws loose... But you guys, I don't know if I can take it anymore. I... am very, very seriously considering committing suicide right now. Like, tonight. I can't say that I definitely have the courage to do it, but God... I really feel like dying. I'm so sorry, I know this will change that way people look at me, and that bothers me but... I can't find a reason to live. It's the stupidest shit that sets me off, it really is. My boyfriend promised me before he left for maryland that he would call me every single day, and it's almost been three days since I talked to him. I emailed one of his friends and have gotten no reply so far. I feel like... I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. I know that's a fucking weird conclusion to come to, but that's what i feel like. It's not just that. I really feel so alone and isolated and unhappy. Like there's not a goddamn thing I have accomplished or even that I want to accomplish. I have a pen here, and I'm trying to write a letter... but I don't know... I can't bring myself to write it all down. I don't know why I'm posting this.... maybe just as an explanation... you'll know why I'm gone if I don't come back after tonight. Nothing feels like it would hurt right now. Like, I feel as if I could slit my wrists and I wouldn't feel pain, I would just finally not have to hurt anymore, and it would all be blackness and good. I feel blank.

Peace and Love,
Tara

 

Just knowing that suicide is an option helps me through the day. I know how you feel, this world is the worst place ever. What the fuck am I going to do with my life? Why do you have to "be" something, you can't just be yourself. Sometimes i feel that i'm not even a person.

 

Please dont killl youself. Talk to soemone, anyone who will lsiten to you. If no ones awake, grab your insurance acard, shoud be a mental health number on it to call where a counselor wiilil talk to you immediatealy.

Just relax, things will getbetter. PM me if your need to.

 

call somebody please.

don't kill yourself, the feeling will bass believe me i've been there done that

please hang on

 

or call that suicide hotline. or so what stella said.

don't hurt yourself

 

theres no need to kill yourself
things will get better
you have so many years ahead of you
and there are so many people who love you despite what you think
go talk to someone really close to you like your mom or dad and tell them what your feeling
everyone goes through tough times
you just have to remember that life is full of opportunities and sooner or later you will find what your looking for
you just may not know what that is right now

 

tara... i just imed you and you don't know who i am?

 

I hope you read my private message. I don't want to bring that onto the forums.

Don't think you are alone. Everyone on this forum loves you, and you have to have friends that can help you through this.

 

tara!!! please just come talk to me awhile ok? i'll talk to u all night if you want but at least lets talk before you make any permenant choivces, please.. get on aim, ok?

 

please dont leace placebo... i love coming on here everyday and reading your posts and seeing your smile...

 

^ i know i love hearing what she has to say. i

 

these are not things worth dieing for...its a phase nearly everyone goes through, especially teenagers. Just have to work through it.

 

if i would have killed myself before when me and my boyfriend, i would have never lived for us to get back together and me be 3829384232847238974239874x more happier than i ever was sad...


please don't do it tara

 

Dont kill yourself. I usedto feel just like you but take away the boyfriend part. Before i met my boyfriend i wanted to kill myslef. I put a gun to my head and was very close to pulling the trigger but something made me stop. I felt like everyone hated me and there was no point to living and that i will never find someone or something that will make me happy, but then i met jake, my boyfriend of 4 months and 5 days who i love very much, and ever since i met him ive been the happiest i will ever be. Dont do this. Just because your boyfriend moved and he hasnt called you in threedays doesnt mean he doesnt love you anymore. You dont even need him. Oneday you will find someone who loves you a lot and wantys to be with you forever. So please dont kill yourself its reallty not worth it. Just think of all the people your going to hurt and all the people that are going to miss you. Theres more people that care than you think there are. Things will get better for you i promise just please dont kill yourself.

 

please read your pm's.. talk to someone..im here..i gave u my number, please use it..or if not me then talk to someone, just please gather your strength, & just try, try to talk it through, try to find a way to wake up to a new day, a new day tbhat possibly could be radicaly different from today, filled with hope (i know you feel none tonight, but you never know what tomoro may bring, unless you take away tomorows cghances..happiness may be around the corner, but you'll never know unless you turn the corner will you

 

these folks all have very good advice, so I'm not going to echo it. Instead I will offer a quote from my favorite band. I was close once to taking my life, I stopped at the last moment and well there isn't a day that passes that I don't thank the world for me still being here. It was after that incident that music no longer was just an interest/hobby to me; music became my obsession.

"Gonna pick myself up off the ground
When that old feeling comes around again
I've had enough of feeling down
There's something I've lost that must be found again

Sometimes it seems like such a hard life
But there's good times around the bend
The rollercoaster's got to roll to the bottom
If you want to climb to the top again"
-String Cheese Incident

 

All I can say is that it's a good thing that you can't finish that letter. You can't bring yourself to do it because deep down inside you realize that the answer isn't suicide, it never is. I tried twice, both when I thought life couldn't get any worse. The first time I was thrown into a hospital, and I saw that there are some people who have it bad and others who have it worse.

Nobody's relationship is perfect. Ending your own life is no way to end a relationship. That seems to be a big part of your post, and I really hope you reconsider. In twenty minutes' time, ten people have shown you that they care. People out there don't want you to go, and we are all along them.

I really hope that we got to you in time. This is a big decision you're making. You can't make big decisions like this without sleeping on it or giving it a long thought. If you wake up tomorrow and you still feel the same, then please for everyone's sake talk to a friend about it, preferably in person. We all need support, the key is to ask for it.

I really hope you're still here and I hope that when you read this you feel better.

 

your right, there really isn't anything to live for...but i still feel like making the best of it until the day really happens...i'll be more than happy to get away from this planet. and kind of curious as to what death would be like.

 

where do you live in VA ? i'll pick you up

 

Don't do it!!!!

We would all miss you so dearly!
There are other things you can do, suicide is not the answer my friend.