things you dont want to hear before sex...

"oh, hahahaha, it seems we can tie this condom off and use it again, and again it seems"

"awwww, looks like the baby jesus...awww"

 

I never made sex out of conversation.

 

' you know - you almost made me come - but then I started thinking about ihmuriahs thread earlier on this morning that was pratically identical but first,and I kinda just flopped '

 

okokokokokok - i misread it - BEFORE SEX -

' - don't make any noise '

 

"i learned my ABC's from my hepatitis tests"

 

So you're so addicted to hip you discuss it before or think about it during sex?

 

"hope you like hermaphrodites"

 

"You don't have aids do you? cuz I'd hate to get that again."

 

"you don't mind if i let the dog in? he likes to watch"

 

come on now.. no one ever says this stuff BEFORE sex.... actually they do but you have to be stupid to follow through.. um wha

 

you're so sexy seth (or anything but my name)

 

"and then we can move into a big house and you can be my wife and cook and clean for me and wash the dishes and the laundry and I LOVE YOU! we should tell everyone we're in love! we should get a dog and name it spot and take a road trip this summer. my parents house or your parents house for the holidays? can i take your picture right now and then one after? ooh do you love me too? this is so perfect. so special just as i pictured losing my virginity! I LOVE YOU!"

 

"hope i dont ejaculate blood like last time"

 

*has a flashback and runs through the wall*

 

"what the hell is this scab on my pe .. hhmm.. oh well.. ready?"

 

it's on the dresser, count it but don't take it out of my sight until we're done

 

"oh god.. i hope my diareah is gone"

 

): ouchies...that's always been the greatest fear of mine. I have never thought of anyone else while making love with anyone but because of my ocd tendencies I constantly obsess over that in my mind and have a sickening fear that I am going to say somone elsses name, like not even an ex but a kid or a coworker argh

 

"are you into fettish's???"

 

Well now, he's a cute little guy ain't he???


LOL


Peace, Love, and Fruit Stripe Gum

-Lemm