Things people do to their kids?

When I have children I will do alot of things different to what other do?

For example while out shopping the other day I saw a woman hit her child for running off - she didnt have hold of the kid and was talking to her friend!!!!

I see people feed their kids all sorts of complete shite

People swear at their children

You get my drift - what have you or would you do different to people or what would you do different second time round?

 

*grrrr* I've taken notes....Of all the absolutely stupid crap I've seen people do to their children...Stuff I'm learning from and will never do...

Like...This girl I knew from highschool...Her mom complained because she didn't know why she was lying, stealing, out at all hours of the night.."Where did she learn that?" Well, let's see...You fill your personal vehicle on company credit cards (stealing), lie to your parents in front of your daughter, go out for hours at a time without letting her know what you're up to and not answerng your cell phone...I wonder where she learned it.

One I've recently become aware of: My child won't eat at meal times and won't eat proper food.

Well, if you'd not let him get candy every 2 hours during the day, limit his snacking, make him eat meals at the table WITHOUT the tv on, and not rely so much on McDonalds, he'd probably not have such a problem...

And wait until you are pregnant and talking about your plans for how you'll raise your children. "Your kids will be just like mine. Just wait and see. You'll be so tired of trying to be so involved that you'll just give up (and go the same route I did)." Peole literally giving up on you before you're out of the gate!

I swear if it weren't for the mommas on this site, I'd have already given up on having a child I can live with and discipline! Everyone just keeps telling me that I won't be able to do it. but the way I see it, I don't have a choice. I'm not doing this for the convenience factor. I want my child to grow into a well, functioning, and upstanding adult. And that takes work! and sacrifice! And way less mcDonalds than I see some kids eating nowdays!

 

I've learned never to say never. And to put myself in other's shoes before speaking because parenthood is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.

And BTW, I have one of those children that won't eat. I think we all do the best we can do sometimes, and it's not always the way we envisioned it before our children were born.

 

I know it's not black and white...and I know it's not easy...I see the crap my mom is going through with my youngest brother...I know it's a challenge.

The situation I'm referring to is one where it definitely could be corrected...In fact, that same little boy will eat just about anything when he's over here. *shrugs*

And I'm trying to never say never...but at the same time, it's wearing on me...all these people telling me I can't and won't be able to do what I think is best for my child even before I try. it's frustrating. I never thought I would have to defend myself so much.

 

oh loardy, do I know what you mean!
You've read the post I wrote about my sister......whenever the subject of leane comes up and the way that we're raising her, my mom says, "she'll probably end up the same way as your sister. You were a little shit, too. All kids will be."
Seriously!?
Man, I see all kindsa crap at work all the time.....I work at a grocery store, so it's inevetable (sp?)....some parents are kind with their kids.....others just freak on them over the smallest things.... i understand the whole, "i'm on my last nerve," but sometimes they can get really mean.

 

I understand. I'm pregnant with my second baby now, and the advice (especially from my mother) is driving me insane. You would think that they would get that I am going to do things my way, but I guess it makes her feel important.

And I've realized that my son just doesn't like food. His father was and is the same way, and he was raised in a different culture all together (Turkey). It is one of the most frustrating things I've had to deal with since being a mother, because as a mother you want to nourish them.

 

I have noticed in my neighbor hood parents just let their kids go outside with out even knowing where they are like this lady that lives down the street she has a 4 year old son and just sends him outside she actually made the comment the other day that she needed to look for him it had been a few hours since she had seen him... it amazes me that parent could careless... i mean i can understand sending a child out and have them check in and watching out the window giving them a since of freedom... it scares me i spend most of the day watching them out my window becasue i know their parents arent... it would be different if there were all kinds of kids different ages but there not the lil boy i am talking out goes out ALONE....

 

This drives me crazy!!! My neighbor constantly lets her 2yo ot to play, and then he comes over to my house, comes on in and I am stuck caring for him, grrr. Sometimes I don't even notice he is here until he gets into something. I still insist on knowing where my 12yo is, I could not imagine not knowing exactly where my 2yo was.

As to what I would do differently, I don't know. I sure made alot of mistakes with my kids. Considering I was barely 19 when my oldest was born, I think I did OK. I believe my biggest mistake was treating him too much like an adult, some days I think he is more responsible than I am,lol.

I hate to see people pick up their kids, smack them and then tell them "We don't hit" it's just idiotic to me.

OR, "well he/she won't drink water" you give your kids juice or worse kool-aid all day and wonder why they are so hyper? and then complain about the dentist's bill when they eat candy and drink sugary drinks all day long!

But what bothers me the most is how people can seem so surprised that i enjoy spending time with my kids. So many mom's are just looking for a chance to get away from thier kids, complain all the time about them. Maybe if you watched your child he/she wouldn't make a huge ass mess in your house!

 

When I'm out and I see parents being like that, hitting and swearing at their children, it just breaks my heart. Some people should have never become parents.

 

while I do agree with what you are saying, once you actually have kids, your ideas about things change in a BIG way! I thought my kids would never watch tv or eat any sugar... well, they no longer eat sugar, but they did until I realized it was leading to some major behavioral issues. They do watch way too much tv. And there's so much more. But I do always try real hard to be respectful of my children and treat them the way I want them to treat other people. And, you know, maybe that one time I cussed at my child in Kmart because I just snapped and couldn't take any more... well, maybe someone thought I was some sort of monster, too. We're all human, we all make mistakes sometimes. And the food thing, I have a child who has never been on the growth charts, even her doctor was telling me to feed her more fat and sugar, twinkies and hotdogs, to get her to gain weight (like, how is that supposed to make her healthier?). And when we flew to California, just me and her, I let her eat junk because I was so stressed out, and she wouldn't eat anything else, and I had nobody there to help me or give me a break from mommy duty. Maybe that mom was feeding the child crap because of pressure to put some weight on the kid, or she was at her wit's end because the child hadn't eaten in two days. It's so easy to have all the answers, when you don't even know the right questions yet. Try to stop judging parents, because the worst thing that happens when you become a parent, is everyone starts questioning your decisions and judging you about every little thing you do. Heaven forbid some mom make one mistake in front of the wrong person....

 

When I lived in Oregon, I just about had a heart attack one day when I'd let my dogs run around in our back yard (fenced) and turned my back to do somethig in the house for a minute. When I heard my 100 pound dog barking I ran outside to see what was going on. A neighbor (dude lives more than a block away) had let his 4 year-old daughter just wander off into the 'hood, and she actually OPENED MY GATE and WALKED INTO MY YARD to pet my dog. We had just moved there - I'd never even seen her before.

Luckily, my dogs are VERY good, and understand about children. That was the closest I've ever come to calling "authorities" for something along the lines of "neglect". Hell, if she'd even chosen our next-door neighbors yard, the dogs there would've eaten her alive and her dad probably wouldn't even have noticed till the next day!

 

I just came from the supermarket, and there was this women with three children that played around. suddenly, she slapped the older one of them, and then telling him to stop. Wow. What about telling BEFORE even considering to slap?

 

She might have already been telling them to stop, over and over and over again. Sometimes kids don't listen and it can be very fustrating and embarassing. When my kids act like that and I'm tired of yelling for them to chill out, I've had to grab my kids and make them stand near me and be quiet.

Usually, I hear approving comments or see nodding grunts from the elderly people around me. Ya know, the ones who would rip their belts off and publically flog their children. The only people who glare at me are the ones without kids or the ones who's very children are ransacking the store at the same moment.

While I can be an indulgent and laidback mom, I have little tolerance for acting like barbarians in stores or at someone else's home.

 

Very, very well said.

 

I totally get where you ladies are coming from! I don't like to criticise people I don't know personally. Those parents yelling at their kids in the store, I don't know if the kids have been moody and testing all day. I let those things be...

I'm talking about the people I DO know...People that I'm friends with, the ones that let me into their daily lives enough to know why their kids act like they do and why the parents react like they do...And even then, I give le-way...

I didn't want anyone to think I was criticising their parenting! I know the mommas on this site really do the best for their children at all times, even when they snap... Sorry if it seemed like unjust criticism...

 

My husband was at the store a week ago,, and this lSuv came flying through the parking lot,, a Litle girl around age 4 fell out of the suv and hit the pavement,,, so my husband runs over scoops her up and hes freakin out asking her if shes ok,, The girls parents were already out of the parking lot before they figured out that she fell out,, they came back to where my husband had the little girl, and grabbed her really hard away from him,,, Then the mother started screaming at the little girl saying you "" you stupid little n**ger What the hell is wrong with you you lil retard youre gonna get it when we get home, wait til your daddy gets a hold of you for being so stupid"" Well my husband almost came unglued,,, and the lady set the little girl in the suv didnt buckle her up and sped off before my husband could get the license plate number,,, Parents that do shit like should be sterilized

 

*picks jaw off of basement floor*

bwa huh??

I would go to the store security and ask if they have the tape. Most stores have cameras that show their parking lots.

Nail that bitch to wall.

 

GREAT F**king IDEA,,,OMG I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE TAPE

 

I really hope you can get that tape and get that woman in major shit!

 

Praying for that little girl. I hope she lived through it and doesn't get traumatized by that experience. You HAVE to keep us updated about it PLEASE!

MamaBoogie~ thank you so much for that input. I really got it. I felt that the BESTEST choices weren't there for me either and well sometimes we just have to make due.
You do really have beautiful girls tho!

My son is starting to get into *that stage* screaming at the top of his lungs at the drop of a hat. A very short fuse. I dread taking him to the store. Too much stimulation.

Before he was born I used to notice the kids having blow outs in the store. And I used to discuss it with my husband. And we came up with a plan. Not take Wilne into the store and take turns shopping. Avoid the whole situation. Well Nelly...

Like it ever works out that way. Sometimes we have to shop with him anyway! When that happens, we try to make it quick, cause he goes nuts when we takes too long. Sometimes I find a toy in the store and he plays with it while we are there (I don't buy though).

Well, he screams a lot. It's hard. I try to divert his attention, but sometimes we have to make a quick dash to to car! The other day we were at the GoodWill and at the check out counter and Wilne just screeeeeeeammmed. And everyone turned their heads and I said~ Well I should handed ya'll earplugs when you came in! Ha ha. Generally everybody is pretty tolerant.

My chiropractor is a Woman that has never had a child, and it drives her nutz when Wilne screams, generally my husband takes him for a walk, but occasionally I have to go w/o him. Oi!

I'm definitely looking forward to him outgrowing it. I've tried the sign language, but he never caught on.