Things I never dared to ask.

I am curious about so many things because people are expected to lie about many things. For most of my life people said that they belonged to a church because it was expected of them. In recent decades it has become acceptable to say that one has no religion. In the same way gentelemen (nice people) do not go and boast to their mates about having had sex with a girl - and that is what Bill Clinton should have said when they asked him about Monica. Lying about sex is still required in most places and times. Teenagers are still raised to deny masturbation and to feel that extra-marital sex is very wrong, and these lessons are carried forward for the rest of one's life, in many cases or ways.

The anonymity of this forum allows people to cast off the pretences and to speak frankly, and that is the main reason why I have joined. Until I read about spanking on this forum today I had always believed that women do not (or cannot) find spanking erotic. I thought that they did it for some ulterior reason, much in the way that before the 20th century marriage was often a trade of food and shelter for obedience, but the emancipation of women has changed that, along with education and the ability to earn their own money for food and shelter.

I spend my life predending to be nice, simple, plain vanilla, when I am very far from vanilla in almost every way.

 

Its a modern phenomenon.

 

Although having said that:

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,"

William Shakespeare

 

I have always been open about my likes and dislikes that you would assume that would make it difficult to find friends.
However, the reverse was mostly true and people found that being different makes me more interesting.

Perhaps the best example was that in my teenage years, I was completely open about my great love of opera. A few people found it strange, but many found it very interesting and ended up at the opera house with me.

After all..... When did you ever see moments like 3:35 on this video at a pop concert,

 

A woman's weight

 

equating nice with plain vanilla is close to the root of what makes the dominant culture so hypicritical.
i mean you're going to find this inside the box of any society to some degree.

(it is imagination, not society, that makes us sapient and real)

keep the consideration, 'throw away' the box (of familiar conditions and expectations), and return to imagination. not through ignorance or indifference.
there are things that are real. minerals and trees. the humility of the dust that tolerates our tread.

there are the shapes of things themselves, when not being hidden by people talking about them.
there is the landscape itself, and then there are all the things, both in nature, and the objects people make and discard, you can make things with and out of.

so much easier on the mind, then the tangled knot of self contradictory demands and expectations humans inflict on each other.
its easier, i find, to feel affection toward them from the distance, without mireing mind, in the thorn vine thicket of them.

i am the solitary pume, deep in the forest, remote from the tangles of more social creatures.
that is the zen garden grotto of my mind. where logic serves better what gender (masculinity/femininity) presumes and fails.

affection is good for a time. for many times. for gratification, that takes also our own creative expression, or at least uninfluenced exploration.

 

What about her age?

 

I'm a good guesser with age.
Rule of thumb, I always aim a little lower.
Age guessing ends up being good playful banter back n forth.

 

I dare to ask my wife if my best friend is a better fuck.