According to Christian Theology, things must get ugly before they can become truly beautiful. The cross is ugly. On a cross a person is naked or nearly naked and pissing and shitting themselves. It isn't pretty. But the cross became the most common worn and reproduced religious image in history. Something ugly became beautiful. Take away the cross and you take away the glorious and beautiful resurrection. It is only after disaster that we can be ressurrected. It is only after losing everything that we are free to do anything. Everything is over for the caterpillar when it hangs upside down in a cacoon. Everything gets uglier and ugliest in the caterpillar's final moments when it is reduced to icky goo, digested, melted, and remolded into a beautiful butterfly with wings full of special designs to scare predators away. Yesterday was national butterfly and national "save a spider day." I identified with the Spider and identified Mussolini as the "Butterfly Caesar", the transformed and reborn Caesar who hung upside down like Peter whom he so diligently served, to become ugly before becoming the glorious "Caesar Israel" (Mussolini means Israel, contender with God), the Emperor butterfly, the Marian "Dictator of Heaven", Dictator for all seasons, who marched on God's Capitol, (like he marched on Rome, taking over the government and the military of a modern first-world Democracy without firing a shot or shedding any blood.) Time shall tell if my visions are of any merit. But I identified the Spider and the butterfly as the two animal totems for the New Israel, the Holy Roman Empire that I pray to, before knowing that the butterfly and Spider share the same national holiday. They also both symbolize the same thing, "Divine femininity. Feminine energy and power". I primarily pray to the Virgin Mary and females who have gone to their eternal reward, because Christianity doesn't have enough devotion to females. Mary actually brings about the greatest miracles and conversions if you actually study her apparitions at Guadalupe, Fatima, Lourdes, Rue De Bac, and beyond. But back to the topic of the OP, things get ugly before they get beautiful. I have been using Meth regularly for two years. It was a Fascist drug that I named "Leah's crystals" and called "Fascist holy Communion" that I'd pray many blessings over for it to be transubstantiated. It was made in Japan, the land of the Kami, same year as the Fascist party was founded 1919. It was called " philipon" which means "love for work". On Meth, Japanese people were loving work and working all night. Unlike alcohol which makes it hard to operate machinery, people on meth could operate machinery better and focus better without falling asleep at the wheel. So, meth made me love work, making it that much more addictive because it gets me out of bed at 6 am thrilled to be awake and going to work. I quit cold turkey four days ago. It's ugly and miserable as hell. I slept for over 60 hours straight. It's just starting to improve enough that I can get out of bed, go shopping, walk half an hour to the Cathedral and Capitol building, but it's done a lot of damage to my mind and body. It's eaten away a lot of flesh and muscle, and weakened my bones and heart. I only lost one tooth, but I drank much milk and brushed regularly to prevent meth mouth. I've got bad tendonitis that I have suspicion was caused by Meth and makes me walk with a limp. It fucks up the whole body and can permanently cause Dopamine receptors to take a shit and cease to work so that feeling joy and pleasure becomes impossible permanently. Cocaine people think is better than meth because it is natural. Cocaine is more dangerous. You hear of celebrities dying of cocaine, barbiturates, and opiods all the time. I've never heard of one celebrity dying of a Meth overdose. Alcohol is legal and was worse for me than meth. I act normal on meth compared to how I act while drunk. It's all terrible! Stay away from it! I know of nothing that ruins more lives and robs more people of their dreams than drug-abuse and addiction. Stay sober. I'm going to feel worse for about the first six weeks sober than I did on the drug. It will take roughly six months of sobriety before my brain learns how to produce the dopamine it did prior to the meth addiction. It could take up to a year before the brain is fully healed. I may have permanent damage for I did about an 8-ball a week. Is that a lot? I reached a point where hitting the pipe over and over again for an hour didn't even get me high. Usually it takes more than two years of regular use to do permanent brain damage, and I'm still at an age where I heal quickly, but I warn you, it isn't fun and games. It is absolute hell! I stopped getting high on meth long ago and it took an hour of hitting the glass pipe each morning just to feel normal and able to focus and concentrate at work. Plus, I smoke the pure, tasteless , colorless crystals, so pure that the lungs don't feel a cloud of smoke enter. Some meth hasn't been filtered and you can taste nasty chemicals. That is far worse! Be wise! Stay clean! Don't go down this dead-end street! God bless! If you do smoke meth, don't smoke stuff that has a brown, yellow, or red tint. If you taste chemicals, it hasn't been properly filtered and is far worse for you. At least the stuff I smoke is pure and made in Mexico. It's FAR worse when made in some filthy local meth lab. Don't buy powder either. Buy solid clear crystals. Better to stay sober.