These Are My Symptoms Of My Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder.

Does anyone else have any of these?

Schizophrenia:

From an outside observer, it would appear that I talk to myself all day long, but I actually don't. I am actually talking to people that are not there. I know they are not there, but I am talking to them as if they were. There are a handful of people that I "talk" to on a regular basis, and they include my counselor, doctor, and some family members, and a few other people.

A suspicious thought process pervades me to the core and I try to stop it now that I've become aware of it.

I feel judged by a "presence." I think I may have heard a voice once or twice, but mostly it is just a presence.

I have the following types of delusions to varying degrees:

persecutory, grandiose, erotomanic, guilt

I feel like pictures of people are judging me. This would include billboards and even the profile pictures of the people on this site. I know that it is just a picture and it makes no sense that it is judging me, but I have to remind myself of this.

Bipolar:
I think we all know what that is, right?

What do you think?

 

Not very interesting.

 

kind throws a different light on your other thread attempting to debunk religion, now doesn't it.

maybe that presence you always feel is God.
LOL




but what do I think?

 

Yea except that my thread about religion is true.

Why don't you tell me what religion you believe in. or put it in the other thread.

 

Religion is for people who don't want to go to hell.
Spirituality is for people who have been there.
I believe in Spirituality.
Guilt is a totally worthless emotion. It's simple, don't hurt yourself, don't hurt anyone else.
Other than that, you're free to do whatever you please.
As for talking to other people, sounds like you're lonely. Maybe you need a Higher Power in your life,
what that may be. Hint: It's not that old man up in the clouds waiting to say, "Now you've done it, now you're going to hell."
I figure an All Loving deity can't know anything about hate. And, btw, the opposite of Love is not hate.
The opposite of Love is Fear. Think about it.

 

Yea but do you think the Unabomber should feel guilty, for example? It would be weird if he didn't.

Unfortunately, I don't believe in a deity or any sort of afterlife. I kind of wish I did. Maybe there is something outside of this, like some sort of "multiverse" or something, but that doesn't explain that we evolved from other primates and that using that logic, we are no more special than a bacteria.

do bacteria have souls?

I do talk to people, but when I do, I come across like an ass with a superiority complex, which was just brought to my attention once again in another thread. I really am working on it though.

Wait.... I'm cured...... how is everyone today? How's your folks? Your kids? (you probably don't want me talking about your kids, huh?)

 

It's fine to have issues, but coming back with the same issues and getting up to the exact same shit with a different username is aggravating - everybody knows who you are, you're not sparing yourself any negative judgment, just incurring more. One of the best ways to start tackling those issues might be not running from and trying to hide from who you are or the things you say or think - running is not a good strategy and won't help, get in practice and knock it off.

Also, it's frustrating when everything you say just seems like a slightly new twist on expressing the exact same obsessive (and wrong) thought patterns. How about some actual new thoughts?

 

And what did the primates evolve from? - A long string of rat / pig like creatures, and where did they all evolve from? trace it back far enough and all living things have a Last Universal common ancestor which for us is bacteria. Which may not even be considered to be alive, around 2 billion years passed on earth where single simple cells were the only "living" thing that existed, and it took them that long to evolve, via combinations of chemical reactions into cells more complex. So all living things really just come down to he carbon atom, how that reacts with oxygen, nitrogen and hydrogen in particular, the carbon atoms spin, size, weight. All life determined because carbon can make long chains with hydrogen. Whether we are 'alive' or not is just our opinion, regardless we are 'alive' as the result of a long long long string of consequences resulting from chemical reactions

All psychiatric disorders are diagnosed and measured relative to the norm, if everyone had Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder, that would be the norm and then it wouldnt exist. You come off sounding like a prat, because everyone elses experience of your Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder only happens when you are talking about it

A little thought experiment: If you went off to a counselling session where you were the only one with SZA/BD and there were also 6 kids there that had Cystic Fibrosis, sharing your thoughts on how difficult life is when those 6 kids will all be dead by 30 because of the CF....how differently would that session go if in one instance you were NOT told beforehand or by any of them that the rest had CF compared to a second instance where you did know before hand they all had CF. It would alter that actually therapy itself....for as in that first instance you would likely rattle off your problems with out any real thought or compassion as to why anyone else was there.

Who actually diagnosed you with SZA/BD?, and how do you know they actually did diagnose you?...if they know that disagreeing with your self diagnosis might set you off and into the arms of another paid mental heath professional

 

I never said my life was hard because of schiz/bipolar. Did I come across that way?

And my schizophrenia is not as bad as many other people. I can function.

I had been diagnosed with it for a long time, but was arguing against it, saying it was just affects of hallucinogens, but then I realized they were right after about 2 years of arguing against it.

I am hoping to have an MRI done soon to confirm.

I didn't even say I had "problems," did I? I said I had these symptoms. I didn't say I wasn't happy. But I can still go to counselling about it. I find it useful.

Other people have harder problems, I didn't even say that I had any, did I? I like who I am.

But it wouldn't make for very productive counseling to go in there and go "other people have worse problems, so I'm not going to talk today."

 

Dont get defensive, just saying thats how everyone else is going to think, especially if from the outside your life does look better than theirs

Which is exactly why in group therapy they group together people with the same afflictions, which is a little self defeating in itself, maybe sometimes a little , you know what am I really crapping on about is a good thing, rather than being wrapped up in cotton wool all the time

 

I've never been in group therapy other than addiction stuff and that was court ordered?

 

The MRI is because they are looking for exclusions, which means you have been diagnosed yet, in their eyes anyway

 

No the MRI is for my own personal knowledge. They didn't require it. It will show enlarged ventricles if it is a correct diagnosis.

 

Well, I can tell you I know nothing about this disorder. It sounds like you've sought professional help- wonderful. I would definitely recommend you get opinions from several psychiatrists to confirm things, and continue with psychotherapy if you find it effective! Good luck!

 

You can have the exact same symptoms with any or a combination of many reasons.

It doesn't mean they're wrong about how you see things, if the MRI doesn't show enlarged ventricles.

 

You either have it or you don't, just like you have any other disorder or you don't.

Not that I even MIND having it, if I do.

If I do, that means I've never known anything else, so I don't even know what it's like not to have it.

Not that I really care any way.

 

Ok, that kind of doesnt make sense in a way, theyd need the MRI to exclude other causes o make a correct diagnosis in the first place.

Dont get me wrong, not arguing with you saying you dont have it, but the whole area is a bit fuzzy, especially if you have a history of substance abuse, but it sounds like what they have categorized you as is different to what they are telling you.

Not that it really matters as there is the whole cause and effect thing, an underlying biological cause that meant you were always going to be more susceptible to substance abuse which exacerbates that biological cause followed eventually by a treatment that includes prescription drugs that supposedly target that root cause but they are less effective or have unwanted side effects becuase of the non controlled substance abuse that was caused by the root cause in the first place

Its enough to give you a headache

 

I follow you exactly. Schizophrenics are more prone to substance abuse, which (especially hallucinogens) exacerbate the symptoms.

They didn't even tell me to get an MRI.

That is just on my own. The psychiatrist doesn't even care too much about it, but I said I'd show it to get anyway.

 

I'm not the craziest person in the world or anything. I'm pretty normal from outward appearance.

Sometimes, I see people doing all kinds of crazy stuff like cross-dressing in the middle of downtown and I know I'm more normal than that, so I'm not complaining or anything.

 

avoid drugs, OP .. most of them will not help your mental condition. especially the ones i think you may have a fascination with by reading some of your posts. in particular, any psychotomimetic agent, or sympthomimetic stimulants will be like constructive interference and make any symptoms more pronounced.