theres no one right for me around here

this is just kind of a rant, just to vent out a little, i suppose, just so you know.

how come i can not find the right type of girl for me? it seems i have thought i have found the right one so many different times, but looking back, i know what i truely want in a girl, and i have never found one that has been right for me in anyone i have been interested in the past.

I have dated a few times, but have never been in a relationship. I want one so bad, just the thought of holding a girl and snuggling her all night to feel her warmth against me just feels good. But kind of jumping back and forth, all the girls i have been interested in are nothing that they perceive. For instance, the last girl i dated a few times seemed really nice, and gentle, after hanging out with her around school, someone i could be with. But after only a few days, i find this complete other side of her thats just mean and disrespectful. All she seemed to be interested inwas talking about her last boyfriend and talking behind her best friends backs or fellow students. Thats actually how its been with all the girls i run into it seems. Now i know there are girls that dont do that sort of stuff, i just wish i could find em.

The only real type im looking for now is a musician that i can actually relate, because i have come to realize thats all i truely know now, and is the best way i can communicate with someone. I think it would just be fascinating to play songs with the one i love, trading ideas back and forth, playing each other songs, together and sepreatly. thats all i really want now...someone kind, cute, and is a musician.

Im sure that i wont be able to find anyone here anymore, i just hope i can find someone like that in college. I really hope i do...i realize that sometimes get huge loads of depression, and i really think if i was with someone i can relate to and love, that depression could be lifted.

alright, i let that all out in the open. I dont care if anyone posts, just felt i needed to get that out

 

How cute. 5 years max, yer ass is on the couch cold and lonely.

Or the other most likely route, she'll drag you down even worse. Young man, you have lots to learn.

 

Bro you're thinkin about it way to much.. you just gotta let it happen. Every girl is gonna have their flaws... i learnt the hard way too.. i dated this girl that i completely fell for and i thought she was perfect but then she would say something or forget to call me... and i took it WAY to seriously... so just go with the flow... be your self ... and find someone who can be themselves around you (the talk-behind-her-friends-back-girl obviously wasn't being herself around you). It should happen naturally.

"And your flaws simply add to your perfection"

 

maybe i am a bit...hehe...

im not looking for anyone perfect really, im just looking for someone.

 

Get a cat and get on with your own life.

 

Tommyboy487 has real good point!!!

 

EHHhhh...you will probably be lucky to find a girl like you described in your lifetime alone, and its not something you can just snap your fingers and have happen, not anything like that at all, but thats what makes it even more rewarding and special in the end, not compromising what you know you really want even though its very hard to find it in this world... i definatley feel where your comin from though, and think it'd do me worlds of good to just have a like minded person to connect and relate with, and remind me that its okay to feel how i do about things, and someone who can just listen and understand what im saying and understand why im feeling so drawn to this certain path, thats what can be so beautiful about these forums.... or to just find some valuable experience to really enjoy and bask in, not that what i am going through now is not valuable experience, all life can be valuable experience.

but it seems like i havent got my fair share at sometimes and ive already sacraficed plenty, and then i realize ive been given loads of knowledge and precious gifts of life and harmony in exchange for these sacrafices, and i can only imagine what will be given to me for continuing to sacrafice certain things i wont get into right now because i guess they could be considered rather extensive, perhaps my rewards are so vast i wont even see them in this lifetime? perhaps im not meant to find love because im meant to be the next real revolutionary and love will distract me from that path and helping THE world instead of MY world? i dont know, these are thoughts that flow through my head at times, and then i remember that everyone experiences this. and even the man who has 'the most' still probably yearns for more, and less really is more when it comes to this kind of stuff. and i seem to get reminders and signs allll the time that im here for a reason and it truely is a fascinating thing if you pay attention to it. then i also feel like i just made the whole thing up sometimes, and i get to feeling like since ive experienced such miracles of supernatural nature that i get to expecting them all the time, almost like i cheated to get to them before, so now i cant have them the natural way and rate they were meant to progress at, but i try not to blame myself for too much of that. but it is a constant annoyance to remember this stuff and almost subconsciously seek it out all the time sometimes. life is suffering, and learning, like the buddha said.

and then of course you have the nagging voice of society and 'normalcy' and culture still tugging at you consistently humming its song in the background like it has been since you were born but you have to try to stay true to yourself and what you have been blessed to know or think is right. not that you cant do that while coexisting with a terribly ugly culture and society, idk, i am really confused about a lot of things in this world of ours obviously as you are too probably. its a natural reaction to all this crap, and i really do think i have gotten worlds better at ignoring things i should be ignoring. i used to feed such ugly inner demons soo much energy and they ate it all right up. and it was SUUUUCH a waste of energy and i truely got sucked right up into it all without even realizing it. the whole basis of the demons were just fucked up, but i didnt even pay the foundation of the whole thing any mind because i was so caught up in what it had spawned. but now that i dont feed them energy because well, ive been blessed to learn to trust myself more than people finally.. and they dont seem to bother me as much, though its good to feed them a certain amount of energy and pay them some mind and cut them back now and then. otherwise they will grow back again completley probably, its tricky i guess, a real lifelong journey probably..

it seems like time plays a huge role in these kinds of things, and time truely works wonders in bringing things together and unfolding so much. rome was not built in a day nor will any humans idea of paradise probably. so i guess we just have to remain positive and hopeful and just let life pull us where it wants us to be and live life on lifes terms. no matter how 'negative' they are or how much longing or hardship or selfless sacrafice we have to endure, and just be grateful and accepting of what weve been given, despite how easy it is to become hateful and spiteful and negative and selfish..no matter how much negativity and REALLY conventional cultural eye-glassed ideas people and society throw our way and no matter how right or cool they think they are in being mean and disrespectul like you said, or no matter how far they have their head shoved up their own asses. i guess its kindof pointless to tell them that though, they will probably respond with some other ego-based game and remain just a blob of negativity trying to protect their own self and nothing more. you know being mean and disrespectful isnt where its at, so just remember that, and remember your better than a lot of them, try to keep your head, you seem to have a good one. society will always be doing fucked up shit at this point in human history unfortunatley, and its not gonna do us much good to continue to get dragged down by it. though its incredibly easy and okay sometimes to feel that way, especiiiiially in this society and culture, in my eyes anyway. i guess this is what they call the dark night of the soul?? to defeat them we must understand them someone once said, and without dwelling in the dungeons of our society or ourselves how could we ever get to know them? and its a vast complex web they have spun for us to figure out, a vast complex web of all kinds of life and perception and information and realities and what have you. the possibilities are endles. and we all still do indeed have much growing to do, and we always will probably, but thats the beauty of the whole thing, peace.

 

Get a CAT AND GET ON WITH YOUR OWN LIFE

 

You come first Rhasta penguin, if you expect a woman to make u feel good u give them all the power. You have to have the confidence and feel good about yourself first and make it radiate from you. I know it sounds hard to do. An important point is to be selective, if you see a woman who for some reason seems like a total bitch, is into her self..etc walk off. In some cases if she doesnt smile or laugh that is a good enough sign to walk off and say you dont need someone like that anyways. I don't believe u have to wait very long if u can build in yourself a positive mental state of mind, but it takes work like anything else..... Ok?

 

man, i hear you. It's so hard to find someone to click with, especially if you want something a little deeper than a shared love of getting pissed and scoring a random in town...(most of the guys round here care about rugby; getting so pissed they sprew, preferably on someone; and scoring a hot chick in mini skirt and ugg boots)

but yeah, just hang in there, and, wooo, i don't know - don't overlook platonic mates, they can lift you and be there for you too.

as for the girlsyou met who seemed bitchy - maybe try not to take that too seriously. It's quite possible that if they/she liked you she was only spouting off because of nerves.
i know that when i'm around the guy i like i get ACTUTE verbal diarreah, the shit that comes out of my mouth is awful - it's like i have no inner monolouge, and i'll hear myself say something and just be like 'what? why on earth did you tell him that for, you dork?'

eh, it could just be a case of meeting someone you like and having the urge to share everything with them, because you see them as this awesome person who you turn to for advice, maybe it sounds like bitching but it's done without a bitchy intent, if that makes sense.

anyway, i'm tired (so i can't spell), i'm waffling (so i'm probably not making sense)
but what i guess i'm trying to say is
*don't overlook platonic mates, they can be as supportive as a non-plationic mate

*there are decent people out there, but even decent people get nervous around the ones they like, so, at least at the beginning maybe take what they say with a grain of salt

*don't worry too much about finding someone right now - just enjoy the fact that you are still here to daydream about finding them and to y'know, feel the sunshine and the breeze and dance like a dork and jump in puddles and all that other stuff that sounds trite but it's true, you need to be happy in your skin (which can come from the simple thrills in life). Believe me, the happiness reward will be greater from you than if you rely on somone else.

Happiness is never going to switch on one day and last forever but you can catch random snatches now and then of such amazing happy joy, like polyphonic spree happy, that it can make the rest worthwhile. you just have to relax and enjoy while it's there.

right-o so that's bullshitting enough from me, but good luck mate

 

no way I'm gomma read all that...Dude, you're 18, don't worry about this shit. Enjoy life, go with the flow and if you meet someone..cool..if not, get the cat Irongoth was talking about. Peace